


The Caustic Cohabitation Conundrum Sheldon Five's Story

by hazelra7



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26900074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelra7/pseuds/hazelra7
Summary: The year is 2000.Dr. Sheldon Cooper is sent to a liberal bastion of Harvard to teach freshman Physics. His problems are just beginning when he is placed in the biology grad student dorm for housing. His new beguiling roommate has quite a few suggestions for the pedantic new professor. Can the 21 year old Sheldon Cooper survive the summer living with a 20 year old Amy Farrah Fowler? Part of a larger Story arc (Six Sheldons)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	The Caustic Cohabitation Conundrum Sheldon Five's Story

**Chapter 1: Ch 1 Please come to Boston**

**Chapter 1**

**Please come to Boston...**

Spring in Boston is normally beautiful. The shackles of old man winter are finally released, the chill is gone from the air and flowers are beginning to bloom with the promise of a fragrant filled day. Unfortunately, no one gave Mother Nature the memo. It was the year 2000, the end of April and the temperature outside was a balmy 46.9°Fdegrees. Snow flurries were flowing as Dr. Sheldon Cooper made his way from Logan Airport to the shuttle to take him to Harvard. Sheldon wasn't surprised by the weather, he had expected something to go wrong. It was just another in a long line of mishaps that brought him to Harvard: the Den of the Yankee elite.

The initial plan had been for him to work at Caltech this summer doing pure research. He had some promising idea's on string theory, which he had happily informed the university president, Dr. Seibert, at 2:00 AM on a Christmas Morning. The president had not been pleased to be woken at such an hour, nor were his wife and children, who had wondered why Santa Claus was a skinny tall man wearing a shirt like Superman. When Sheldon informed the doe eyed little children that there was no such thing as Santa, and it was a ruse perpetuated to increase consumer spending in the sagging winter economy, the president had made the decision to send Dr. Cooper on a trip, while drying the tears of his offspring.

He had wanted the trip to be sooner rather than later but unfortunately as brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper was, no University in the entire country would take him without an indemnity waver, large stipend and a muzzle. Finally Seibert tracked down an old friend at Harvard who owed him a favor, which the president happily called in looking upon it as a belated Christmas present to have Dr. Cooper off campus for one summer at least. Once the arrangements had been made President Siebert took great pleasure in informing Sheldon Cooper that he would now be teaching freshman physics students for the summer. Sheldon was mortified knowing that most of these students were taking the class to make up for their failing grades during the regularly scheduled school year.

Sheldon was now driving around Boston serving his "sentence" as he called it. As Sheldon was given a driving tour of the iconic bay, Beacon Hill and Faneuil Hall, he was in a foul mood. Nothing was appealing to him as he scowled at the overwhelming use of brick, and houses built too close together, but the cold, everything was so cold. The worst part of the trip was passing MIT along the way. At least, he thought with a silent chuckle, that university had some real physicists on staff, though he was sure that none of them were as brilliant as he, but at least it wasn't some blowhard overpriced liberal college using his brilliant mind in a dog and pony show just to attract donors. However, Sheldon consoled himself with the thought that it would only be for the summer, and soon he would be back in California, where he belonged.

The shuttle dropped him off outside the faculty housing office. He trotted into the office, holding his thin jacket closed and shivering and mumbling. "Boy that is a bracing cold, an invigorating cold. Lord, is it cold!" He made his way to the desk and checked in.

The middle aged woman with frosted tipped hair glanced briefly at Sheldon then pushed up her glasses and continued to work on her crossword puzzle as she said, "Sweetie, the high school tours are meeting in the quad. Just take…"

Sheldon was used to this degrading treatment. Going to college at the age of 11, he had heard this same dismissal for the last 9 years, through his undergrad, grad, and doctoral work. However, now that he would be on the staff he felt that the quip had run its course. He was cold, tired and in no mood to explain once again, he was old enough.

Sheldon seeing her name tag sighed and answered in a monotone low voice, "Well… Mildred… I am here to check in for faculty housing. Yes.. I am on staff. Yes… I will be a professor… Yes… I look young… All very amusing… Now can we please get past the impending Doogie Howser, M.D. references, and find my room…"

Mildred pushed back her chair, and eyed the lanky boy again. He looked all of 16, wearing the same shirt her teenage son had begged her to buy for him for Christmas. He was tall however, at least 6 ft. He looked like he needed a good meal and acted like he should be thrown over someone's knee.

"What's yaw name, sweetie?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes at the overly familiar moniker, "Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

"You're Dr. Coopa? Holy crap!" She had been told to expect a well-known physicist, but she had missed the memo that he was still in high school, or looked like it. "I'm speechless!"

"Yes, I have that effect on people. Now the room please…." This trip just continued to be a disaster as Sheldon continued to wait watching the woman struggle with the most basic of computer programs.

Finally after 10 long minutes Mildred came up with a result, "Here we go, Dorm…."

"I'm sorry, but in what Universe would I be staying in a dorm? I was promised my own apartment, with a working thermostat and hopefully a space heater that won't kill me in the night with carbon dioxide gas. Now you are telling me, I am going to be placed in some dorm? With a communal bathrooms? How is this even possible? Sheldon Cooper does not share a bathroom! WITH ANYONE!"

"I'm sorry Dr. Coopa, but all the faculty housing is full. You can either share an apartment with the Geology department or you can share an apartment with one of the grad students. It's not like an undergraduate dorm. You will have your own room, your own bath, you will just share a common room, but it is with only one other person. Everyone will be your age, sir. It could be fun!" She gave him a toothy grin but, even distanced by the reception desk, her breath smelled too much like coffee and Pall Malls to give any comfort.

"Excuse me, but to assume that I have "fun" with people my own age is insulting. Secondly, what if these people are my students, huh? How can I be sure they won't come into my room and steal my exams, which I can tell you, lady, have brought many a student to tears!" Sheldon raised his eyes, hoping to strike fear into this dragon with silver hair. He only got an eye roll in response.

"There are no Physics students there." Though the small woman with the thick Boston accent and sweet demeanor appeared as if she would give in to any demand, she was used to dealing with children of all ages and remained steadfast, "It's the biology student's housing for grad students."

"Oh god! Not the icky squishy crowd!"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Dr. Coopa, but again…no physics students will be there. However, you are welcome to visit some of our rental housing in Southie. I have to tell ya, though, those townies get wicked pissed at Harvard types, so I would keep your head down." Sheldon knew from the look in her eyes that she meant business as she slid the map to his allocated accommodation across the desk and pushed up her glasses. He swallowed and took the paper.

"Better than the damn dirt worshipers." He muttered as he zipped up his jacket and stomped off to face the cold again.

Finding his way through the maze that was Harvard's campus, he reached the dorm that was to be his home till August and hated it instantly. He hated the grey stone, the creeping vines growing up the sides of the cobblestone walls, the large wooden door that looked like a church entrance. But inside was even worse: Wood floors, spindled hand carved wood staircase and leaded glass windows _. Okay_ , he had to admit, _it was a little like a castle and castles are cool._ Though hopefully, it would not be too much like a castle with the heat loss, risk of fires and tendency to be overrun by English invaders.

He found the room he was assigned, it was on the 2nd floor, and was surprised to find a pleasant room when he opened the door. There was a sitting area with a desk, a kitchenette and a leather couch facing the television. The dark thick wood bookcases behind the couch were empty waiting to be filled with all manner of Physics knowledge and tomes on string theory. A separate door led to a bedroom and a small bathroom with a standing shower. No tub. He was thankful, he hated to think what infectious horrors would await him in a biology dorm room. That crowd probably brought their work home and dissected all sorts of things in this medieval house of horrors.

After an afternoon of thorough scrubbing and disinfecting, the room was not so bad. Finally, he thought, something was going right. That was until her heard a woman's husky voice behind him.

"Hello. Are you my roommate?" Letting out a yelp, Sheldon twirled around to see a woman standing in his living room. She was wearing a lab coat which was two sizes too big for her. Her chestnut hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Though she was wearing thick glasses, he could see her green eyes flash at him when she smiled. Her teeth could light up the room, they were so bright. He wondered where she had come from shuddering to think this castle-type dorm was haunted. He had heard that these New England places were rife with ghosts, although as a scientist he never could let himself believe it. It was then he noticed there was another door attached to the living area, which was now open. She must have come from there, he thought as he snapped his reply at her.

"I should certainly hope not! This is a male dorm!"

The woman rolled her eyes at him, "No… this is a co-ed dorm!"

"Oh sweet lord." Sheldon almost fainted. He fell back on the couch and grasped his chest. His southern belle twin sister would have been proud of his performance. "I've landed in some hippy commune!" He held his arms over his chest as if protecting his modesty from her prying eyes. "There goes my Nobel! I'll be drowning in a haze of Aqua Net and estrogen by the end of the week!"

The short brunette shook her head and stomped over to Sheldon, pointing at his near shocked face, "Oh, get over yourself. Don't think I'm too happy about it either. So listen up pal, all forms of physical contact, up to and including coitus are strictly off the table, got it? I don't need some hormone raging stud muffin distracting me from my work and ogling my bedonkadonk!"

"What the devil is that?" Sheldon knew they spoke differently up north, but not this strange.

The girl pushed her an arrant strand of her hair back and looked down, "Sorry… I use urban slang when I am nervous. Just be sure to stay on your own side of the door, got it?" The woman turned around in military fashion and marched off toward her room. Before she reached the door, she turned back around and said in a calmer tone, "I'm Amy, by the way. Amy Farrah Fowler."

Sheldon stumbled for his words, but at least his jaw had returned to its original position after her rant, "Umm.. Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

Amy came back into the room for a moment and her eyes lit up, "Dr.?" She eyed Sheldon up and down, taking note of his age, "Really? Of what?"'

Sheldon's normal verbose replies were stifled by her presence, "Physics."

Amy's shoulders slumped, "Oh, too bad. I thought it would be something interesting. "Oh well, good day!" She turned around and marched off again, closing the door behind her with a thud.

"Stud muffin?" Sheldon let out a heavy sigh, "These Yankee girls are bat crap crazy."

The quick return visit to the same unhelpful Faculty housing office clerk did not go as well as Sheldon had hoped. She informed him, that since he was 21, he should be mature enough to live with a woman roommate and if not, she could place him in a male only dorm; with a Liberal Arts freshman. It was when she informed him that these included students studying such topics as poetry, Women's Studies and ethnomusicology majors, Sheldon suddenly decided that he was mature enough to handle co-ed living. The thought of spending another semester hearing the grunting sounds of his libertine bunk mates having coitus was just too much to bear. Of course, the grunting sounds would have been from the ethnomusicology majors, as he shuttered to think what kind of a man would majoring in woman studies. He put on a fake smile, trudged out of the office, and returned to his cage.

Having packed light, Sheldon was able to settle into his temporary confines fairly quickly. The bedroom was pleasant enough, and after a thorough cleaning with copious amounts of disinfectant and a rigorous inspection of his bed, he was ready to spend his first in the room. He listened intensely all night for any sound coming from his roommate. Sheldon was no rookie when it came to women folk. He had a twin sister who had tortured him till he was least 11 years old, before he went off to school and thereafter, every summer and winter break. He expected all kinds of womanly sounds to emerge from her room: Hair dryers, caterwauling of boy bands, estrogen based crying fits, and squawking on her phone till all hours over some boy who "did her dog". Instead Sheldon heard…nothing. Not a sound from her room, just the wind making the large oak tree brush it's new leaves against his window.

The next morning, Sheldon awoke at his normal 6:30 AM before the alarm went off. It was Sunday, so he was looking forward to watching Doctor Who and having a bowl of cereal. Then a terrible thought hit him: he hadn't bought any groceries. For the first time in 6 years, he would miss Doctor Who because he had to go to some over-priced college commissary to hunt down his cereal.

Having showered and dressed, he emerged from his bedroom to spot his female roommate in the kitchen looking quite different than the day before. Gone was the overly large lab coat, and in its place, a tight beige skirt, dark tights with sensible shoes, and a striped cardigan. Her hair was different as well, lose around her face. It was straight, shiny and quite long indeed. It almost hit her waist with a long bobby pin holding it off her face. She wore make-up, but it was hardly noticeable and nowhere near as much as his sister used. As soon as Sheldon reached the counter, he cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Oh my god, Dr. Cooper! You scared the life outta me!" Amy held her chest to catch her breath. "You move like a cat!"

Sheldon smirked, "I love cats, but yes, I am quite quiet. Years of trying to avoid bullies."

Amy laughed, "Boy, I wished I had learned that trick! Coulda saved years of being locked in boy's locker rooms. Hey, you hungry Dr. Cooper? I have English muffins…Danishes.." Amy poked her head in the fridge and kept talking. All Sheldon could see was her backside sticking out of the fridge and hear her muffled voice through the metal door, "Eggs… Bacon… Toast…" Amy popped her head back, "What do you want?"

"Oh… I am.. thank you. I haven't been to the grocery store yet." Sheldon tried to catch a glimpse of the fridge's contents as she bent over again.

"Well I procured a few essentials when I was informed I would be having you as a roommate." Amy cleared her throat, "Well not YOU. I knew a person was coming, I thought it would be a… different type of person." Amy looked Sheldon up and down with scrutiny and then looked back to the fridge, "Anyway... as most students leave for the summer, I didn't expect a roommate. I was only told last week. OH! I have cereal, just enough for one bowl! The milk is 2%." Amy popped back up again with a wide smile.

"Oh, that's what I eat on Sunday!" Sheldon beamed a smile at her, the first she had seen on his face since he had arrived. He looked at her for a moment making made eye contact before he looked away and spoke looking down at his hands, "Every Sunday I eat cereal with 2% milk and watch Doctor Who at precisely 7:00 AM." Sheldon looked up again giving her a small smile, She almost blushed, but instead started to speak as fast as an auctioneer.

"Perfect. Here you go. "Amy brought him out a bowl and spoon and poured his cereal. As he watched her, he was anxious that she would not know the exact milk to cereal ratio and was only half listening to the rules as he watched her every move like a nervous new mother and the cereal was his baby. "Now. Rules of the apartment are as follows…"

Amy continued her rapid fire rules. "No parties after 10 PM. No hard liquor. Though I would prefer there be no liquor at all, if I were honest. You can watch whatever you want, but I watch Little House on the Prairie every other Sunday at 2:00 PM. Unless it's a power study day as opposed to regular study days. Oh, Study days: No loud talking, no girls over. No annoying sounds, like small power tools or throat music. Oh, if it's a test day, and I'm out of Yoohoo, there will be hell to pay!"

He watched his cereal being prepared by a master, noting how she poured the perfect amount of milk by sight. Being in awe at her artistry, Sheldon only heard a few things, Liquor, Little House, Girls and Yoohoo, his mind still trying to catch up with her rapid fire list. "Hold up… What about girls and power tools."

Amy narrowed her gaze at him and shook her head, "Oh… you're one of those huh? Shoulda known just looking at you! Listen up, pretty boy, no girls over on study day! Got it!?"

Sheldon was still trying to process her words. Had he really just heard her call him Pretty boy? He finally found his voice, "I've never had a girl over in my life!"

Amy suddenly popped her eyes open as she cocked her head to one side, "Oh, but the rule applies to male lovers as well."

Sheldon stood up and grabbed his perfect cereal to shield it from her saucy talk, "Lovers? NO! I am a man of science! I have never succumbed to my baser urges like some philistine." Sheldon walked over to the couch and roughly sat down. Last night he had found that the left most section had been the most comfortable, though it had taken 20 minutes to discover this. Now he was snuggled in. He had 10 minutes before Doctor Who started and was almost in heaven, except for the saucy brunette making vulgar comments toward him about liquored up lovers with power tools.

"So do you agree that no conjugal visits or wild parties are acceptable parameters for our communal relationship?"

"Of course! Why would you assume that I would do ANY of those things! I never gave you any such indication. I'm here to work, not flood my endocrine system with sexed up goofy juice like some Neanderthal!" Sheldon voice rose in indignation as he snorted and looked down at his cereal.

"I'm sorry if I offended you. You have no idea what kind of roommates I've had in past." Amy dropped down on the other end of the couch giving him plenty of room. Letting out a huge sigh she looked as if she would let her guard down for a moment but then she quickly changed back to her stoic self.

Sheldon watched the strange woman sit up, pull down her sweater, and straighten out her skirt. She seemed focused, driven. He only looked at her for a moment before looking away, "Preaching to the choir sister. I think your rules are acceptable. I will make a few of my own, and draw up an agreement. For clarification, when are these study days?"

"Every day except the third Sunday of the month. I go to the zoo. Oh and shopping day. Like today!"

"The Zoo?" He took a large bite of his cereal relaxing into the spot. The milk ratio was perfection.

"I know… I know.. I feel like a slacker. But what's life without a little whimsy. Speaking of shopping. I only bought the essentials. I think it would be best if we have certain things communally, like milk, bread, butter. Etc. However, for specialty items we can make a coordinate system in the fridge."

"Like a Cartesian Plane? Good idea." It was an excellent idea actually. He wished that he had thought of it for his old roommates who had constantly pilfered his secret red vine stash.

Amy smiled slightly at his compliment, "I have tried using a label maker with roommates in the past, but the condensation made the labels come off."

Sheldon smiled, "I've tried the same method, interesting." Sheldon noticed the time. He had 2 more minutes before his show started, " That's a prudent plan… I also would like to do some shopping. Is there a store within walking distance?"

"No car?"

"Um.. no…" Sheldon did not want to admit he couldn't drive. "I can drive… I chose not to…" He twitched as he looked away from her quizzical stare.

"Harvard can be such tightwads with their faculty budget. I'm not surprised they didn't provide you with a car. I have a car, but parking in Boston is as difficult as nailing jello to a tree."

Sheldon let out a chuckle and almost spit out his milk, "My Mama says that, how funny." He gave her a quick half smile and looked at his watch. She looked at hers at the same time.

"If you are amenable, I can take you with me to the store. I will be leaving at precisely 3 PM. After my trip to the zoo." Amy looked forward. She sat as stiff as mannequin on the couch. Though her robotic delivery might have been off-putting to some, Sheldon found it oddly comforting.

"Where is the zoo in relation to the store?" He took one last bite of his perfect cereal and chewed while she explained the route.

"Well, the cheapest store is to the East of Harvard approximately 3 miles. Therefore, I could take main over the Longfellow, then right on Washington which turns into Corridor Park, however, I prefer to take the south route, along Riverway, then it turns to Jamaicaway and then…" Amy looked at her watch, abruptly cut off the conversation and turned on the television for Sheldon. She handed Sheldon the remote, took his empty bowl from the coffee table, cleaned it up, placed it back in the cabinet and without another word went to her room.

Exactly an hour later, she returned with her handbag strap over her shoulder and wearing a heavy coat. Sheldon's program was just finished and he turned off the television.

Amy took a breath and said, "then take it to Arborway. It is a much more pleasant drive, but Jamaicaway can be pretty harried. However, to answer your initial question, 7 miles, 18 minutes. 10.8 miles from the grocery." She gave him a quick smile, that just as quickly dropped off her face and she headed toward the door.

The fact that she had left the sentence uncompleted had driven Sheldon crazy the entire hour he had halfheartedly watched Doctor Who. He was now so relieved that she had finished the conversation. Surprisingly the woman before him fascinated him more than any re-run of the show he had seen a hundred times. She was mystery to him and one he was willing to investigate.

Sheldon looked confused, "Where are you going?"

Amy rolled her eyes, "As I stated earlier, the Zoo."

Sheldon didn't look at her as he stood up and announced, "I'll get my coat."

Amy pulled her head back in confusion, "Um… who said _you_ were going?"

"You did. It is completely inefficient to go from Harvard to the zoo, then back to Harvard to get me, then back to the store. You will add approximately 14.8 more miles on your vehicle, not to mention gas."

"Gas is only 1.10 a gallon." Amy backed toward the counter getting out of the way of Sheldon's dash to get retrieve his coat.

"Yes, and you would be wasting it. Now, shall we?" Sheldon headed out of the room then stopped and thought for a moment. He turned back and held the door for her, holding his head down as she walked out.

They walked in a tense silence down to the car, neither one wanting to be the first to speak again. Sheldon had expected the worst from the East Coast weather, but it wasn't as biting cold as it had been the day before, in fact the temperature had risen significantly and Amy seemed hot in her overly large over coat. When they arrived at the car, she opened the driver's side door, pulled forward the driver's seat then peeled the coat off and folded it neatly placing it in the back seat. As she bent over to place the coat, Sheldon couldn't help but notice how well she folded it. His eyes followed her movements like a laser tracking beam.

Sheldon was always a nervous passenger especially in a car with an unknown driver. However, she seemed quite qualified to operate a vehicle. She checked the mirrors, adjusted her seat and placed the car in neutral. Sheldon noticed it was a standard car, _even more pedals to deal with_ , he lamented. He was however fascinated with the idea of a clutch, but there was no way he would drive. His brother had tried to teach him one summer and they had ended up in a ditch. This woman drove like an Indy car driver, but with a healthy respect for the speed limit. He watched the pedals intensely as she shifted each gear hypnotized by the way she held the gear shift. Sheldon was sure that if he paid attention to her moves, he would have no problem picking it up. He just had to watch her legs, for educational purposes, to be sure.

They arrived at the zoo without incident, although she was right, Jamaicaway was harrowing experience with more twists and turns than a roller coaster. Amy entered the zoo and made a bee line to the monkey exhibit. Sheldon looked at the map but deciding to leave the tour to the experts, he stayed about 20 feet behind Amy, shadowing her as she strolled through the park. Sheldon noticed that her long hair glistened in the sun, like melted amber caught in dark colored wood.

Amy looked back, every once in a while, and caught his gaze, but would then quickly turned back to the exhibits. Finally she stopped, outside of the gibbons' cage and placed her hands on her hips. She called out to him, "If you're going to be a stalker, please do a better job of it. Now come on!" Amy tilted her head to him to join her.

Sheldon walked quickly over to her and looked down with a scowl, "I wasn't being a stalker. I was just walking in the same direction as you were albeit a slower pace."

"Well, keep up, maybe you'll learn something."

Sheldon snorted, "Excuse me, little lady, but just because you have a background in biology, doesn't mean you have ANYTHING to teach me!"

Amy narrowed her eyes, accepting the challenge, "Really, Dr. Levels and Pulleys. Did you know the Gibbon is classified as Hylobatidae, the only one of the genus?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes in haughty derision, "Yes! I can read the sign."

Amy mocked him with a snort of her own, "Well, did you also know the Gibbon displays sexual dimorphism."

"Yes, they also mate for life. At least they only have to deal with one unruly female in their short lives." Sheldon did not notice Amy's burning green eyes boring into the back of his head.

"Probably as they are the same size, the male doesn't think he can dominate over the female because of size." Amy looked up at Sheldon and changed to a challenging tone, "Too bad all apes don't do that, huh Dr. Cooper. You could learn a few things about respecting women."

"Oh, don't feel special because you are a woman. I believe in gender equality when it comes to condescension for lesser minds."

"Lesser minds?" Amy held onto her fist, "Listen up pal, I have 185 IQ, 189 on some tests. I have a near perfect mnemonic memory ability, and graduated at 16!"

Sheldon snorted and raised his nose even higher than it already was, "Well, I have 187 IQ, and eidetic memory and graduated High School at 11, so there!"

Amy stopped at cocked her head, "Eidetic?"

Sheldon crossed his arms and raised his head, waiting for her to challenge him, "Yes."

"That's kinda hot." Amy smirked for a moment and then uncrossed her arms.

"Really?" Sheldon dropped his arms immediately as his eyes popped wide.

Amy cleared her throat, "Yeah, well… I can drive."

"I told you, I chose not to."

"Okay, well, now you can use your eidetic memory and get us home, here are the keys." Amy handed Sheldon the keys to her car, which he looked at as if was holding a dead rat wearing a dirty sock.

Sheldon twitched and chewed his lip, then said, quietly, "Really, 189?"

Amy took her keys back, "You know those numbers are unreliable at high levels."

Sheldon tried desperately to hold back his grin, but it seeped out, "Yes I do."

Amy smiled, "College at 11… That's pretty impressive. You must have been scared to go to university at such a young age. Wow. I don't think I could have done that."

Sheldon let out a sigh as he recalled that time. It had been difficult and a very hard transition in his life. His mother had even taken a little time off from her job and stayed in the same town to keep an eye on him, but that could not last forever, and after a while, he was on his own. He had been on his own ever since.

"You went at 16, that's young as well..." He smiled at Amy, who brushed her hair behind her ears and continued to observe the Gibbons. Earlier the Gibbons had been fighting for dominance over a tree ring and over which one would get to ride inside. By the time Sheldon looked back at the pair, they had both hung to the side of the tire swing and were playing happily.

Sheldon let out a chuckle, "All the non-human apes are classified as great apes except one, this poor sap here. That means taxonomists created the entire category of lesser ape just to single out the poor gibbon as the weird kid on the playground."

Amy let out a giggle, "That's hysterical. You're pretty funny Dr. Cooper."

"Thank you, Ms. Fowler." Sheldon blushed at the rare compliment.

After they left the Gibbons, the two didn't stop talking for the rest of the day. It was as if they were trying to impress each other with their knowledge, and dueling intellects. Amy was amazed at how such a young person with no biology background could be so knowledgeable on the subject, though she had to admit, the lanky boy standing before her was well versed in almost all subjects that she threw at him. Amy had never met a person who could keep up with her toe to toe in a conversation.

They stopped for lunch, and it was Sheldon's turn to be impressed, not just with her mind, but her planning. Out of her bag, Amy pulled lunch, napkins, plates, wet naps, a towel to sit upon, bug spray, sun screen and just in case the baboons got frisky, pepper spray. Sheldon was beaming as he thought that this woman's bag would make Mary Poppins's carpet bag proud. Sheldon always admired preparedness, and Amy Farrah Fowler was certainly ready for anything.

After a stimulating afternoon, they left the zoo, and went to the grocer together. Other than a propensity for sweets which was unparalleled, Sheldon had similar tastes to Amy. He loaded up the cart with Oreos, strawberry Quik powder, and red vines along with other snacks. Amy laughed to herself, he may be a professor, but he ate like a teenager.

The couple then made their way back to the apartment house with their conversation still in full swing. They put away the groceries together in small space in the kitchen, their actions almost like a dance, with each of them matching the partner's moves. One point Sheldon was reaching up to put away the apple pancake mix on the top shelf, when Amy turned around. They were, within an inch of each other's bodies. Amy noted the talc scent off Sheldon's shirts, but not as much he noted the wafting smell of something citrus. Not quite lemon, not oranges, though it was similar. Sheldon instinctively leaned down slightly to smell her hair again, but Amy backed up.

"Are you okay, Dr. Cooper?" Amy was leaning against the counter bracing herself with her hands. She could feel her heart rate rise and a flush move down her neck. She had never been this close with a man in her life

Sheldon shook from this stupor, "Oh… yes… Ms. Fowler, um… Where should we put the spices?" He tried to change the conversation, but not knowing that scent was like an itch he couldn't scratch. He needed her to come nearer, he had to know, that was the only reason he wanted to stand so close to her, he told himself. Amy moved in a little closer and started to put the spices away, explaining her storage method. Sheldon stood behind her and leaned in again trying tried to catch a hint of the scent, but it was gone.

Once the groceries were put away, and they both had had a quick bite to eat, Amy retired to her room to work, while Sheldon went to his laptop and started to codify the rules of the household. After few hours it was done, and the email was sent to Ms. Fowler. He felt better about the productive day he had, and having such an agreeable and quiet roommate. All was well until her heard a guttural yell from Amy's room and an expletive that he had rarely heard except from his brother.

Amy stormed out of the room, "Are you out of your god damn mind? Roommate agreement? Furniture committee's? You want me to sign that if zombies come, you will let them eat me first to save yourself? Are you nuts?"

Sheldon jumped back to avoid her ire, but was standing over him like a cougar ready to pounce, "You said there were rules for the house, I just added a few! What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? Listen to this, 'The roommates agree that all menstruation cycles will be posted on the community board so as to warn the other members of the household of imminent hormonal based fits.' That is the most sexist thing I've have ever heard."

"Hey! If I shed my uterine lining, I'd tell you!"

Amy cracked her knuckles, "You need to shed something, buddy," Amy crossed her arms, "Are you insane?"

"No! My mother had me tested!"

"She took you to a quack if they said you were normal! There is no way you will find out my period cycle, pal!" Amy growled at him, but Sheldon found some strength to growl back.

"Given your reaction, you don't have to tell me, I think I can guess!" Sheldon opened his eyes wide at her, happy to have made his point, but quickly backed up when he heard her knuckles crack as she made a fist.

"Oh… that is it, pal! You want to play these kinds of games with me, you are so gone! I am going to get you outta here!" Amy stormed off to her room and slammed the door. She was going to the University tomorrow and get this rude know it all out of her life by the end of the day. There was no way she'd spend her summer with Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

**Chapter 2: Ch 2: Watch your dangling participle**

**Chapter 2**

**Watch your dangling participle, Pal...**

The next time Sheldon saw Amy, it was just a glimpse as she dashed out of the house at 7:00 AM the following morning. She marched straight to the graduate student housing authority where she met a lovely woman with frosted tipped hair and the aromatic stench of Pall Malls.

After Amy told the woman her tale of woe, Mildred offered a sympathetic grin, but nothing more: "I'm sorry, sweetie, but there are no other rooms for Dr. Coopa. I can put you in the freshman Dorm, you know, with the art history majors, folklore and…" Mildred cleared her throat, and leaned in to Amy to show her eyes peering over her horned rimmed glasses, "Comparative religions"

Amy looked sick, "Oh god! Well… Would it help if I told you he might be a weirdo?"

Mildred put her elbow on the desk, cupped her face and with a short laugh, " Ha, honey, he graduated at 11 and went straight to college. Frankly, I'm surprised he is as balanced as he is. Tell me, whadda he do?"

Amy pulled out a stack of papers that were wrinkled in anger, "Look at this 'contract' he wants me to sign! It's ridiculous!"

Mildred pushed her glasses down so she could read the thick document. She looked over the contract as if she graduated from Harvard Law then smiled, "Did you read this part?" Mildred handed her the papers back, and Amy saw the line that had caused her to smile. She matched it, and went back to the house with a renewed resolve.

A few hours later, it was Sheldon's voice booming from his own room. He stormed out and shook the contract in front of Amy's face, "What is this? You ruined my perfect agreement!"

"The agreement can be altered and allows for addendums in the case that neither party has agreed to the terms, section 25 Contracts subsection 4 Addendums, paragraph 2, line 3." Amy didn't have to look at the contract to repeat Sheldon's words back to him. He was incensed, but was also aroused at her preparedness... again. She was ready for this fight, but so was he.

He ignored the last part he had just read and continued to glare at Amy's smug smile.

"What do you mean, I have to cook?" Sheldon looked in horror at the kitchen, "I can't cook!"

"Well who did you think was going to do it?"

Sheldon looked her up and down and then swallowed, "Well… You have… the apron!"

"Oh, that is no problem, I can buy you apron, my dear misogynist. But don't forget to read the part about the TV schedule, bed checks, weekly brain scans, blood screening, and daily urine tests to ensure you are not on drugs."

"I have **never** taken illegal drugs!" Sheldon's voice cracked like teenage boy at a choir concert.

"Who said they had to be illegal. You could be hopped on Tylenol and suddenly get crazy cravings for some liver cleansing food like kale or some other such hippy nonsense. A person needs to know if you are going to go off the rails and start making concoctions that will keep me up at night. That blender is loud, buddy!" Amy crossed her arms with a smug swagger.

Sheldon eyes bugged out, "I have never gone off the rails! On Tylenol or any such thing! And what is this part, I have to urinate in front of you!? Every morning?" Sheldon shook the agreement at her face, but Amy was unwavering.

"Yes. This has to be done in the presence of another member of the apartment to insure accuracy. Sorry but there are no male roommates."

"Why should I submit to such invasive procedures?" Sheldon crossed his legs and arms around his body. He knew living with the biology crowd would be a bad idea but he had never envisioned performing his bodily functions in front of one of them.

"For the same reason I have to tell you when my period is started. Men go through hormone fluctuations as well. As far back as the 17th century, scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels."

"I know that! But it's nothing like yours, missy!" Sheldon's eyes were darting around looking for something to task this woman with, but he was at a loss.

"Sure, it is not as extensive, but I need to be prepared for testosterone based anger. It is called Irritable male syndrome (IMS)" Amy pulled out a page she had printed and read, "... which is defined as a state of hypersensitivity, frustration, anxiety, and anger. It's a symptom of biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity'. Hmm, given the look on your face, I think we can safely say your cycle has started now."

"CYCLE!? I don't have a cycle! Loss of what Male Identity? This is outrageous!"

"Goose and Gander, pal. Now, are you going to pee in the cup now, or after breakfast? I really prefer now, oh and don't overcook the bacon. I hate that. Go on sweetie. Hop to it!" Amy sat on the couch and picked up a magazine to hide her wicked grin from the incensed man standing before her. Sheldon was frozen to the spot. He wanted a roommate agreement, but not if he had to submit to such invasions to his privacy. He was close to realizing that he had just asked Amy to be subjected to the same, but was not quite there yet. Amy flipped the tip of her magazine down to see Sheldon's twitching face. She suddenly had sympathy for the man.

Amy said in a sing-songy tone, "Or… there is always option three."

Sheldon stopped twitching, "What would option three entail?" He sat down on the edge of the couch, near his spot and wrung his hands, "Does it include blood… um… tests?"

"No, nor does it include you knowing my cycle or me knowing yours. We could… I don't know… work on the agreement… together? I liked some of what you put in there…" Amy put down her magazine.

Sheldon scooted closer to her, "Well, the part about the weekly disinfecting of the lower wrack of the refrigerator was inspired. I also liked your TV schedule, you put in that we would record each other's shows if we were out."

Amy moved closer to him, "I saw how much you loved that show with the guy with long scarf. I wouldn't want you to miss it." Amy smiled, but dropped it quickly when she felt that flush on her chest again, "I um.. also.. don't want to miss Little House."

Sheldon watched her hands move from her chest to her lap. She was cupping her knees and her hands seemed so small. How a woman with such small hands could take down a giant like Sheldon Cooper, was beyond his comprehension, but down he was. He was hoisted by his own petard of the roommate agreement. He also noted that he had never been more invigorated in his life. The challenge this woman gave him was exhilarating. He had to stifle his erratic breathing with a deep swallow.

"Um.. I understand that sharing the cooking is equitable, however there is one difficultly. I.. um… am not fond of cooking, unless you want meat cooked like chicken."

Amy tilted her head in confusion, "Why not just have chicken?"

"I don't know… They like everything fried down home." His Texas accent gave away his background.

Amy gave a half smile, "Okay, what do you think of this.. I do ALL the cooking except one day a week, when you do that chicken thing…. and you do ALL the laundry of towels and sheets, all the cleaning, except my bedroom, which no boys are allowed in? You seemed to know your way around a mop, though you could use a little lesson on how to wash glasses."

"WHAT! Those glasses were spotless!"

"Sure pal. Anyway, what do you think of having a conference about the agreement, and we hash all this out over lunch today? I get home from class at 11:30."

"Sounds reasonable."

Amy wanted to say, how the hell would you know what reasonable sounds like, but she held back, offered a quick half smile instead and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. It was Monday, and she was in the mood for something light. "Oatmeal?"

"Sounds perfect!" While Amy cooked, Sheldon was able to urinate alone, in peace and without a cup or an observer. He was thrilled.

The lunch meeting went well and the two worked out most of the issues in a calm business-like manner. Sheldon was amazed at how much Amy and he were similar in their likes, quirks and compulsions. Gone was the requirement of knowing each other hormonal cycles, and also the requirements for Skynet, Zombies and time travel. However, Amy did compromise on quite a few items that Sheldon knew she didn't want. They had a malleable document signed and notarized by the end of lunch, which was good timing, since Sheldon had to prepare for his first class.

Though he knew it would all be over in just 45 minutes, Sheldon had been dreading this day. It was an intro physics class, and it was mostly a meet and greet and to hand out the syllabus; the class would actually start next week. He put on the suit that his mother had sent him from the Houston Wal-Mart, and gathered his papers in his messenger bag. Amy was about to leave for her early afternoon classes, when she saw him enter the living area. She thought looked dashing in his plaid black and white suit and slightly askew red tie. She wanted so much to straighten it out, but thought it would be too presumptuous to touch him.

"Well, off I go to the coliseum to be offered as entertainment to the masses. I hope the lions are nice this time." Sheldon looked nervous, and a band of sweat was forming on his forehead.

"Have you done this before, Dr. Cooper?"

"Once, but I was quickly dismissed when all my students dropped out. I also taught a class in Germany, but those students were nice. I think not understanding English helped."

Amy was dying to touch his tie, it was driving her mad. She stepped closer to him, "Um… well you look like a professor, so that is half the battle. Good Luck."

"Thank you. Oh, can I ask, is my tie straight? My mirror is so foggy from all this darn humidity. It's worse than Galveston here!" Sheldon tilted up his neck to give her access.

Amy let out a huge sigh, "Let me fix that for ya!" Amy straightened the tie, and patting down the lapels of his suit, her hands slid down the side of his chest as she flattened the material of his lapels. She was so engrossed in her task, with such a serine smile on her face, she didn't look up to see Sheldon watching her every move. Finally she backed back away and smiled, "Perfect. Knock em dead, Dr. Cooper."

"Well, science will knock em dead, I will just watch the bodies drop." Sheldon took a deep breath to fill his lungs, before he released it all at once and headed out the door. Amy returned around 4:30 in the afternoon. Amy expected she had an hour to prepare dinner before Sheldon came back. He was back at 6:45 and very displeased.

Amy was in the kitchenette, when Sheldon stormed into the room. He had just had a meeting with the University President who was less than pleased with his first class. Sheldon had thought his lecture was inspired, but the students who started to leave within the first 10 minutes were not so impressed. Some had called their rich donor parents who had in turn called the President. The son of the Senator was the most vocal about Sheldon's performance. Sheldon had spent the last 45 minutes being raked over the coals by Harvard's president, who like Caltech, did not appreciate his genius or his smart mouth.

Sheldon unbuttoned his suit jacket, collapsed on the couch, grabbed the afghan, and threw it over his head. Amy studied him like she had done the monkeys in the zoo. She said nothing, but brought him a mug of tea. She sat patiently on the chair and watched him look at the tea, let out a small sigh as he mumbled something to the effect of, "I don't want tea..."

She ignored his petulant mumbles, "I take it the first day did not go as well as planned."

"No. How can you tell, do you have one of your brain scanner things here!?" Sheldon looked around the room and then grabbed his tea when she wasn't looking. He pulled the warm cup into his afghan and hid it from her. Amy looked back at the spot that housed the missing tea mug and smirked.

"It doesn't take a neuroscientist to see when you are upset. You can be read like a book."

"Well, my book's first chapter is titled, the American education system, dumb idea getting dumber or just a waste of money."

"I prefer more dumb, not dumber, but I see your point."

"I'm glad you do because the knuckle dragging students I had today sure didn't. " Sheldon reached down in his bag and brought out his lecture notes. "I mean, this is brilliant, and if they can't see it, then they need to go back to high school. They'll let anyone in this school, won't they?" Sheldon handed Amy his lecture notes and syllabus. She was well versed in calculus, but this was way over her head. Though she didn't like his slam about letting anyone in the school, she let that slide.

"Maybe this is too high level for them. I mean, this is doctoral level stuff here. What class are you teaching?"

"Physics 91…" He mumbled the next part, "Introduction." He unwrapped the afghan and leaned forward, "They should have a basic knowledge of physics from High School. How can I possibly go back to square one with these morons."

"Well, you can start by not being such a jerk, and go from there."

Sheldon mocked her tone, "What do you know about it?"

"Plenty. I study the brain, and what are you trying to do? Get these students to use their brains. More importantly, give them the knowledge that is locked up in yours! You need to do more Vygotsky and Piaget. Scaffold learning?" Sheldon had a blank expression on his face, rarely seen. Amy shook her head, "Tell me you know this?" Amy rolled her eyes and placed her face in her hands. In fact, Sheldon did not know what she was talking about, but he was certainly not going to admit this to her.

"Of course I know that! However…I'm sure they are very nice, but I don't need to model my style on some bio…"

"I knew you didn't know it! HA! Vygotsky and Piaget were social scientists who had a huge impact on educational theory. For Vygotsky, he developed the idea of the zone of proximal development, which states…" Amy looked at her watch and then shook her head, "Look, you know what, I won't bore you. I had to do a paper on it, I'll send it to you. Point is, Dr. Cooper, you need to scaffold your lessons for your students. None of them are as brilliant as you are, and you need to make sure they know you are going to help them, not belittle them."

Sheldon put his lip out and pouted, "But why should I dumb down my lecture for lesser minds?"

"Because those lesser minds need to know what you do but at their pace. Let me put it this way, do you know how to cook ANYTHING besides meat like chicken?"

"I know the basics… I mean.." His eye was twitching so much he looked like he was going to sneeze.

Amy shook her head and snapped at him, "God, you are the worst liar! Worse than me, and I'm terrible. You can't boil water. Go head, right now, make a soufflé. Go on. You have 20 minutes. Oh and I need it to be chocolate, no wait, cheese." Amy snapped her fingers and pointed to the kitchen.

Sheldon looked in horror at the kitchenette. He really didn't know how to boil water, thank god for the tea kettle whistle. He couldn't cook, unless it was fried, let alone any French food, "But I can't… I don't know what goes into a soufflé, other than now chocolate and cheese. This is ridiculous."

"No, expecting a first year student with no physics knowledge to instinctively know the Dirac equation without any exposure is ridiculous. Do you want to teach or just flaunt your knowledge to inflate your ego? By now, it's big enough believe me!"

Sheldon's offended tone was half hurt, half infuriated. "You're as bad as my students. No respect for my brilliant mind!"

"They don't respect you because you don't respect them. Find the best physics teacher you can think of, and model them. End of lecture." Amy got up and looked at her watch. She had spent 20 minutes of her study time trying to get through the thick head of a child prodigy.

"Dinner is on the stove." Without another word, she stormed off to her room and closed the door.

Sheldon fixed himself a plate, and sat back as he thought about what she had said. He went to his computer to work on his lecture, when his email popped up with a new message. It was from Amy, she had sent her paper on educational psychology. As Sheldon started to read it, he was mesmerized. She was brilliant, her paper was flawless, in writing, grammar, evidence and breath.

Out of curiosity, he went the University server, and found more of her papers plus some she had submitted for peer review. For a first year grad student, she was writing doctoral level work. Even though it was Neuroscience, Sheldon was fascinated. He spent the rest of the night reading anything he could find with her name on it trying to find one flaw so he could throw it back in her smug face, but he couldn't. Finally, he found one typo. He smiled an evil grin, and just as he did, Amy emerged to refill her tea.

"Well, Ms. Fowler, it seems you don't know everything. I found a mistake you made and it seems that horse you are riding so high, needs its reins pulled down…" Sheldon swiveled his chair around, and crossed his arms. Amy just rolled her eyes and came over to the screen. He had found a history paper she written during her freshman year for a Woman's study class. Actually it was called, Womyn studies, and it was taught by a militant feminist. She was 16 at the time and it was her first semester at Harvard. She had 5 classes and had been forced to take some lame-o humanities class to satisfy her requirements.

Sheldon showed her the paper, "See… There… you said penises instead of penises', the plural possessive form of the word."

"What do you care what I think of a man's penis? Are you experiencing penis envy? Is this a length problem, because that is what that sentence was about, you see. Boy that's a switch, a man with penis envy!" Amy snorted and went to the kitchen.

Sheldon covered himself, "NO what? NO! I don't care what you think of penises."

Amy sipped her hot tea and said over her mug lip, "I hope you didn't use an apostrophe in your head when you said that."

Sheldon was so flustered he stuttered, "Of cccourse I didn't. Ttthat's not the point. The point is you're not infallible, Ms. Fowler. You have no business teaching me about things."

"Actually, I do. Since I know what it is like to make a mistake, I have that experience and it makes me a better teacher since I know what to look for in others." Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her smug smile as she continued, "Oh, don't feel bad, you do as well." Amy took her tea mug, headed toward her room and called back over her shoulder, "Check your lecture notes, 3rd page, and 2nd paragraph. You forgot to carry the 1. Tsk tsk. Now you will be a good teacher too! Good luck, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon's jaw dropped. He rushed over to his papers and riffled through them in a panic. Sure enough, he had made an arithmetic mistake, just where she said. He slumped back on the couch and put his hand to his head, "That clever minx! God that woman!" He sat for a few moments catching his breath and glaring at the door she had just disappeared behind. He felt his heart rate rise, and his palms were sweaty. That woman was affecting him, he thought. He had localized vascular throbbing that was unexpected, but was probably due to the mentions of penises' length. He narrowed his eyes again and thought to himself, as if he was speaking to her, " _And yes, Ms. Smarty pants, I used the apostrophe in my head_."

Sheldon went to sleep that night tossing and turning, thinking about Amy's advice. It actually was good advice but she was so infuriating to him, he was reluctant to give her the satisfaction of following it.

As he finally drifted off to sleep, he thought, maybe there was a way to take her advice, and she not know. As he thought about the implications, he reasoned to himself:

"Nah... Not worth it...She smug enough as it is..."

He smiled as he thought back to the papers she had written, with the perfect sentence structure and syntax. He licked his lips as he thought, _she put her comma in all the right places and boy, she does have a large vocabulary_. He spent the next 20 minutes quelling his renewed localized vascular throbbing, then finally fell asleep.

**Chapter 3: Ch 3: Calabi–Yau manifolds and apple pi**

**Chapter 3: Calabi–Yau manifolds and apple pi**

**I wanted to say thank you for your lovely response to the story. I know AU is not for everyone and some of you are still giving a try. It so wonderful to read your reviews. Thanks so much.**

**Posting in the AM for all my European peps... Love you guys.**

**Thanks to my Beta, ShAmy4evr for dealing with my neurotic need for closure.**

The next morning he woke to find Amy humming in the kitchen. The wafting smell of pancakes and bacon drew him from his room before he had even changed into his clothes or put on slippers. She was wearing only her nightdress as well. It was a floor length gown that was buttoned to neck and the wrist, so was modest by any standards. Still, Sheldon knew it was the only thing covering her. He should have turned his eyes away while she bent over in the fridge but the smell of bacon kept him stationary.

Without a hello, Amy started to speak, "I've been thinking of your dilemma. Can you get the university to offer a class in String theory instead of teaching basic physics? Frankly, they are wasting your talents to teach freshman."

Sheldon watched her flip pancakes and move around the kitchen. It was small confined space, hardly 3 feet of room, but she traversed it like a Le Cordon Bleu graduate. Sheldon was awe struck.

"Um.. That would be wonderful, but I was hired to teach Intro physics."

"Who ever made the decision to put you in front of a class of freshman was a bonafide idiot or wanted to punish you for some egregious action. Whatever the reason, I think the lesson was lost and the students are the ones suffering because of it." She handed him a plate with a half-smile.

He furled his brow at her insult but licked his lips for the food. "Hey! I have the kind of mind that comes around only once in a century, they were lucky to get me."

"Exactly and to have a mind like yours being wasted on freshman students whose only thought are where the next keg party is …it's … folly. You need to teach your field, to grad students, older ones."

"But you're a grad student. You're the same age as some of the students I teach."

Amy chucked, "So are you. I am mature for my age. You are… well… just really smart…" Amy cleared her throat and looked back to the bacon. "Your class should be filled with older, more mature students who know a good thing when they see it. Like me!"

Sheldon dropped his fork, "Um… you know a good thing when you see it?" He gulped and watched as she put her hands of her hips, which pulled her gown tight across her waist and breasts. He started to blush and feel his heart rate rise again.

"Oh yes. There is nothing more thrilling than a professor who knows what they are talking about and the bravado to back it up. They bring a passion to the subject that is almost erotic. You know every word off their lips is gold and you're there just to drink it up, like a sweet wine of knowledge that fills your brain with the intoxicating livener of pure science. Oh boy, if I had a professor like that, I wouldn't hesitate. I would open myself up to them and let them fill me up, every pore would be open to them like…" Amy's impassioned speech was interrupted by Sheldon dropping his tea mug on the floor.

"Oh dear, let me help, you don't have slippers on." Amy bent over in front of him, and started to pick up the shards of the cup. He was mesmerized by her actions and her words were still rattling around his head. Sheldon stayed on his bar stool, unable to take his eyes from her backside as it swayed in front of him. She was saying something about talking to the university president and having him create a new class based off Sheldon's reputation, but he wasn't listening. Between her talk of drinking the knowledge of science, getting filled up and her posterior pointed at him like a gun, he had lost all cognitive function.

She turned round and faced him, but was still looking at the floor. Then seeing the last shard of pottery beneath his bar stool, she moved nearer his opened legs and bent to pick it up. He saw the back of her head between his legs and almost let out a whimper. Then she rose up and faced him, with a wide smile.

"You know what I mean? I think they'd love it! They'd be on their knees in front you of begging for knowledge that only you could give them." Amy gave Sheldon a wide innocent smile, unaware of the affect she and her words were was having on him. Sheldon had no understanding of the affect, all he knew was he felt funny. Thankfully for Sheldon, she went back behind the counter and finished up the cooking.

Sheldon wolfed down his breakfast like he was in an eating contest, gave Amy a brief thank you and rushed to the shower. He turned the tap on cold, but his sudden arousal did not abate. He usually woke up with the hardening problem, but lately, it had developed during breakfast, especially when Amy was cooking. Sheldon had yet to find the cause, but he suspected it was something in the East Coast milk making his hormones wonky. He had tried the method he had done for so many mornings: cold water and Kolinhr, but it didn't help. He lamented that he had to submit to self-abuse or he would never be able to face the day.

He grabbed the soap and making his hand slippery with lather, he started at the tip, and gripping around the sensitive rim he worked his hand slowly down to the base. He repeated the action over and over, pulsing harder each time, but he wasn't getting any closer.

Then he heard Amy's voice call out to him and he froze, "Dr. Cooper, don't worry about the mug pieces. I got on my knees and sucked them all up with the hand vacuum. See you later!" Sheldon gulped, all he could hear through the shower was 'knees' 'sucked' and 'hand'. As soon as the door slammed, Sheldon pulsed three more times and he was done in. He leaned against the tile wall and tried to catch his breath in the small chamber. He hoped his voice did not carry through the walls. "I must stop drinking milk..."

After Sheldon recovered from his morning, he dressed and went to the University President's office and presented Amy's idea. The President thought it was a wonderful suggestion. Firstly because he knew he was right, Sheldon had no business teaching 18 year olds with over bearing parents who were ready to call the Board the moment their spoiled baby did not get a good grade. Also, he knew that Sheldon's reputation was a draw, and the class would fill up quickly, even with the late notice.

As it turned out, the President's decision to agree to Sheldon's proposed change of curriculum was right, not only did Sheldon's class fill up with Harvard students, MIT heard he was teaching as well. The numbers increased so much they had to move the class to a large lecture hall, and Sheldon had one week to prepare his new class. He was horrified.

Amy came home one evening to find Sheldon pacing around the room, biting his thumb and mumbling. She immediately went and made him a cup of tea. Sheldon hadn't even noticed that she had returned home till she placed a hand on his shoulder and handed him the tea.

"Oh, Ms. Fowler, you're back. Well, your brilliant plan worked. All too well! I have to teach 150 students! 150! I am going to get trampled! They will rush the stage and maul me!" Sheldon grabbed the tea and continued to pace. "Brought down in my prime! By Yankees! Oh, PopPop would be mortified!"

Amy flatted her mouth and frowned in thought. She knew he was one step close to a break down and she should know. The first time she had had to go to classroom at the age of 16, she was terrified and she wasn't even the professor. She knew what to do.

"Where is the class?"

Sheldon barely looked at her, "Jefferson Hall, of course. What's the difference…IT'S HUGE!"

"Do you have the keys?"

"Of course, but what does that have to do.."

"Let's go. Come on. Grab your notes." Amy turned on a dime and headed out the door, she turned back when he wasn't following her, "COME ON!" Sheldon grabbed his bag and followed her.

She said nothing as she crossed the campus. When they got there, she turned to him, "How long did that take to get here?"

"6 minutes 45 seconds."

"Calculate it as if there were crowds, and the cross walk took twice the time." Amy watched his eyes dart around and answer quickly, "11 minutes 33 seconds."

Amy gave in a half smile and bit her lip, "Now you know how long it will take you if you are ever late. You will never have to worry about that."

Sheldon snorted and defensively answered, "I'm never late."

"Plan for the unexpected. Now, open the door." Sheldon opened the door and Amy walked in. She flicked on the lights and saw she was at the top of the lecture hall with stadium seating. At the bottom was a small area lined with large green chalk boards. They had scribble on them from previous classes. She looked around the room and noticed a door the bottom of the lecture hall that led directly to the stage. "No. Open that door." Amy turned around flicked off the light, and left the room. Sheldon was confused but followed her after he locked the door at the top of the hall.

They found their way to the second level below. It was a non-descript hall way, and smelled like it had hardly been used in years. However, it had the entrance to the door for Jefferson Hall 73. Sheldon opened it and flicked on the light switch.

Amy entered the room after him, and pointing to the top door said "Never use that door. That is for students, you are the professor. Use this door. They don't need to see you walking down to them, they need expect you, like a stage act. Do not enter the room until right before the class, less banal chit chat. "Amy walked onto the stage and looked at the first row of seats. She turned to Sheldon and rattled off her suggestions that sounded more like a prescription.

"Put a sign on these desks saying they are broken and do not let them sit there."

"What if they do?"

"Tell them to get out, and hand them an orange card to drop the class." Amy turned around and looked at the large chalk board. "Do not let them see your work right away, they won't listen to you and instead copy your work without explanation. Write out what you want, but use the sliding chalk board to hide it. Reveal it only when necessary, as if you were undressing a woman to make love to her. They will hang on your every word, just waiting for the next tantalizing taste of your brilliance. "

"Dr. Fowler, you make science sound kinda naughty!" Sheldon felt that blush again.

"Not naughty, sexy. And sex sells. Look at Feynman. Not only was he brilliant, but one sexy man! Oh my, he looked like Neil Diamond!" Amy fanned herself and gave an odd smile that Sheldon memorized.

Sheldon gulped as he watched Amy's face redden, "You think Feynman is sexy?"

"Sure, but he was also a sexist jerk. The point is science is sexy, make sure your brilliance will have them begging for more." Amy looked at Sheldon's wide eyes. He was leaning against the desk his arms behind him. Amy noticed how his button down shirt tightened across his chest. She drew in a quick breath and turned around quickly, "Now, back to business. You need to prepare for your lecture in here. Not at home."

"Why, how do you know all of this? Have you taught before?"

"No, but I was so nervous for my first exam for advanced anatomy and physiology I couldn't sleep. I am usually prepared for tests, but that one was a killer. It was a weeder class, so they made it extra difficult."

"Oh Amy, I've seen your work, there is no class you couldn't master." Sheldon smiled and then cleared his throat when he saw Amy blush at his compliment. He misspoke and used her first name, but she continued and didn't make a big deal about it. It was an unspoken rule between them that they would address each other with titles, not first names. Sheldon had slipped up many times, but Amy had never used his first name.

"I was supposed to go to a lecture hall I had never been to before. It looked a lot like this. So I acclimated myself to it. I broke into the room, and studied there, so when the time of the test came I would remember. I drank a specific tea that I only drank when I studied for that class, then I had the same tea on test day as well to trigger my olfactory memories."

"How did you do? Did you pass?"

Amy snorted at the question, "PASS? Please, I aced it! It was the fear, not the test that was crippling me. I just found a way around it." Amy walked over to Sheldon, and tipped her head back to meet his eyes, "You are one of the brightest minds in a generation. You know more about this subject than anyone needs to know, you just need to be comfortable enough to do it. You'll be fine." Amy smiled and headed up the lecture hall. Sheldon started to follow her, but she turned around and scolded him, "Ah ah ah, this exit is for students, not professors. Know your place, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon smiled, "Yes, Ms. Fowler."

"Oh, and you aren't leaving till you get that vixen of science up on that board so you can reveal her to the world. You have a long night ahead of you! Enjoy it!" Amy winked at him and left through the door at the top of lecture hall.

Sheldon smiled and looked around the room that he would be commanding in less than a week, "Vixen indeed."

After a few hours, Sheldon had not only prepared for his lecture for next week, but for the few weeks after. He was just about to practice his lecture voice when a poor unsuspecting security guard entered the room. Sheldon pleaded with the huge muscular man, by the name of Felix, to listen to the first lecture. The unfortunate Felix did not know that Sheldon's lectures were usually 2 hours long, however after the first hour Felix asked him how long it was going to take, but he also asked him about the Dirichlet boundary condition which imposes a condition on the D Brane field of String theory and about Calabi–Yau manifold and it's relation to mirror symmetry.

It turned out that Felix was an adjunct professor of pure mathematics. He was only doing this security guard gig because his wife was pregnant and it was the only way he could get healthcare. Sheldon and he spent most of the night speaking only in math terms which to an outside observer would have been gibberish. Sheldon stumbled home around 2:00 AM, exhausted, but thrilled. It was the first time he had had such a huge smile on his face it hurt. Amy heard him enter and came out of her room to check on him.

"Dr. Cooper, are you okay? I was worried about you out so late." Amy's hair was tussled around her face in waves and she didn't have her glasses on so Sheldon could see her face. She was almost angelic as the light from her room illuminated her nightgown from behind making it virtually transparent. Amy walked to the kitchen bar and almost stumbled over the bar stool when she was rubbing her eyes. Sheldon jumped over to her and held her arm, led her back to bed but stopped short at her door.

"Everything is great, Ms. Fowler. Go back to sleep."

Amy let out a huge sigh and smile, "Okay… Oh I made you an apple pie, it's in the fridge." Amy tried to stifle her yawn, "You know, Newton and all that. Good night."

Sheldon watched her enter her room and close the door. He went straight to the fridge and found the apple pie, took a huge slice and wolfed it down while Amy's words stuck in his mind: She was worried about him. There was something so comforting to come home to a person who was genuinely happy to see you. Sheldon let out his own yawn and headed to bed, drifting off to sleep while dreaming of Calabi–Yau manifolds and apple pies.

**Chapter 4: Ch 4: groupies and MIT plumbers**

**Chapter 4: Groupies and MIT Plumbers**

The next few weeks flew by in a hazy dream for the young roommates. It took all of three days of bickering for Amy and Sheldon to work out each other's routines. After those first heated debates, they were like a well-oiled machine working in unison. The apartment was ALWAYS spotless, and Sheldon enjoyed Amy's cooking every night, even the nights she would study, she made his dinner. They had scheduled game nights and Sheldon accompanied Amy to the zoo and store with a childlike enthusiasm that never wavered, even when they were surrounded by children at the zoo.

Sheldon was becoming something of a rock star on campus. There was almost a cult following to his classes. Amy would sometimes see a few men and quite a few women following him around the yard trying to get his attention. Usually, he would just rush off, ignoring their calls.

One afternoon on her way to class, Amy observed a tall woman with following auburn hair come up to Sheldon, vying for his attention during lunch. He didn't look up for his book, but that didn't slow down the woman, or hinder her enthusiasm. Amy was on the other side of the yard, so she couldn't hear the conversation. About 10 minutes later, the red hair goddess left and Amy walked up to Sheldon to say hello; she thought it was only polite to do so. She didn't notice the pulsing vein in her own forehead.

"Fancy seeing you here, Dr. Cooper." Amy sat down next to Sheldon who had still his nose in a book. As soon as he heard Amy's voice, he smiled and placed the book down.

"Ms. Fowler. I am glad to see you. I have to inform you that you are released from the obligation of cooking tonight. I will be having dinner brought over to us." Sheldon seemed pleased with himself and didn't notice Amy's face turn pale.

Amy swallowed, "Oh… really? By whom?" She finally did feel the pulsing vein in her head and it was throbbing. She put her hand on her forehead to hide the vein.

Sheldon sat back and put his hands behind his head, as he stretched out his legs, "Some grad student. She couldn't get into my class, so she wants to discuss my latest lecture over pizza. She said she would bring it to the apartment."

Amy swallowed and said carefully, not to show too much emotion, "Dr. Cooper. What happened to our rule about not bringing girls over to the apartment?" Amy face was turning from pale white to a raging red each second that passed.

"She's not a romantic interest, she's a just grad student. I would never have a romantic interest in her. That would be… unfathomable."

"Well, I bet she is fathoming it right now. You have a lot to learn about women, Dr. Cooper. I hope you are ready. Oh, I have a large box of condoms in the cabinet next to the bookcase." Amy rose off her seat to leave, but Sheldon's screeching voice stopped her.

"CONDOMS?" Sheldon voice raised so high, it cracked. He looked around at the people overhearing his dismay. He lowered his voice and whispered to Amy, "First off, there will be no need of condoms! Next, why.. um… do you… have such a thing? And why a large box…" Sheldon's face turned pale white as each second passed and she didn't answer.

"The Greek fraternities hand those things out like candy during rush week. They are great for transporting liquid, like formaldehyde and such. Also, I was going to have a water balloon fight with the geology students, but they crapped out. I didn't have anyone on my team anyway. There should be about 50 or so in there. Have a great date night, I am going to study in the library." Amy turned to walk away, but Sheldon placed his hand on her arm for a brief moment to stop her. She looked at it like he had just touched her with botulism. Sheldon snapped his hand back and looked up like a lost puppy.

Sheldon looked down, and said out loud, "It seems I am out of my depth with the social convention for this situation…" He rose his face up to Amy and whined, "I thought you'd be home tonight? Weren't we going to play our new game?"

"Yes, but now _you_ have a date. I really don't want to see that." Amy caught herself, "Um…you'll be um… getting your freak on."

"Freak on? I have no freak article of clothing to be putting on?" Sheldon could be so confused by her phraseology sometimes. Sheldon noted she was wringing her hands and didn't look at him when she spoke.

Amy said quietly, "She will be doting on your every word and inflating your…" Amy looked down at Sheldon's pants, "um… ego, and you're hard enough to live with now. Good day, Dr. Cooper."

Amy walked toward the neurology building at a frenzied pace till she got to the door, only stopping to catch her breath when she was safely behind it. She leaned against the wall, and held her books to her chest.

_Why do you care? He can do what he wants. He's only a roommate. He'll be gone at the end of the summer away. He is not worth getting distracted about. Focus, Fowler. Doctorate before the age of 23, remember?_

Her mind was swimming in doubts and she almost drowned in her own thoughts before she felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her out of her haze.

She turned her head and saw Sheldon standing in front of her. He looked confused and almost hurt, "Amy… I mean Ms. Fowler. I don't want to miss our new game. I certainly don't want a date with some grad student. I will tell that person it is not a good time when she comes. Can we still play or do you have to study?" Sheldon's blue eyes were almost glowing under the florescent lighting in the hall.

Amy stumbled over her words, but her face lit up with delight, "You sstill want to have our game night date?"

"Of course! I hate change, Am.. Ms. Fowler."

Amy smiled and raised one eye brow to Sheldon, "Just to clarify, I am a grad student."

Sheldon smiled, "Oh, your much more than that, Ms. Fowler." He took in a quick breath and stopped his staring, "I… um mean… you're degree is a foregone conclusion and soon you will be _Dr. Fowler_... So, will you be home?"

Amy caught a ragged breath in her throat and said in a murmur, "Sure, Dr. Cooper. I will come home."

Sheldon smiled, "Good." He licked in his bottom lip and then said, "See you at home." He smiled at little wider at the word home.

Later that night, the buxom red head came to Sheldon's door wearing a low cut blouse and far too much perfume. She had applied make up that either a clown or a stripper would envy. She wore a huge smile that dropped quickly when it was Amy who answered the door.

"Hello… Is um… Dr. Cooper here?" The red head tried to look inside the door, but Amy blocked her view.

"Yes, but he is taking a shower." Amy's eyes darted around.

"A SHOWER?" The gorgeous redhead looked Amy up and down and then with a snarky tone, said, "So, what are you, the maid?"

"No. I live with him. I can pop in the shower and ask him to see you, if you want?" Amy blinked a few times and smiled sweetly.

"Pop in his shower? Oh never mind." The girl slumped so much she almost dropped the pizza.

Amy caught the box and then grinned widely, "I will tell him you stopped by, oh and thanks for the pizza. He said you would bring it!" Amy took the pizza and closed the door on the gob smacked grad student and walked to the kitchen. Sheldon emerged from his room, drying his hair.

"Was that the grad student?" Sheldon swallowed and looked toward the closed door.

Amy stepped away from the kitchen counter, back to the door, "Yes. I told her you were busy, if that is okay?"

Sheldon let out a large sigh and smiled. Amy asked, "Do you want me to get her back?"

Sheldon had already forgotten the eager grad student and was completely focused on Amy, "No. So, I'll start the game… In a world where chap stick is food, not a lip balm, what do people eat for breakfast?"

Amy smiled and handed him a slice of free pizza, "Oh, you are making it too easy, Dr. Cooper."

One afternoon, Sheldon returned to the apartment with his purchases from the local book store. He was listening to Feymann lectures on his MP3 players, blissfully repeating his favorite parts. He entered the apartment, which seemed empty. He was thankful, because a person at the bookstore had been sniffling and sneezing a little too close to him and he wanted to take a cleansing shower before his class.

Amy should have been home, but he didn't see her. He removed his clothes, but kept his player on while he wrapped the towel around his waist. The volume of the lecture was so high, he didn't hear his shower running, nor the shower curtain pulling back. The only thing that made him aware that Amy Farrah Fowler was in **his** shower, was the view of her naked wet dripping body and gaping mouth as she stared at him. He was also unaware his towel had slowly fallen down off his hips to a puddle on the floor. They both were frozen, staring at each other for almost 15 long seconds before Amy let out a yelp and slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Dr. COOPER! What are you doing?"

Sheldon ripped off his headphones, grappled with his robe after realizing that the towel was not good enough, "Trying to use my shower! What are you doing?" Sheldon took a deep swallow as he thought back to her body, "Naked… in my shower?"

Amy bellowed through the closed bathroom door, "Well, I wouldn't take a shower with my clothes on, would I?" Amy tried to find her robe and put it on.

"More to the point, what are you doing in **my** shower?"

Amy swung open the door before Sheldon had a chance to close his robe, "Did you not see my note? My shower is broken! You knew that this morning when I asked you to help me fix it, and you said, now let me see if I got this right… 'if you need a plumber get the guys at MIT to help you!"

Sheldon gulped and looked away, "I vaguely remember something about that…" He looked down at her conservative robe and gulped. She was still wet, and the robe stuck to her like glue.

Amy rolled her eyes, "I left it taped on your door." Amy stomped over the door and pulled a very large note off the wood. She handed it to Sheldon, who looked at it as if was written in Swahili.

"Well! You could've warned me!" Sheldon tried to wrap his robe again, and tied the sash tighter.

"Ugh! You are impossible! I did warn you. It was an emergency! I got sprayed with some spinal fluid when I cut into…"

"Okay! That's enough of that! I don't need to hear about your Frankenstein procedures, little lady! There better not be grey matter all over my shower floor! Oh lordy, I'll have disinfect everything again and it's not even Wednesday!"

"Oh brother, you are so squeamish." Amy stormed out of the room, marched over to her room and slammed the door, but not before she took one more look at Sheldon's legs.

Sheldon went into his shower and took a deep breath. He could close his eyes and still see her standing there, water dripping down her neck to her breasts. She had curvaceous hips and a faint trail of peach fuzz from her belly button to the apex of her thighs. The water had made her long hair plaster to the curves around her small pert breasts and her body glisten. He tried to shake off the alluring image and started a rather cold shower. Amy had left behind a bottle of shampoo with a picture of a small orange on it. Sheldon flipped open the top and took a long whiff of the scent that had driven him crazy for a month. He finally knew: Clementine.

Sheldon stepped into the shower, and took an extra-long time washing every part of his body. He again giving into self-abuse, even though he knew it was 6 days ahead of schedule. Lately, the timing of his self-abuse sessions seemed to be accelerated. With the shock of Amy's naked form in his shower, and the extensive use of lather, he was almost late for his class. He dressed quickly, and looked at his watch as he rushed out his door. Amy was drinking tea behind the kitchen counter with a smirk on her face. She knew he could get to class on time, she made him calculate it.

"13 minutes. Just enough time to get to class, huh Dr. Cooper?" Amy handed him a mug of tea that he was able to enjoy for the one minute 27 seconds before rushing out of the door. Amy watched him leave with a blushing smile while she sniffed the air of all scent of talc that was left behind.

The next few weeks were as pleasant as the first between the roommates. It was fast approaching the 4th of July holiday and Amy and Sheldon had plans to visit the Boston Harbor. They weren't going for the traditional fireworks, Sheldon found them to be too loud and scary. Instead, the couple wanted to visit all the historic sites and point out the inaccuracies to tourists. It was a fun filled afternoon of dirty looks and haughty replies.

Sheldon was having a lovely time, and even the trip to the bay wasn't unpleasant. At one point Amy was facing the bay and the breeze was blowing her hair back. It had grown quite long, almost past her waist. She had intended to get it cut, but kept putting it off after Sheldon had made an off handed comment about how she looked like Lady Godiva and had given her a strange wistful look.

As the gentle breeze brushed through her russet hair, Sheldon thought it looked like an unfurling flag caught by a gust of wind. He snapped a picture of her on his digital camera, unbeknownst to her.

The couple came back to the Harvard with just enough time to avoid the crowds gathering for the fireworks and frivolity. They spent the evening indoors, discussing American history, flags and eating Yankee pot roast with cherry pie.

**Chapter 5: Ch 5: Onion dip with Dihydrogen Monoxide**

**Chapter 5: Onion dip with a little dash of dihydrogen monoxide**

The next week, something happened that dramatically changed Sheldon's relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler. It was a warm Friday afternoon. Sheldon was just starting to his last class of the week when he saw Amy across the yard. Sheldon watched her walk toward her Friday class, and was about to approach her to confirm that she would be taking him to the local comic book store that evening. However, Sheldon stopped when a young man advanced toward Amy. He was tall, like Sheldon, with sandy brown hair, bulging muscles and preppy clothes that looked like he spent far too much money on them with no account for taste. Sheldon could see Amy blush when the young man spoke to her. She then nodded her head, and the boy touched her arm for a moment and walked toward a group of his friends who were all snickering at the interaction. Amy continued on to her class, unaware of her audience.

Later that evening, Sheldon came home to find Amy, not in the kitchen preparing spaghetti like she did every Friday, but in her room. He could hear her humming and some kind of music on the radio, he wasn't sure what it was. Sheldon knocked on her door, "Ms. Fowler?"

Amy bounced out of the room like her legs were made of springs, "Oh, Dr. Cooper! Guess what!? I've been invited to a party! Do you believe it!? My first ever college party! Oh I'm so excited! It starts at 7:00. It might be warm enough tonight that I could go with only one cardigan! HOW BOLD!"

"A party?"

"Yes!" Amy spun around, and showed off her dress, a corduroy maroon dress with a pink blouse underneath, "Do you think this dress is okay, maybe I should wear the flowered one, oh wait the one with the buttons down the front!"

Amy didn't give Sheldon a chance to answer before she returned to her room. Sheldon was too stunned to say a word till she came out again, "I think I should wear these shoes. I think they say, hey, I'm fun, and can still out dance the crap outta you! I wonder if they will have dancing? Should I bring my travel twister set? Should I bring a snack? Maybe some onion dip! Everyone loves onion dip!" Amy spoke faster than a hamster hopped up on speed.

"Am… I mean… Ms. Fowler… When did this happen? I thought we were going to go the comic book store tonight."

"I'll take you tomorrow night!" Amy's head was in the fridge looking for sour cream.

"But, the new comics come out tonight." Sheldon's voice was trembling.

Amy sounded like a teenage girl whose father had just told her she couldn't go out, "But, Dr. Cooper, I've never been invited to a Frat party before!" Amy even stomped her feet for added effect.

Sheldon was indifferent to her enthusiasm and almost screeched, "A Frat party?! That's just the type of folk who don't know the meaning of studying or even Greek, which is irony on a stick, if you ask me! I talked to one of them during my first week here, they are not the brightest bulbs in the lighthouse, AMY!" Sheldon added quickly, "Are you going on a date with that boy I saw you with today?" Sheldon's voice trembled again, and he could feel the vein pulsing in his neck. The irony was that that the 'boy' was older than Sheldon.

Amy almost dropped her sour cream. She was making onion dip after all, and trying not to listen to Sheldon, "Were you spying on me?"

"No, I just saw you with some ne'er-do-well, and I was concerned. Fraternity boys are notorious for not treating women with respect, Amy. Now forget this silly need to fraternize with fraternity boys and let's go to the comic book store!" Sheldon snapped his fingers and in a sweeping motion pointed to the door while he held the vein on his forehead that was now pulsing worse than the one on the neck.

"Not treating women with respect?! You should know, Mr. Snappy! I am going, so you can find your own way to your little boy store. I will be with the adults!" Amy finished up the onion dip, stirring the mix more vigorously than was needed. Sheldon's eyes were on her like lasers as he bellowed his response like a constitutional lawyer at the Supreme Court.

"The Roommate agreement states that all cooking will be done by **you** , and I do all the cleaning. So, where is the spaghetti, huh, Ms. Party girl?"

"It states I will cook, not **what** I will cook. I made you a sandwich. Here." Amy placed a cold sandwich on the counter," I am not a party girl! This is one party! I never go out, I never do anything fun!"

"What do you call what we do? Isn't that fun!?" Sheldon pushed the sandwich aside with a scowl.

"Yes, but I want friends! I want to feel wanted! Not just because I am a convenient ride to a picture book store." She pushed the sandwich back to him.

"You are just giving into your overwhelming need to feel wanted because you are a girl and have bought into the paradigm that you need friends to be a "real" person. Well, you're real without them. Look at me! I don't have friends! NONE! Not **one** in the whole world, and I do just fine, thank you!" Sheldon crossed his arms and turned around on the bar stool.

Amy didn't say a word, and headed toward her room. She slammed the door as Sheldon was calling out, "This is the worst looking sandwich…" She turned up her radio.

"I'm NOT CLEANING UP THAT ONION DIP MESS!"

Amy called back to him, "YOU'D PROBABLY LEAVE SPOTS ON THE BOWL, ANYWAY!"

_Loud music, dates, no comic book store_? Sheldon was enraged. He stormed out of the house and headed straight to the faculty employment office. It was 4:45 and the office was soon to be closed. Just as the window was about to go down, Sheldon placed his hand on it to stop it. He pulled up the metal grate and seated at the little reception desk was Mildred.

"I thought you worked at housing and then at facilities?" Sheldon had seen Mildred a few times as he "requested" numerous items be changed in his classroom. Everything from the color of the third seat in the 5th row, because it was more dove gray, then steel gray to the chalk being less gritty. Mildred had asked him how it was it was going with Amy Farrah Fowler on one of his numerous trips to complain, and she could see his face start to glow as he spoke of her. Now Mildred saw his face glowing again, but from sweat and anger, rather than admiration.

"I move around a lot! What is it now, Dr. Coopa? I am not going to get you a new paper towel dispensa for the restroom in Johnson hall! Forget it." Mildred had her purse on her shoulder ready to leave. She had been dying for a cigarette all day and seeing Dr. Cooper made her crave one even more.

Sheldon jutted out his jaw, "No…. I want to go home. Send me back to Caltech."

Mildred slumped back on her chair and took off her purse, "I can't do that honey, I'm sorry. You need to finish the semester. You have a contract. What happened? Did the kids throw things at you again? Did the spit ball not miss this time?"

"Noooo." Sheldon sneered at Mildred. He was way past the point of dealing with freshman, or was he? That boy who asked out Ms. Fowler looked like an 18 snot nose brat, he thought. Of course he was a 6'4 snot nose brat, but still, young. Far too young to be canoodling with Amy Farrah Fowler, Sheldon reasoned.

Sheldon ratted on, "The new class is great. Best class ever. There are no Frat Boys there, just students willing to put their baser urges aside for higher learning. Real grad students, not those who pretend to be interested in science but really just want to go to stupid parties." Sheldon lip quivered as he tried to pull it in his mouth. Mildred knew in an instant, this had nothing to do with school.

Mildred shook her head and a gentle half smile appeared on her tired face, "Where is she going?"

Sheldon tried to look shocked, but he knew this woman could see through any ruse, "A fraternity party. She was all of a flutter that they were nice enough to invite her."

"Why don't you go with her? She could use an escort. I heard those parties can get pretty rough."

"Amy doesn't.. I mean Ms. Fowler doesn't need an escort, she needs to stay home, with m … She needs to be home, that's all."

Mildred grabbed her purse, "Come walk me to my car, Dr. Coopa. Let's talk."

Mildred locked up and as soon as she left the building, she lit up her cigarette. Sheldon fanned the smoke away, but he was used to the smell. His mother used to smoke in the car, but he had been told he could never tell his daddy or Meamaw. To this day he doubted Jesus was okay with it because of the bad smell. They walked toward the staff parking as Mildred spoke kindly to Sheldon.

"Hon, you are top of your field, and pretty smart, but you are still a young man. Did it ever occur to you that you might just have feelings for Ms. Fowler?" Mildred took a long drag off her cigarette and cocked her head to the side.

"Nonsense. My feelings for Ms. Fowler are purely conditional upon our living arrangement, nothing more. She is a convenience during my short time in this over privileged purgatory. Sure, we have been doing a lot of things together." Sheldon scuffed his feet against the pavement, not wanting to meet Mildred's eyes.

Mildred cut off his denial and asked him, "Like whatcha benn doin', sweetie?"

"Well, we go to the zoo. We play games." Sheldon smiled while looking out in a dream, "She does this humming thing when she is cooking. One time I was cleaning, and matched it with the dust mop. Before we knew it, we were tapping out the tune to Clair de Lune. Which is funny not only because it was full moon, but because I am can play it on piano. I couldn't believe it, but she pulled out her harp and played it perfectly. She has now moved the harp into the living room and every other Wednesday, when I am not playing Warcraft II, she plays the harp." Sheldon get out a chuckle, "And even sometimes when I am playing Warcraft II. Clair De Lune on the harp is actually good background music for killing Orcs, you'd be surprised!"

Mildred smiled, "Oh, I'm not surprised. What I am surprised is that you don't realize, what you just described is what friends do, sweetie. They spend time together, enjoy each other's company and care about each other. You and Ms. Fowler have become friends. Like it or not."

Sheldon scuffed his feet, "Well, maybe. I've never had a friend before, so I have no frame of reference. Neither has Amy."

"Well, I've had lots of friends, and the best friends are the ones who grow with you. They don't criticize you for changing, they support you. You two are so young, change is inevitable."

"I am not changing, and haven't for years! I'm the same person that went off to college."

"Um hon... Didn't you go when you were like.. 11 or something?"

"Yeah.. so?"

Oh dear, Mildred thought, this boy is thick. "Maybe that's the problem, sweetie. You are a young man now, not a boy. You don't have to prove anything anymore like you did back then. You can just be yourself." Mildred took another long drag off her cigarette and blew it out. She knew she was almost reaching him, but he was so stubborn, it would take more than one conversation to reach this one. Mildred leaned in and caught Sheldon's gaze, "Sweetie, are you upset because you think Ms. Fowler will change, or because if she does change, she might not want to be your friend anymore?"

Sheldon chewed on his inner cheek and didn't answer. He didn't know, but he hated both options. If he was ready to admit he actually could have a friend, he didn't like the idea of losing her. He couldn't even think about the end of summer, when he would lose her for good. Thinking back to the happiest moments he had ever experienced, she is right there in the memory, smiling at him. Maybe that is why he wanted to leave, he thought so that he could avoid the pain of losing her. It was going to happen eventually, so why not just pull the Band-Aid off and get it over with quickly.

Mildred took another long drag off her Pall Mall, "You said you never had friends?"

"No, I never needed them." Sheldon snorted the next words like a dragon, "And I certainly don't need them now."

Mildred put out her cigarette and looked up at Sheldon, "All those years, and no friends? This girl must be pretty special to get through that thick armor. You must have found a kindred spirit. Sounds like that's worth fighting for, if ya ask me." Mildred gave Sheldon a quick tap on his shoulder, "See ya later Dr. Coopa. And don't even botha to ask if I got the paper towel dispensa in the men's bath. The answer is no!"

Sheldon whined at her as she shook her head, "Oh come on! What do you charge for tuition here and you have those roll out paper towels?"

"Hey! At least it's not those damn blower things."

"True. I guess I should be thankful for what I have." Sheldon looked at Mildred who raised her eyes at his obvious statement. He knew he had been had.

"Yes, and I might add, don't throw it away so easily." Mildred smiled and climbed into her 1974 Cadillac deVille. Sheldon watched her pull away as he looked back over Harvard's court yard. He walked to the bench that had become his favorite spot during the summer and ruminated over what he should do about Amy, if anything.

She was unique, as unique as he. She had helped him get the class changed and deal with the influx of students. She had got rid of the pesky grad student who he found out later, had no intention of just talking science with him. Amy saved him from that embarrassment and so much more. She always helped him with his tie and help him get ready for his class. He remembered how she was always so fixated on his tie and the smile she wore as she straightened it each time he went to class. He loved that slight smile she had when she helped him, or gave him dinner. He loved watching her write her name when she was on the phone with her mother. She had the best handwriting when she practice writing **Dr**. Amy Farrah Fowler. She had pages of it in the notebook by the phone along with doodles of monkeys and neurons. She always took him to zoo, let him chose the path they would take, and sometimes if the Koala's were not available she would buy him a churro to make up for it. She really was a good friend to him, in fact, she was his best friend. If she wanted to go to some silly party, Sheldon shouldn't stand in her way, he should let her go have her fun, even though it sounded horrid to Sheldon. That's what friends do.

Just as he was about to leave, he ran into Felix doing his rounds. "Hey! Dr. Cooper! What's you doing out here so late?"

"Oh, just overthinking a problem." Sheldon ran his hands over his dark hair and let out a woeful sigh.

Felix snorted, "Sounds like a woman to me."

"How could you know that?"

"You got that look, ya know. What's gonna on?"

"My roommate, Ms. Fowler, is going to some Frat Party tonight. I thought she was above such silliness, but I guess that year between our ages really accounts for a dearth of maturity. However, it's been pointed out to me that I need to be a good friend and let her go have her fun."

Felix narrowed his eyes and asked with a disquieting tone, "Please tell me it's not Sigma Chi?"

"I have no idea, but the wastrel who invited her wore those letters, yes. Not that the Neanderthal could probably read them, anyway."

"Oh man, that's not good. Those kids are bad news. They have no intention of being nice to Ms. Fowler. They have a contest to see how many girls they can get to go to the party. The one with the most girls wins. I've heard… Well.. I shouldn't say…" Felix looked around to see if anyone was listening to him. He had been in trouble before for calling out those Frat boys, but the powers that be protected them and told Felix to stay quiet if he liked his job.

Sheldon leaned forward, "Shouldn't say what?"

"They get those girls drunk and the one who sleeps with the most, gets crowned king for the day. Then they threaten to put the pictures all over the campus if the girls talk. We haven't been able to catch them because the girl's don't talk to the police. Are you sure the party is tonight? It's a hush hush thing."

"Yes. Am.. I mean Ms. Fowler said it was at 7:00 PM." Sheldon looked rather pale, "Do you think she could be in some kind of danger? Amy would never. I mean, Ms. Fowler doesn't drink, not even a drop. She would never imbibe because tomorrow is a power study day. Amy would never…" Sheldon darted around and he began to breathe heavily. He shouldn't worry, but Amy might succumb to social convention and drink at the party. That's what one does at such parties, Sheldon found that out early in his youth. His roommate would come home from Frat parties all the time drunk as a skunk, reeking of cheap perfume and cheaper whisky despite Sheldon's protests that if he wanted that scene, he would have stayed home with his father.

Felix didn't want to worry Sheldon, but he was concerned and it showed clearly on his face. Sheldon was now very worried indeed. He looked at his watch, it was 8:30. He had been out on the bench for over 4 hours thinking of Amy, and he hadn't even noticed the time.

Was it too late, he worried. Sheldon needed to make sure that Amy was ok. A burning sense of panic over took him as he rushed toward the Greek House. Sheldon finally found the correct Frat house with Felix's help. He was apprehensive about approaching the door, but having Felix by his side made it easier.

A young man with blood shot eyes opened the door. "Dude! It's the rent a cop, man! Oh… and nerd patrol!" The boy pulled Sheldon into the house, "Come on, man. I got a game that you'd be great at. It's called spin the nerd, you can be like the bottle man!"

Sheldon pushed the drunken kid's hands off him, "Listen up, junior. I am here for Amy Farrah Fowler, where is she?"

"Junior!? Dude, you are like younger than me!" The young man fell back into a wheel barrow that was being used to hold cans of beer with ice. The young man was so drunk, he just giggled and almost dropped his bong.

Sheldon ignored him and started searching room by room for Amy. Most of the rooms were filled with party goers drinking and smoking from plastic tubes. Sheldon didn't want to know what they were doing. He found a room with large piles of coats and jackets on the bed. He was just about to leave, when he heard a familiar giggle coming from the mound.

Sheldon pulled all the coats away to find Amy, passed out wearing a few Fraternity sweatshirts that she hadn't been wearing before she left. Sheldon put his arms around her waist and pulled her off the bed.

Amy eyes popped open, "Shhh… someone's pooping on a party in here!"

"Amy, have you been drinking?"

"NO! no… no… I asked for a virgin Cuba Libre… The boy said there were no virgins here. I begged to differ, but he gave some diet coke anyway. It tasted funny..Don't tell my roommate though… He'll be cross and think less of me..."

"Yes, he will be cross but not at you, and never could he think less of you, Amy. " Sheldon brushed her hair off her face slightly, "I just worry about you."

"He's my only friend." Amy let out a huge sigh, "I wish he knew…" Amy passed out on the bed without finishing her thought. Sheldon tried to wake her, so that he could walk her out of the dark room, but to no avail. He thought about carrying her, but the walk back to the Graduate dorm was long.

Instead he went to the front room, to the same kid in the wheel barrow. There were a few burly Frat boys guarding the wheel barrow, but that did not deter Sheldon.

Sheldon put his hands behind his back and lowered his tone to professorial mode, "Excuse me… I need to tell you about a very serious health problem."

The three large men looked at Sheldon and let out a laugh, "Umm… What is it, lost your way to the Star Wars Convention?"

"No." Sheldon looked around, and then with the deepest voice he could muster said in a commanding tone, "You have a lethal level of dihydrogen monoxide in this house."

"That the hell is that?"

"DHMO Is a colorless, odorless chemical compound that has been known to cause server burns in its gaseous state, Are you aware that even a small ingestion of dihydrogen monoxide can be fatal?"

"What? What do you mean? Where is it?" The three guys looked around. One even sniffed the air.

One of the boys hit the other, "Stupid! He just said it was odorless! Idiot!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes and he shook his head, "You have a large concentration here. Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage. Your friend here is in mortal danger." Sheldon pointed to the boy in the iced up wheel barrow with the bong in his hand.

The three men started to panic, "Dude! Fix it, that's the president's kid! He'll get us all kicked out!"

Sheldon shrugged his shoulders, "Okay!" While Sheldon went to the wheel barrow, Felix took out his camera, and snapped a picture of the kid. Sheldon then lifted the wheel barrow and dumped the drunken kid, beers, ice and the bong he was holding all over the floor of the Frat house. Without another word, he pushed the wheel back to Amy, picked her up and put her in.

As he wheeled her out of the Frat Party, the three guys were looking around for anything on the guy that would say toxic chemicals. "Dude! Where is that DMHO Stuff?"

Sheldon smiled, "That's DHMO, and it's melting around your feet. Good day gentlemen." Sheldon took Amy, and left the house. The three men looked at each other and were about to go after Sheldon when Felix blocked their way with a smile and his hand on his bully club.

Felix printed the picture of the prodigal son and sent the picture to the University President with the caption, "Your son likes to post girl's pictures in compromising positions. Next time he does, this goes up too." It was the best he could do and keep his job, but it was enough.

Sheldon got Amy back to the apartment, and carried her fireman's style up the stairs. As soon as he entered the apartment, he had a quandary. Boys were not allowed in Amy Farrah Fowler's room, ergo how could Sheldon put her to bed. Instead he put her on the couch. Hating to see those Frat boy's shirts on her he carefully removed them and tried to made her comfortable. However he was worried she would get sick and choke, so he sat in his spot, and let Amy lean on him as she continued to sleep.

Around 2:00 AM, Amy mumbled something and woke Sheldon up. They were lying on the couch together. Sheldon couldn't believe that he had slept sitting up, let alone with his arms around his roommate. Amy was just as shocked when she blinked her eyes open.

"Dr… Cooper… What is going on?"

"Well, I was worried about you and went to look for you. When I found you at that Frat house, you were passed out, so I brought you home. I didn't want to put you in your room, so I stayed here on the couch with you." Sheldon removed his arm from Amy's shoulder. She sat up and scooted away from him.

"I don't know how I could have passed out, I didn't drink anything alcoholic. I would never!" Amy was confused. When she had arrived at the party, she had been asked which guy had invited her, and she had told them. She was then given a shirt to wear and a drink, but the rest was a blur. She intended to put on her new shirt over her cardigan, so she had gone to the room with the coats to change. Seeing the bed she had just laid down for a moment. Next thing she knew, she was waking up in Sheldon's arms.

Though she had heard from her cousin to watch out for parties at college, she didn't think anything like that would ever happen to her. Amy was suddenly scared of what could have happened. She looked up at Sheldon who seemed so calm.

"I don't know, but you were pretty out of it, though I admit that I didn't smell alcohol on you." Sheldon was also puzzled why she was so tired. He hated to think that Felix could have been be right, and that Amy had been slipped something.

"You… came and got me?" Amy was quivering at the thought of what could have happened.

"Don't be angry, but Felix said that …" Before Sheldon could finish, Amy flung her arms around him and started to cry. She was so overwhelmed that she had a friend that cared so much to come to rescue her.

"Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you. Thank you so much… I never had a friend as good as you. Thank you." She nuzzled into this neck and held him with a constricting hold. Sheldon stiffened up at the initial contact, but as the second ticked by, he relaxed into her arms.

Sheldon didn't know what to do, so he lightly tapped her back with his hands, "There… there…." He also leaned down and breathed in the smell of her hair. The aroma of the party was still on her, but underneath, she had the clean scent of clementine.

Amy pulled herself off him, "Thank you Dr. Cooper." She sniffed a little and tried to gain some composure back.

Sheldon smiled, "Well, if we are friends, as you say, you … um… can call me Sheldon."

Amy smiled, "Okay, you can call me Amy, if you like."

"That would be acceptable. Now, I think we should go to bed." Sheldon looked at Amy, then grew pale, "NOT TOGETHER!"

"I know that Dr... Sheldon. It's been a crazy night." but fortunately not that crazy she thought. "Thanks for coming to get me, even though you were mad about the comic store." Amy stood up, but she was a little wobbly.

"Oh, let me help you." Sheldon held her arm and wrapped his other around her small waist as he walked her to the room. Amy entered her room, with Sheldon attached to her. She was more unsettled by his gesture than she was the evening and as they entered her room, she could feel Sheldon's arm tense up.

"You've never been in here, have you?"

"No. Never." Sheldon looked around and swallowed, "I'm not allowed in here." It was a sparsely decorated room, with a bed similar to Sheldon's. The bed had a blue quilt folded at the end and was perfectly made. Sheldon breathed in the scent which he could only describe as heavenly.

"Well, you are now." Amy sat on the edge of the bed, while Sheldon looked longingly toward the door.

"I should let you sleep." Sheldon turned around but then he turned back, "One thing though… When I got you from that Den of inequity, you said, you wished I knew. What was it you wished I knew?" Sheldon cocked his head and looked at Amy from the door.

Amy swallowed and put a smile on, but she was still shaking, "Oh.. nothing… You're tired. I will tell you later."

"Please tell me, Amy." Sheldon walked back toward her, and brushed her hair off her face so he could see her eyes. She tilted her head up to meet his blue eyes and took in a sigh. She could never reveal she had feelings for him that were growing daily. It was like a crystal growing in her heart and made heavy anytime he was around.

Amy bit her lip and said quickly, "um…I wish you knew how much… I um… hated that party and you were right." Her eyes darted around, but Sheldon didn't know that was her tell. She was lying.

Sheldon smile almost hurt his face, "Well, I am never tired of hearing that. Good night, Amy."

Amy let out a sigh, "Good night, Sheldon."

**Chapter 6: Ch 6: Eicky Ecchymosis**

**Chapter 6: Eicky Ecchymosis**

As the months became hotter, Sheldon and Amy's friendship became stronger. They were inseparable almost every day of the week. She had convinced him to go with her to a harp concert, and he had even connived her into playing video games though she only allowed it for 30 minutes, once a week. Sheldon and she would create games that would help her study so the study time became congruent with their games nights.

Sheldon's calls to this mother became filled with stories about how Amy was doing in school, or where they went for their bi weekly 'Educate the Tourists'' outings. Sheldon's mother was intrigued by the young lady who had become such a close friend, however, she was less than thrilled to know that they were living together. Sheldon assured his mother that nothing sexual was going on between him and Amy and no sinning was happening, but Mary Cooper was less than convinced.

"Shelly, are you tellin' me, you're living less than 5 feet from that girl, and you don't have any hungry eyes on her? Really?"

"Yes, mother!"

Mary Cooper slumped back on her couch, and let out an exasperated sigh, "I should have taken you to another the specialist. I just can't believe a 21 year old man isn't interested in a girl."

"I am interested in her, as a friend, nothing more." Sheldon almost swallowed his Adam's apple thinking of Amy in the shower and how very _interesting_ he had found that experience, but he would never say a word to his mother about any of it, including how often he thought of it while he himself was in the shower. "Amy would never want any more that!"

Mary grew a knowing smirk, "Would you?"

"I just said that!"

"No, you said Amy wouldn't want anything more, but do you?" Mary held on to the phone, hoping against hope for an answer that would reconfirm her faith in the lord, but today wasn't the day.

Sheldon's voice cracked as he ignored his mother's question, "We are just friends, mother. Nothing more!" Sheldon rolled his twitching eyes. He was glad he didn't have video conferencing with his mother because she would read far too much with his eye convulsing.

"Well, I don't care what you think is going on, you need to get your butt to church. I know them Yankee liberals up north don't know how to praise the lord as good as we do, but you still need to go! They must have some god up there somewhere. "

Sheldon had been waiting all day to tell her, "I'm one step ahead of you! Amy took me to a church! I am done for the year and I don't have to deal with all that Christmas mumbo jumbo." Sheldon was beaming with righteous condemnation, but not the kind that Mary Cooper usually had.

"Watch that mouth about Christmas, son…" Mary was no fool. She asked skeptically, "Now hold up, just walking in don't count."

"I know. We stayed for the whole service. Amy was quite knowledgeable about it, actually."

Mary was still incredulous, "Now, what kind of church, exactly?"

"Episcopalian."

"Well, not the rosary rattlers… kind of the light version of them though." Mary leaned into the phone, "Are you sure you went?"

Sheldon smiled, he knew she would want proof, "Check your email. I have a picture to prove I went!"

Mary logged on, and sure enough, staring her in the face, was her little boy with a toothy grin that she hadn't seen on him in years. Next to him, a young woman with long brown hair, big green eyes and just as big a smile. They were standing in front of the altar with a man in a green colored robe, who looked less than pleased to be posing for pictures.

"Oh, look at you! You look so happy! Is that Amy?"

Sheldon was beaming, "Yes. I sent you another picture of her. She is at the bay." It was the photo of Amy looking over the Boston harbor.

"Oh she is cute as button, honey! Boy, is her hair long! Aint she hot in them sweaters?"

Sheldon rolled her eyes, "She's perfect mother. She likes her sweaters…and her hair. Leave her be."

Mary smiled, "You sure there is nothing goin on between you too?"

"NO MOTHER!"

Mary looked at her son's happy face and said to herself. "We'll see…"

A few days later, Amy had her own mother to deal with as well, however, her call came while she was cooking dinner. Sheldon heard the half of the conversation while he was dusting.

"No I haven't yet, mother!... Yes.. I know… Once a year… Mother, I am in my master's program. I don't have time for dating!"

Sheldon dropped his furniture polish with a thud on the wood floor. He quickly picked it up and listened more intensely to the conversation while dusting the same spot on the coffee table over and over again.

"Look, can't I go on like… I don't know… 4 dates next year after I'm done? Why not? Ugh… Because he was stupid mother! I can't date a stupid man! I would be bored! No mother, I can't act dumb to catch a man.. Ugh!" Amy rolled her eyes and shook her head at Sheldon. He just smiled and kept dusting the same spot.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do. It's fine… No problems…" Amy turned and tried to lower her voice so Sheldon couldn't hear, "I hardly see the roommate… no… I really don't what the field is… Oh that's my other line… Got to go!" Amy hung up and almost threw the phone across the counter.

Sheldon came up to her and asked her with a puzzled look, "What did you mean you hardly see me? I see you every day."

Amy slumped over the pot of spaghetti sauce, "My mother doesn't know you are a … well… a man…"

"Oh! Hmm… Is she still bothering you for your obligation?"

"Yes! I wish I had your mother! One trip to a church and you are done! Little does she know we spent the whole time discussing Paul Revere's ride. Did you tell her that church was the one from which two lanterns were shown on April 18, 1775, to warn that the British were coming by sea?"

"No, I left that part out. You don't want to know how many lanterns we would need if my mother came here."

"I am guessing as many as my mother. Oh Sheldon, you have it so easy! You don't have to spend a tedious evening with a stranger who has god know what intentions, or worse, a liberal arts major!" Amy started to cut up the hot dogs for the spaghetti sauce but with a little too much vigor.

Sheldon thought for a moment about how he conveniently left out information about the details of his trip to church and it gave him an idea, "So, Amy. Why don't you date me?"

Amy dropped the knife, "I'm sorry?"

"Not really, but just tell her you met me, and we are dating. Leave out the part where we live together though, that could be awkward." Sheldon watched her bend over to pick up the knife and quickly moved his eyes away before she caught them. She was still shocked by his proposal, but it had merit.

Amy went to the sink and started to wash the knife, "You know that could work… She doesn't know you. You would be an ideal mate for me, so very believable."

Sheldon straightened up like a proud peacock, "I would be an idea mate! I'm highly intelligent, employed, tall, which I am lead to believe that women like that in a mate."

Amy moved to the stove and stirred her spaghetti with a dreamy look on her face. She was looking at Sheldon as she continued his list of attributes, "You're funny. The most fun guy I've ever met! You're kind, witty. You've got brilliant blue eyes that match the sky and your intoxicat…" Amy caught her dreamy self before she revealed too much. Sheldon jaw had already dropped. "Um… I mean… you're acceptable. How to convince her though…"

Sheldon sat at the bar stool, "Can't you just tell her?"

"No. It's like your mother." Amy stirred again, and then snapped her fingers, "A PHOTO! IT worked for you!"

"Just us together? She will think we are just neighbors or something."

"Hmm. My cousin says the only way to know that people are a couple are matching costumes, sex tapes and hickeys."

"It's not Halloween, so no costumes."

Amy licked her lips, "Um… sex tapes are out.. My mother would faint."

"So would I!" Sheldon chewed his bottom lip as he watched Amy fry up the hotdogs for the sauce. Everything she did was so effortless. If he ever did have intercourse, which would NEVER happen, he knew that. But if he ever did, she would be an ideal person. He quickly shifted his thought patterns away from such inappropriate notions as thinking of his roommate in such a fashion. "Um… what's a hickey?"

"Well… I don't think you would like that. It's a dark colored mark, an ecchymosis. It is usually found on the neck and caused by sucking so hard that the small capillaries break. "

"In what universe is an hematoma a sign of affection?"

"I don't know, but that how the kids roll now." Amy shrugged.

"What? Now they are rolling, like around with each other? What fresh hell is that?!"

"No, not rolling never mind. Anyway, one sucks on the other's neck till a dark mark occurs and it is a indicator in social groups that you have been intimate with another." Amy looked at Sheldon for moment, but his face did not look well.

Sheldon looked frightened, "That sounds painful!"

"Well, I never had them, so I don't know. But my cousin says they are fine." Amy thought for moment. "If I had makeup, I could fake one! I mean... its just suction.. hmmm Oh better! I need to use the vacuum after dinner!"

"Oh dear lord! Okay.." Sheldon remembered something, "Hey! My sister used to come home from her dates will all kinds of marks like that on her neck! She said they were mosquitoes! I never went outside after dark in Galveston again!"

"Well, she's was a good liar. Let's hope I can be! Now, who wants dinner?" Amy plopped the plate in front of Sheldon with a huge smile.

"Oh yummy! You are the best cook, Amy! You really do need to find a mate so you can dote on the lucky guy and show what a good wife you'd be." Sheldon was licking his chops.

Amy dropped the knife again at his off the cuff sexist remark, but she still blushed at the implications.

Sheldon watched with a wide smile as she picked up the knife again but the smile quickly dropped at the notion of Amy with anyone else. He thought about another man enjoying her cooking, her contagious laugh, or having her beaming smile just for them. That man would hold her every night and just maybe see her naked dripping body exit the shower every day. He almost lost his appetite.

Sheldon quickly added, "But um… that would be a complete waste of your talents. Be um… your own wife…" Sheldon thought the statement was ridiculous, but he had to get the notion out her head.

"Indeed. Just to clarify. You'd would also make a marvelous husband, Sheldon, but I doubt science will let you go."

"As you say, she is a vixen." Sheldon smiled and dove into this dinner. Amy watched with a melancholy smile.

For dessert, since they were in season, Amy had also made strawberry pie. Sheldon was in heaven, and almost licked the plate of strawberry sauce.

After they had almost finished their pie, Sheldon brought out the vacuum for Amy to try and make her mark, as she went to sit on the couch. She took off her cardigan, then the other one, then the blouse to expose her neck. Sheldon almost dropped the canister vac when as she took off the second to last layer of clothing and he saw her sitting in only a tight tank top on and her skirt.

"Okay, I think here would be best. Could you help me hold this. Right there.. Okay, turn it on." The loud noise rumbled in Amy's ears, and the vacuum was sucking away at her neck, but she could tell, nothing was happening.

Amy yelled over the vacuum, "I DON'T THINK ITS WORKING!"

Sheldon yelled back, "IT'S THE HIGHEST SETTING! NOW YOU KNOW WHY I CAN'T GET THIS FLOOR DONE RIGHT!"

"BECAUSE YOU DO THE MIDDLE FIRST! YOU NEED TO START AT THE EDGES!" Amy was still yelling when Sheldon turned off the vacuum, "AND WORK…hey you turned it off!"

"You don't like the way I vacuum?!" Sheldon was never more insulted.

Amy pushed the vacuum away, "NO! No… you're great! It's the machine! Not you!" The last thing she wanted to do was clean the apartment since Sheldon did every square inch of now that he was allowed in her room. So, she figured, she had better not mention that he always missed the spot under the counter. "Stupid machine!" She also shouldn't mention she hated the way he folded towels.

"Well, what do we do now?"

Amy licked her fork and said quietly, "I guess I have to go on a stupid date. I have to do it with a dating service so my mother has proof I went. Fascist!"

Sheldon noticed she had a bit of circular mark on her neck, but nothing that would show. He got the wet wash cloth that he had prepared and ran it over her neck. Amy stopped talking and tilted her neck while watching with round eyes at his gentle actions.

Sheldon stroked her neck gently as he licked his lips. Before he could pull back his words he said, "Um… well. I guess I could do it."

"You could give me a hickey?" Amy almost dropped her fork.

Sheldon swallowed and moved his hand from her clean neck, "Um.. sure. I mean how hard is it if my sister could do it. Seems simple enough. I wonder how long one would have to apply suction. Also, given the angle.. Um… How big do you want this thing?"

Amy could see his mind work out the problem like it was formula, but his question got her mind working too, "Um, good question. Given the surface area..."

"And the amount of suction needed..."

"And the color needed. I mean, the longer the suction, the darker, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes. I am thinking.. Um… 73 seconds, give or take."

"Agreed. Do you want me to show where?" Amy put down her fork and faced Sheldon.

Sheldon reached up to her neck, "Um… here?" His finger glazed the soft skin of her neck just below her collar bone. It was very low on her chest. Sheldon breath was hitched as he touched her.

"No, my blouse collar would cover that. How about here." She pointed to where her neck met her chest above her clavicle, but Sheldon's eyes were lower. He quickly popped them back to her face.

"Okay, should we begin?"

"Yes." Amy arched her head back, pulled her hair off her neck and exposed her neck to Sheldon as if she was awaiting a Vampire. Sheldon took a deep breath and leaned in toward her neck. He took a moment to smell her skin, before he pulled back in alarm.

"Um…There's a costume shop next to the comic book store.. we could…"

Amy rolled her eyes, "Come on Sheldon! Don't worry, you won't hurt me! Just get in there!" Amy scooted closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder. Sheldon took a deep breath and dived into her neck. He bit down on her skin and she pulled back with a loud yelp.

"You said I wouldn't hurt you! Your scream scared me!" Sheldon looked like a wounded puppy.

"I'm sorry I scared you." Amy held her hand to her neck and rolled her eyes, "Only **you** could hurt someone and get **THEM** to apologize. Now, try this instead." Amy went to get some of the strawberry sauce off her plate and put a dab on her neck. "Just suck that off my neck, okay? But no biting!"

Sheldon winced, "Really, that seems most unsanitary."

"My neck is clean, you did it yourself." Amy smiled and tilted her neck again. Sheldon watched the small red smear of sweet sauce start to glide down her neck. He leaned in, licked the sweet trail and he sucked on the spot. His tongue glided over her skin as he tried to capture all the strawberry sauce, but he was soon enraptured with her natural taste instead. Within a few seconds he had gotten the hang of the action.

The sweet taste of strawberries and the aroma of her skin swirled together, jumbling Sheldon's senses. He leaned closer, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. He could feel Amy's pulse rise with every second as his tongue glided across her silken skin. Her breath was hitched, but what he couldn't see was her eyes roll in the back on her head. Though what he heard was a soft moan release from her parted lips. He pulled back and opened his eyes. She was breathless, blushed and beautiful, but unmarked.

"Drats."

Amy jumped up to her get her purse. She needed a moment to compose herself and the short walk to the desk was long enough for her catch her breath. She pulled out a compact and came back to the couch. "I see what you mean. Nothing. It sure didn't feel like nothing, though."

"Maybe your skin is too thick." Sheldon shrugged his shoulders.

"I bet I could do it on your skinny neck, Mr. Weak lips."

"Weak lips! Come here!" Sheldon pulled her back to him and dove in again. He was determined not to let this woman or her elephant skin win. Although as soon as his mouth met her skin again, all thoughts of thick elephant skin where forgotten. She was softer than rose petals and just as sweet smelling. Sheldon's anger at her insult was forgotten in a moment, as was the reason for the activity. He focused on the same spot and leaned into her, pushing her back on to the back of the couch. Amy's shock at his swift actions gave way to pleasure as his nimble mouth moved over the spot. Sheldon's own low moan rumbled in his ears and he quickly pulled away, shocked at his own reaction.

Amy held her neck, "Oh… my.. that should have worked… hoo." Amy snatched the compact, and eyed a small, crimson mark on her neck. "Well, small, but it should do. Thank you.. Sheldon… I know that was awkward."

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Yes… terribly so. We need to do it again."

"What? This is fine. Mother should be able to see it."

Sheldon eyes were dark as midnight, "I can do better. I think. I should try again. I am sure of it."

"Oh Sheldon, don't be so hard on yourself. You did adequately."

"Adequately?" Sheldon looked away and closed his eyes, breathing in and out rapidly, "Sheldon Cooper does nothing adequately. I am definitely doing it again, Miss Hickey expert. In fact…" Sheldon arched his neck and pulled down his shirt, "You do it, and we will see how 'adequate' you are."

Amy glared at him, "Oh I am MORE than adequate pal. Come here!" Amy almost jumped on him, pushing his body against the couch. She latched on his neck as her hands held down his shoulders pinning him against the couch. Sheldon's hand that had been holding his shirt down, was now gripping her shoulders as her mouth feasted on a spot on his neck. She was unrelenting, and the suction pulling his skin was just enough to cause intense pleasure with twinges of pain.

Her body was flush with his and hands that once held her bare shoulders moved to her back pulling her closer to him. Sheldon's head was arched back, but his eyes were closed. He had never in his life been this close to person, other than trying to save a dying nun and kissing his sister during Cotillion training. He had expected he would be repulsed by it, and would want to push her off his body, but instead, his hands had other ideas, and pulled her in even closer. As quickly as the action started, it stopped. Amy pulled back and looked at him. Her face was flush, and her lips plump and swollen, but it was her sly grin that got Sheldon's attention.

Amy pulled off him quickly, "See that's how it's done." She sipped her tea and tried to compose herself, hoping he didn't notice her shaking hands and knees, but he was too busy catching the breath this woman had seemed to suck out of him. He pulled himself off the back of the couch and picked up the compact with a skeptical ire.

"You mauled me! Look at this! I look like a leopard!" The mark Amy gave him was a deep burgundy, perfectly round and dark. Very dark.

"No, you look like a love sick teenager after a heavy make out session with your beguiling fake girlfriend, who I might add, just schooled you on how to give a proper hickey. So there!" Amy stuck her tongue out at him and smirked.

Sheldon Cooper is never out done. He drew in three short breaths and then sat up on his one knee, towering over Amy as she sat on the couch. She took a deep swallow and looked up at him with trepidation. His eyes were almost black from enlarged pupils and his determined stare caused her to draw in a short breath. He licked his lips and then said in a low husky growl, "I think you forget which one of us is the professor, Ms. Fowler."

Without another word, he reached around her small waist with one hand as his other pulled back her neck. He dove into her soft skin with a renewed earnest. Amy was so surprised that she fell back onto the couch, with Sheldon on top of her, sucking and nibbling at her neck, each time harder and more determined. Amy couldn't help herself, she let out a moan at each movement, but the sounds only seemed to fuel his action. By the time he pulled away, Amy had not one, but three deep dark hickeys on her neck and very little will for him to stop. However, Sheldon's mind had finally caught up with his endocrine system. He pulled back quickly, pulling her up off the couch with him in a fluid motion that knocked what little breath she had out of her lungs. He smiled and handed her the compact.

"I believe the student, is now the teacher, Ms. Fowler." It was Sheldon's turn to sip his tea in smug satisfaction. Amy could care less about the hickeys at that moment. She was trying to get her voice back.

"I… um.. yes.. I see. Oh my.. I too look like a leopard! Or that Star Trek lady you made me watch!"

Sheldon set down his tea, "A Trill! Oh that is marvelous! You do look like one! Did you know that the sentient symbiont share cerebral nuclei?"

Although it was Star Trek, he was still talking about brain science, and Amy was hooked. The rest of the evening was a heated discussion about Star Trek Trill physiology, brain patterns and one episode that had cemented Amy's crush on Dr. Julian Bashier from Deep Space Nine. As they watched the episode, Sheldon would steal glances over to Amy who was rubbing her neck, with a half-smile.

Before they went to bed, they snapped a few pictures of themselves for Amy's mother. Sheldon asked he could be copied on the email, not so much as to read what Amy said, but more so he could have the picture of her. He smiled as he looked at the set of photos. In one picture, his eyes were closed, but Amy was looking at him, grinning as she held his arm.

He changed his screen saver that night, again.

**Chapter 7: Ch 7: Dress for the Heat**

**Chapter 7**

**Dress for the Heat**

By the end of July, the couple had had very few fights, however, during the one of the hottest days of the year, the domestic tranquility was broken by a heated argument between the normally tranquil roommates.

Sheldon knew something was amiss when Amy addressed him by his title, "Dr. Cooper! It's over 100 degrees outside, we have to discuss the thermostat! My room is hotter than Hades!" Amy was fanning herself, trying to hold herself up with the counter, but she was one step away from passing out.

Sheldon watched her strip off her first cardigan, and fan herself. It wasn't blazing hot in the apartment but it was hotter than normal; however, the rule was that the thermostat would not touched. It was set to 72 degrees.

Sheldon eyed her from over his laptop, ignoring her plight by repeating the rule with all the sympathy of bureaucrat, "Paragraph 2, of section 4: Environmental settings. The RA states that…"

"I don't give a damn what the Roommate agreement says, come in my room, and tell me it's 72 degrees! It's not! Ergo, the thermostat must be adjusted! I'm dying!" Amy fanned herself like a southern belle, but Sheldon just rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't be over dramatic! The thermostat is set to 72, therefore, its 72 degrees. "

"It's not in there!" Amy pointed to her room, but Sheldon just snorted and kept his eyes on his screen.

"Not my problem. If we start changing things, chaos reigns!"

Amy stomped her foot and bellowed across the room. "You complete unsympathetic jerk! I think you like it this hot because you're used to it back at your home!"

"Texas?"

"No, in hell! You are devil! I hope your melt in your room tonight!" Amy went back to her room, and stripped off most of her clothes. She was just wearing a tank top and a pair of gym shorts left over from her high school days when she was forced into doing PE even though she had brittle ankles. She felt naked but she didn't care. She drew up her hair in a bun, and tried to study for the exam on the coming Friday but it was impossible.

She went the living area to get a glass of ice water, the first glass she had all day. She stormed past Sheldon who finally looked up from his computer long enough to drop his jaw at her appearance. To see her so exposed was a complete distraction and one for which he was ill prepared. He had too many flashback to their hickey session on the couch to ignore her half dressed attire and exposed neck. Amy didn't even bother to look at Sheldon.

She grabbed some ice cubes, put them in a towel and then started to rub them on her neck while she held onto the side of the counter. Sheldon watched the ice melt and streams of water drip down her shirt, but he also noted she was sweating. Maybe the room was a little hot. Amy seemed more irritable than normal for a hot day. Sheldon was almost ready to cave on the thermostat, but her appearance kept him frozen.

"Amy… its 72 degrees in this room. You shouldn't be hot. There is no need to prance around half naked…" He took a large swallow as he eyed her body up and down. Her tight shorts showed off her ample buttocks, but it was her nearly transparent shirt that he couldn't stop himself from staring at.

Amy cut him off before she was tempted to throw her ice water at his smug face, "I am not half naked! I am wearing the appropriate clothes for the situation you have put me in! I'm sorry… is this not the approved uniform of your myrmidon." Amy put her hands on her hips in defiance.

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Amy! You are not a subordinate who just follows my rules."

"Damn right I'm not, buddy!" Amy was still roasting, even with all her layers gone, "It's the hottest day of the year, and you are sticking to the rules for the rules sake alone, you pedantic fascist!"

Sheldon ignored her rising temper and tried to stay calm, "The whole point of having rules is so one can plan for any problem. The rules will guide your actions."

"Yes, but you can't plan for everything. You have to adapt, Sheldon! Sometimes things change, and your best laid plans are for naught! Part of good planning is to have contingencies for such unforeseen occurrences…LIKE YOUR ROOMMATE IS A TOTAL ASS!"

Amy was swaying from the heat and unable to continue her thought for a moment. Sheldon's growing concern made him rise off his chair to meet her in the kitchen. She tried to continue to speak, but it was garbled, "The best plans… change.. they adapt…" Amy eyes rolled back in her head and she almost fell toward the counter before Sheldon caught her in his arms.

She was burning up, but not from the heat of the room, but her own internal furnace. He could feel her body heat while he held her, she had a fever. Sheldon picked her up, cradled her head, held her knees as he carried her to her to the couch. He thought she was sick, and he had to break her fever and get fluids in her. Not once did he think she was too sick to be around, or that he would catch her germs. He went to her room to get a quilt, and then he felt it, a wave of heat coming from her room. For some reason, her room was over 90 degrees. She had been right the whole time, and worse he realized, she probably now had heat stroke.

Sheldon had dealt with heat stroke before in Texas when his Meemaw had passed out at a picnic when the temperature had reached over 100 degrees. He had cool Amy down. He turned his shower on cold, but he realized she would never hold herself up there so he put on the one article of clothing he said he would never need: A swimming suit. Carefully, he picked Amy up off the couch and brought her into the shower. The cool water rousted her from her stupor.

"Sheldon? What's going on?" Amy was beginning to feel better, though she was confused as to why she was standing in a shower with Sheldon who was wearing Superman boxers. He held onto her, not letting her go while the water flooded over her back. If her shirt had been transparent before, now it was positively see through.

Sheldon tried not to look at her body as he held her, but it was extremely difficult, "Well, do you want the good news, or the bad news?"

"Both, in that order..." Amy's breath was jagged as the frosty water hit her back. She was also shivering just looking at Sheldon's nearly naked body almost pressed against her. Water was streaming down his bare chest to his flat stomach. He had a tiny patch of hair trailing down from his belly button to disappear into his shorts. His thin build highlighted any muscles he had, which were flexed from holding her up. She placed her hands on his arms, not only to steady herself but also to feel his arms bare for the first time.

"Good news is… You are recovering from your apparent heat stroke. Bad news…" Sheldon swallowed and licked his lips as he looked down at her body once more, "Bad news is that you were right."

"How is that bad news?"

Sheldon just rolled his eyes, "There will be no living with a woman who was proven right, my daddy used to say."

Amy couldn't help but smile at this thick accent and his bluing lips from the cold water. He was shivering as well, but he stayed in the shower with her just in case she fell. Amy was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness and could only smile and say softly, "Thank you, Sheldon. You're a great friend. But I have one problem."

Sheldon tried to keep his eyes front, but the see through shirt which was plastered against her breasts showing off her hardened nipples was a hindrance to his concentration. "Um.. huh what? Oh… yes, sorry. What is the problem?"

"I'm cold." Amy moved forward and wrapped her arms around his waist to steal his warmth.

"Oh lordy woman, make up your mind!"

The following week was a busy one for Amy who had been studying intensely and she was exhausted. So much so that Sheldon had tried doing some of the cooking to ease her burden, but she still had long nights studying and she was getting sick of chicken fried everything. Sunday morning arrived and Sheldon rose at this habitual 6.30 AM to watch Dr Who and eat his customary bowl of cereal. He fixed his bowl and then headed to the couch, but unfortunately, it was already occupied. Amy was snoozing curled up with her head in his spot. Sheldon was in a dilemma.

As he stared at her on the couch, he didn't want to wake her, but the thought of not watching Doctor Who in his spot was making him twitch.

He put his cereal on the table next to him and tried to move Amy down the couch to make room, but she only stretched out covering his spot more. Sheldon gave up, and just lifted Amy and rested her head on his leg while he switched on the TV to mute with closed Captioning. About half way through the episode, Amy stirred and wrapped her hands around his leg like it was a pillow. Sheldon tried to ignore the fact that her hand was dangerously close to parts that no woman had ever touched since his mother started potty training him, but thankfully Amy didn't move much more after that, only once which made her hair flip over her face. Sheldon looked down at her sleeping soundly on his leg, but her hair drove him crazy. He brushed her hair off her face as he watched the show and had become as so engrossed in the antics of Doctor Who and Sarah Jane Smith that he didn't notice he had been running his hands through her hair and down her shoulders. Only Amy's moan caused him to stop and rest his hand on her shoulder as he continued to watch.

A sleepy voice broke through the quiet scene, "Why doesn't the Doctor just bring Sarah Jane with him to Gallifrey?"

Sheldon almost jumped off the couch, but he just quickly snatched back his hand, "I thought you were asleep?"

"I was…" Amy rose off Sheldon's leg and stretched out her arms with a yawn. Though she looked exhausted, he also thought she looked beautiful. "I was kept up all night with the amorous activities of our neighbor who thinks coitus is an operatic vocal exercise."

"Oh dear. I need to get you some noise cancelling headphones."

Amy stumbled off to her bedroom without a word, but came quickly back, "Oh God, they are still going at it." Amy almost started to cry, "I need to sleep. This test is a killer. That is why I took this class in the summer, I hoped it would be quiet enough to be able to concentrate…" Amy sat at the desk and buried her face in her hands.

"Go sleep in my room. I will get my clothes, and leave you to rest." He said it so quickly he didn't even give a thought to what he had offered. Another person would be sleeping in his bed. He hadn't had another person in his bed since that ill-conceived sleep over party his mother insisted he have with the neighbor kids one summer. Unfortunately for Sheldon, the one kid who said yes was a bed wetter. Ever since then, he had to sleep alone, and take up the middle of the bed so that no one else would ever think to sleep in his bed again. While he wouldn't be with Amy at the same time, the idea of her in his bed should have given him pause, but it didn't.

Amy snapped her head up, "Really? Oh thank you so much." She didn't wait for another invitation. She stumbled off to Sheldon's room and curled up in his sheets. She was asleep in less than 20 seconds.

When Sheldon came into the room to fetch his clothes, he took a few moments to watch her sleep in his bed. For some reason he could not understand it, it was comforting to see her there, as if he was truly not alone anymore.

Though he had never known what having a friend was like before he met her, he was actually glad because he didn't want to feel the same about them as he did about Amy. He realized that he would do anything for her: Let her sleep in his bed, change his routine, admit he was wrong, even shower with her just to help her and he knew that he did all of this gladly. In addition he compromised on things he had never thought he would compromise for anyone. So he thought that friendship must mean compromise which he usually shunned. However, if having a friend also meant that every second he saw them, he felt a warm glow and even a sense of contentment then maybe being friends with people was worth the changes to his personality. However, now that he had Amy as friend, the idea of losing her when he went back to California was like a knife in his gut.

Monday morning, he made his way to the employment office of Harvard. He took a deep breath before he entered the doors. He couldn't believe he was entertaining the ridiculous notion that he would work permanently for Harvard. Sheldon was changing his lifelong plans, changing who he was for another person, but the idea of leaving her at the end of the semester seemed even more ridiculous. Besides, he reasoned, she would be done with her masters soon enough, and then she would come to California. As Sheldon approached the desk, a familiar figure met him.

"Well, well, well, Dr. Coopa, fancy seeing you here." Mildred grinned with her yellowed teeth, but her smile was so genuine it was hard to disparage.

"Do you work in EVERY department?"

"This summer, just call me Mrs. Harvard. Now, let me guess: You want to work here now, huh?"

Sheldon was shocked that Mildred could see through him so easily. "How could you possibly think you know that?"

Mildred had worked at the University for a long time, and knew her students, Dr Cooper may have been a professor, but he was still a young man and by the end of the semester she could read him like a book. Every time he came in with a complaint, she was able to distract him by asking how Amy Farrah Fowler was doing. Mildred knew it was a devils bargain as she had to listen for at least an hour of every little thing the woman did, said, or cooked, but it was worth it. Sheldon always left starry eyed, and with no complaint filed.

"I know that because I'm a genius too. Now… I hate to deal you harsh blow, sweetie. No jobs. There is a hiring freeze this semester." Mildred could see his face almost melt with disappointment, and then stiffen.

"I wasn't here for that, if you must know. I was um… looking for the grounds keeper office. There are far too many rose bushes on my way to class. One could get hurt with all those thorns! It's an OSHA violation!"

"Oh really? Does Amy like roses?" Mildred held her bottom lip to hide her grin.

Sheldon's face softened a moment, and he a wide smile replaced his stern expression, "As a matter of fact she does. I think they are just severed plant genitals, but she brought some into the apartment the other day, and… hey… " Sheldon could see Mildred grin at the mention of Amy. He was no fool… this time, "You are trying to distract me! I don't have to stand for this! Good day!" Sheldon left in a huff.

Mildred smiled as he left, but then looked at the calendar and noticed the end of summer approaching. Her smile faded, "Oh that poor boy."

The next week seemed a blur to Sheldon as he was nearing the end of his contract and soon he would be home in California. The summer session would end on August 25th, and then there would be a week's break before Labor Day and the start of the fall semester. Sheldon was scheduled to go back on August 26th, the day after he turned in his grades. As he watched Amy fix him French toast with real maple syrup, he sent an email off to Caltech requesting that he delay his return till after September 5th, if possible. He quickly heard back that Caltech had scheduled a class for him to teach, and he had to be back by September 5th at the latest, no exceptions.

However, Harvard was thrilled that Sheldon would be going to stay a week longer. They had a donor party scheduled for August 26th, and wanted to milk Sheldon's presence on campus for every dollar they could. Sheldon was not so keen and had tried to skip out of it by leaving early, since just the thought of it made him nauseated. Sheldon changed his flight plans, and stayed on the East Coast for a long as he could.

Sheldon expressed his dismay in no uncertain terms to Amy, "Ohhh AMMY! I don't want to go to this stupid donor's party! I mean, those stupid people with their stupid germs, and their stupid questions. It's just so… so…" he whined

"Stupid?"

"Exactly!" Sheldon slumped on the couch, "This is the end of my summer, I don't want to be trotted around the show yard of Harvard like some prized bull waiting to collect his stud fee. It's humiliating!"

Without asking Amy brought him a tea again . He picked up the cup and ran his fingers around the rim. He had only one week left, and then he would be going back home. He should have been thrilled but just the thought of it made him angry, disappointed and for some reason, melancholy. Then on top of that, there was this party and though he knew it had been planned, and that since he had changed the date of his return home, he would be expected to attend, he was still dreading it

He felt the warm cup of tea in his hands and looked up to Amy. He didn't look at her face, just her hands. They were grasping her knees, holding them very tight, he could see the impression on her skin. She shouldn't be upset about this party, he thought. She didn't have to go. Then a pleasant thought occurred to him, Amy could go with him.

"Amy, would you go with me to this party? If you went, I could use you as a shield for these touchy feely handsy donors."

"Oh Sheldon, I don't do well with touchy, feely or handsy. I've been to these events before and you are right to worry about them."

"All the more reason to have you come with me! Please! I don't want to go alone!" Sheldon slumped his shoulders, stuck out his bottom lip and blinked his eyes a few times.

Amy hunched her shoulders down as she looked at him, "Ugh…" _Those damn Aegean eyes_! She thought she would drown in them for sure. She was dreading this party as well, but for other reasons. She knew he would leave shortly after and the only friend she had ever known would be 3000 miles away. He wasn't the nostalgic type and would quickly forget her, even with this eidetic memory. Amy had been melancholy the whole week, dreading this time. "Sheldon… I don't have a dress! It's the middle of the week, there are no garage sales to go looking for…"

"I'll buy you a dress!"

"Sheldon, you can't buy my dress! That's not what friends do. That's what boyfriends…" Amy looked down and her tea cup was half full, "More tea?"

"Come on Amy! You said we were friends, right?" He had that pleading whine, with a hint of desperation Amy could never resist. She wondered if he knew the power he had over her.

"Yes Sheldon. Best friends." She gave him a short smile and slumped her shoulders more.

"Then I evoke the favor. Come with me to this party as a favor. That's what friends do, right?" Sheldon smiled at her, thinking all his problems were solved.

Amy rubbed her forehead, "Yes they do. They also go dress shopping together."

"Oh lordy…" Sheldon knew being a friend was give and take, but being friends with a girl was its own special hell. He dreaded dress shopping, having flashbacks to shopping trip with his mother and sister to every K-Mart in the Houston metro area. However, dress shopping with Amy was for a good cause.

Amy was now suddenly nervous about the idea of going dress shopping with Sheldon, "Look.. um.. I got dumps like a truck, so this will take a while…"

Sheldon was befuddled, "Is this more of your urban slang? I don't see how you are anything like truck. Just get a green one and we go home. Easy peasy."

The made their way to the nearest mall for the hunt: The perfect dress. Sheldon thought the entire exercise would be over in 20 minutes, 30 tops if she needed shoes. He was a rookie.

Shopping with Sheldon was an exercise in restraint, Amy thought, anything but easy peasy. Amy wanted to strangle him on more than occasion when he kept trying to get out of his promise by asking go into the Lego store while she put on "frilly girly things"

"Nope! You have to tell me what you think. Now cop a squat, Cooper. It's going to be long day!"

Sheldon collapsed into a chair and just as he thought it couldn't get worse, Amy plopped her purse on this lap. It was the beginning of his nightmare. The rest came when Amy came out of the dressing room with every god awful dress that the store owned. Finally, Sheldon had had enough. He went to the rack, pulled the first green dress he saw, held it up, looked at it then at Amy and shoved in her hands.

"Buy this."

"Why?" Amy looked at the dress confused. It was nice, a little revealing in the chest, but nothing too trampy. The color was brilliant green, almost emerald.

"It matches your eyes and we are going to miss my show Farscape. I can't miss Farscape, Amy. I made a commitment." Sheldon ripped the dress out of her hand, rushed to cashier to pay for it.

"Fine…" Amy grabbed her purse and they left. She didn't even get a chance to try it on before she was whisked out the door.

The night of the party finally came and Amy was pacing frantically. She had tried the dress on when they got home and it fit perfectly, though how he was able to know her size just by looking, she had no idea. The dress had a sweetheart neckline and hugged her waist. She had to buy some makeup on her fading hickeys and she smiled as she did remembering how much teasing Sheldon had received from his class when he had entered the hall with his plum colored mark. He had refused to wear the make-up Amy had suggested because it was costume quality, and for the rest of the semester, he had worn his suit, even though he was roasting in the August heat, just so the class couldn't see his neck.

Amy continued to dress, as giddy as a young girl getting ready for prom. Amy had never attended a prom, other than being on cleanup crew also, this would be the first time she had ever been this dressed up, let alone have a boy waiting for her on the other side of the door. She curled her hair in waves, applied an amount of makeup her mother would have classified as whoreish, and then reached for the dress. Amy had always been self-conscious of her hips and lack of breasts, but this dress made the most of what she had and she had to admit, she looked stunning.

Her neck was very exposed, so much so that she could not wear her traditional bra because her bras made in the 1950's were so covering, it would show. She had to forego the undergarment, but the dress was so tight, it held her in anyway. She thought Sheldon would hate it since it showed too much skin, but he was the fool who made her buy a dress without trying it on, so the fault was with him. A small part of her felt like this was her first real date, but this was quickly dismissed the romantic notion. She was there as a shield for Sheldon against the donors, nothing more.

Sheldon came out of his room, dressed up in his plaid suit with the red tie. He hated dressing up like this, and he felt like an over educated gigolo. He was messing with this tie, when Amy came out of her room. Her hair was pulled back off her face, but with long wavy stands hanging over her shoulders. Sheldon froze, still holding his tie. He gulped and blinked a few times as his eyes wandered over her body. All the breath he had in his lungs had been pushed out by the stunning woman before him. If he could speak, he would tell her, but the words for beautiful were lost from his mind. He finally understood awestruck.

Amy smiled and seemed to glide across the room to him like a dancer. She finished straightening out his tie just like she did the first day he had attended class.

"Well, Dr. Cooper, you look very handsome in your suit."

"Um… you look… Ms. Fowler… handsome as well. I mean, not me. I don't. I meant,um .. you look nice." Sheldon shoulders slumped as he bumbled the compliment. He was never good at them, and this showed it.

Amy grinned and just finished straightening his tie. She patted his chest, and winked, "You don't think I have mirrors in there, I know how I look." Amy went to the kitchen to get some tea. They had about 20 minutes before the party started.

She brought Sheldon a soothing cup and placed it in front of his spot, which she tapped for him to sit. "Now, let's get you prepared for this party. I know you hate it, but these donor types… They might want you shake their hand."

"Ugh… Amy! I need to bring some hand sanitizer or something."

"I have some in my purse and wet naps. But look…" Amy reached out and grabbed his hand and shook it, "Not so bad, right?"

Sheldon shook her soft yet strong small hand and then pulled away. "No, not.. um … so bad."

"You better hope there isn't any French or Euro-type donors there. They like to kiss ya." Amy winked at Sheldon who looked horrified.

"FRENCH KISSING! Oh good lord the germs! Foreign ones no less!"

"Nah, don't worry! Just a cheek kiss, like this." Amy leaned over and kissed Sheldon cheek briefly and then pulled back and picked up her tea. She took a sip before she realized he was frozen.

"You… kissed… me." Sheldon face was slack jawed as he reached up to touch his own cheek.

Amy crossed her legs and gave a slight shrug of her shoulders, "Just a cheek kiss. No big deal. Oh, but the Italians, they might do it to both cheeks, so watch out."

Sheldon was still recovering from her kissing his cheek the first time. He felt her warm lips on his cheek still, even though she had pulled away. He wondered if it would feel the same, "What.. um is that like. Show me."

"Oh it's just the same, like this." Amy leaned over and quickly kissed both his cheeks while holding his shoulder. Sheldon was just as shocked that he wasn't repulsed by her kiss as he was by the kiss itself and as she approached him and kissed him his eyes were lowered and he could see down her dress to her chest and noticed she wasn't wearing a bra.

Amy pulled back, "See. No big deal. It's over in a second. Also, you aren't wearing makeup, so you can just wipe your face, but make sure you do it out of sight of the donor, or they will believe you think they are disease laden vermin."

Sheldon looked confused, "But I **do** think that."

"Yes, of course! But you don't want them to know that before they write the check, do you? No! Donors fund science Sheldon. Just like the Medici funded the Renaissance, sometimes, you gotta kiss the pope's ass or you end up on your back painting a ceiling. Ya know?"

Sheldon held up his hands, "Woah. I don't have to kiss anyone's you know what… Do I?"

Amy bit her lip, "Well…."

"Well… what?" His eyes popped open wide enough to fill half his face.

Amy slumped, "There was this one time, the donor came over to my professor at a party similar to this one. My professor was nice, but this guy had no boundaries. He gave her a quick kiss on the mouth as a sign of affection, but she was not too happy."

"What kind of kiss, like all sloppy." Sheldon looked disgusted by the idea of some stranger kissing him on the lips. However, he's eyes were on hers as he licked his own thinking about it.

"Oh no, just a peck ya know."

"No I don't, I've never kissed anyone." Sheldon gulped and said before he could take it back, "Show me. So I know what it would be like. Like the lecture hall, you prepared me for the unexpected. So… um... so that I know what to anticipate…"

"Well, if you knew what to expect, you wouldn't fear it. Okay. It was like this." Amy leaned over and planted a kiss on Sheldon. It only lasted for 2 seconds, but she could feel his lips press back on hers.

"That's a kiss. And you kissed me back. So you'll be fine." Amy waved her hand at him, dismissively, but she was reeling from her first kiss ever.

Sheldon licked his lips to recover, "I.. um.. what? I most certainly did NOT kiss you back."

Amy cocked her head back, "Yeah you did. No big deal. You pressed your lips back on mine. That's what you're supposed to do."

"I did not." Sheldon glared at her and crossed his arms. Amy did the same.

"Yes you did!"

"NO… I didn't!" Sheldon glared at her, "Who among us has an eidetic memory here, little lady. ME! I think that tight dress has cut off the circulation to your brain."

Amy looked down at her dress and pulled at it. "Tight dress!? It's not tight!" She looked again at her dress, as did Sheldon who almost let out a groan and gulped. She popped her eyes up and snapped back, "You picked it out, buddy! And, I might add, you did kiss me back!"

"Do it again. I'll show you!"

"FINE!" Amy leaned in again and kissed him, this time with more force. Sheldon's lips were pressed against hers "HA! The same!"

"So you agree, that was the same as the first time?" Sheldon smirked. Amy didn't know what he was going for, but she wasn't going to let him win.

"Of course.! And you kissed me back! Point Fowler."

Sheldon sneered, "No. do it again, and I will show you."

"Fine, god you are impossible! You can't ever be wrong, can you?"

"I never am!"

"Well, pal. You're about to be!" Amy leaned in to kiss him again, but this time, Sheldon kissed her back with enough force to knock her back on the couch. He followed her and continued to kiss, molding his mouth around her lips. He moved his hand up to her jaw and held her while he continued to kiss her. At one point, she thought he was going to pull away, but he only drew in a short breath through his nose and pressed his lips against her. He lowered his lip and sucked slightly on hers. Amy held on the back of the couch for strength as Sheldon held onto her. Finally he pulled back, but he kept his hand on her face for a moment longer looking shocked by his own actions.

Amy licked her lips and took a deep swallow. "Um… I guess you were right."

Sheldon was confused, "What? Oh right. Yes. I was right."

"Yeah… you win." Amy tried to straighten her hair but in her befuddlement, she almost forgot how, "Um… I don't think the donors are going to kiss you like that."

Sheldon looked at her lips again, "No. I should hope not."

Amy looked at his mouth and put her hand on her chest to stop it from beating out her rib cage. "We should go. You don't want to be late."

Sheldon stood, but his knees almost gave out, "No. I guess I don't."

Amy rose off the couch and grabbed her pocket book. They walked in silence to the reception hall, stealing glances at each other only turning away when the other caught the stare. Once they had reached the door, Sheldon held the door for her to enter, and Amy gave him a sweet smile in gratitude.

The reception was as dull as anticipated. Sheldon kept his hands crossed over his chest while hordes of stuffy rich people offered fake smiles and germy hands. Amy distracted the donor's reaching for Sheldon by asking about the latest investment opportunities, the rising cost of caviar, or the best one, the Presidential candidate President Bush's idea of privatized Social Security in the upcoming election. That kept them talking while Amy eyed the buffet table. She was starving as was Sheldon. Little did they know, the evening was just starting…

**Chapter 8: Ch 8: Total Recall**

**Chapter 8**

**Total Recall**

The early morning sun shone through Amy's thin drapes and woke Sheldon. He was confused, muddled, with a pounding headache and a cotton ball taste in this mouth. He blinked his eyes open to discover that he was naked. Worse off, he was naked next to a sleeping and also very naked Amy Farrah Fowler. His arm was trapped under her naked body, which was facing away from him.

"Oh no…" He slowly tried to pull his arm out from under Amy's body, but she stirred, moaned and turned around nuzzling into his chest while her arms tied around his torso like a bow.

Sheldon held his breath, not knowing what to do. His first instinct was to run as far away as he could, praying she wouldn't wake up, but the hints of clementine hitting his nose changed his mind. Her soft body against his, warm and silky also changed his mind. His arm that now found her shoulders and waist, changed his mind. He closed his eyes again, and drifted back into a hazy slumber. It was Amy's body stiffening up that finally woke him again.

"Sheldon! What? Why? How?" Amy jumped off Sheldon's body and pulled the sheets with her, almost revealing all of Sheldon's naked body, "I'm NAKED!"

"So am I, you cover hog! Give me that!" Sheldon pulled back the sheet to cover his chest.

Amy sat up and brushed her hair off her face as she tried to swallow the foul taste in her mouth.

"Oh god, Sheldon, what did we do? What happened?"

"I have no idea! The last thing I remember was that we were avoiding that Saudi Prince who was ogling you." Sheldon noticed her hair was a tussled mess and the sheet she had been hold was slipping down. No wonder that Saudi guy wanted to get near Amy he thought , ' _She is stunning_.

"Oh yeah! What was his name? Fizzle? OH man, I can't remember! Come on, Sheldon! You're the one with the eidetic memory! Give me something!"

"Hey! You have a good memory too! So, flip through your album, sister, I got nothing." Sheldon sat up and leaned against Amy's head board. Amy did the same. They both let out a similar long sigh as they wracked their stellar brains for any clues to their actions of the night before. Amy had hints, but nothing concrete.

"Do you think we were drugged? Like that Frat party?"

"Possibly." Sheldon thought for a moment, and his eyes lit up, "Maybe that's how Harvard gets all its money! They host parties where the guests are given drugs to remove their inhibitions. Then they drain their bank accounts and wipe their memories! It all makes sense!"

Amy just rolled her eyes, "Okay, no more X-files for you! That's just stupid!"

"Oh yeah!? What do you have, Ms. Smarty pants. Or should I say, Ms. Smarty missing pants!" Sheldon motioned his eyes to her body and opened them wide.

Amy frowned, "You're naked too!"

"I know…" Sheldon slumped back. "God, Amy do you think we…"

He gave her his most fearful eyes and Amy could do nothing but give him the cold dose of reality neither of them were ready for.

"Yes. I do."

Sheldon whined, "Oh man… I can't afford to give Harvard all my money with their amnesia drugs! I barely.."

Amy almost screamed, "No, Sheldon! I don't think Harvard drained our bank accounts! I think we had sex!"

"Oh that's a relief… wait.. What?" Sheldon pulled up the corner of the white sheet which now matched his face. "Do you really?" He peaked underneath the sheet at himself and then back to Amy.

"Sheldon, look at the evidence! We are naked in bed. There are condom wrappers on the side table and you have a satisfied smile on your face. Coitus confirmed." Amy threw her face in her hands, "Oh god… this is not how it was supposed to be! There was going to candles and harp music, and I would be swept away.. . Maybe Neil Diamond…"

"It wasn't supposed to happen at all for me!" Sheldon looked down at his body again and then back at Amy. Her tousled hair clung to her back and fell over her shoulders like a living chocolate colored citrus scented cape that any superhero would be proud of. He took a huge gulp and announced, "You must have seduced me!"

Amy popped her head up, "Excuse me? Are you serious! "

"Of course, there is no other explanation. You used your beguiling charms, and tempting hips to woo me to your bed. Your vixen ways were used to take advantage of my innocent trusting nature."

Amy glared at him, as her voice rumbled in her chest, "Or, you used your huge man hands on me, threw me on this bed and ravaged me."

Sheldon snorted, "Highly unlikely." Sheldon looked down at his hands, "And what does that mean exactly, huge man hands?"

"Look at them! They're huge! Just like your huge blue eyes and tall stature. You definitely seduced me!"

Sheldon slumped back and let out a sigh. The truth was they didn't know who did what or when. It was the most maddening puzzle and one that Sheldon would never be able to let go.

"Okay. We have to work this out." He sat up and looked at Amy, "Use some of that mumbo jumbo you brain monkey's do on me, and get my memories going. Come on!"

Amy rolled her eyes yet again, "Sheldon as much as it would thrill me to stab a needle in your head right now, I don't have a magic fix! We could go through the motions of last night and see if that triggers any memories."

Sheldon looked at Amy curled up next to him, and bit his lip, "ALL of the motions of last night?"

Amy watched his lip being chewed and remembered something about kissing him, but it was blurry, "Um… I don't know if it would come to that. Hopefully, we can figure this out without any need for… motions. Although, I should say, I feel pretty good this morning, no pain or anything. You must be very skilled at coitus, Sheldon." She gave him a timid smile and then quickly looked away as she scanned the room for her robe. Sheldon's mouth dropped at her compliment, but then he couldn't help himself, the corner of his mouth curled up with a hint of pride.

"Um. Yes, well, I do excel at so many things. You love my Chicken Fried ostrich."

Amy scrunched up her nose, "Let's not push it. Now you have to close your eyes, I need to get up and get my robe and I don't want you to see me naked."

"Amy, we just had coitus, not once but according to these wrappers, three times! I'm sure I've seen your body... every curve...every.. angle..." He cleared his throat. and let his voice raise an octave, "I think your modesty is silly." He coughed and stared at her unmoving, waiting to see what she would do.

"FINE!" Amy pulled off the sheet and stood up with her back toward Sheldon. Her long hair reached the curve of her buttocks in waves. Her waist showed at a camber angle to her wide hips. He only caught a glimpse of her front before she held up the robe to hide her figure. Though Sheldon was still motionless, but his jaw had dropped 3 inches. He didn't think she could have looked better than when she left the shower that one day, but he was wrong. So wrong, he thought.

Amy saw Sheldon's expression and gave a little smirk. She grew more bold, "See anything familiar, Dr. Cooper?" She twirled around and revealed herself, then quickly donned the robe. Sheldon was mesmerized, but he had to admit, as alluring as she was, it wasn't familiar, unless he was thinking of her in the shower, then he had all kinds of memories. The lack of this memory bothered him to no end, and he frowned in irritation at himself, which Amy misinterpreted as disdain for her playfulness.

Amy pulled the robe tight and looked down, "Sorry. I was just being silly."

Sheldon threw his hand on the mattress, "It's maddening! How could I forget a body like that!" He waved his hands towards Amy's body and then cleared his voice, "It's impossible! What crazy drugs did your liberal college give us, Amy?! I can't have my mind affected! It's inexcusable."

Amy smiled at his compliment, and moved back to him, "Look, let's go through this step by step. We obviously came home okay. Let's start in the living room. Come on, follow me."

"But Amy! I don't have a robe." Sheldon used the sheet to cover his body as Amy glowered at him, hoping he was joking. No such luck.

"You hypocritical jerk! You just made me get up and show all my business! Even my bedonkadonk." Amy was becoming nervous again, but not as much as Sheldon.

"I don't know what that is. Is that more of your made up language?" Sheldon tried to eye her up and down to decipher her slang, but it was lost in translation. He had seen all of her, however, so whatever her bedonkadonk was, it must be stunning, he concluded.

"Let me put it this way, you better get your skinny bedonkadonk out of that bed…" Before she could finish her rant, Sheldon rose off the bed letting the cotton sheet drift off his pale skin revealing every inch of him, and some parts that were growing by the minute. Amy stopped mid thought. "Oh my!"

Amy twirled around and grabbed another one of her robes and threw it back to him without turning around. "I see what you mean, how can one forget that!" Amy cleared her throat.

The first thing she did was go to the bathroom and gargle with mouthwash. Sheldon timidly followed her and did the same. They were silent as they racked their brains for any hint of the familiar, but there was nothing. Amy headed toward the door, waited for him to meet her and the couple exited Amy's room but soon stopped with a gasp.

The living room was littered with condom wrappers. On the couch, the table, by the kitchen sink, all over were opened foiled packages and worse still, was the used ones on the floor. Amy and Sheldon just looked at each other, not willing to step into the room.

"Oh my god! How much sex did we have!?"

"I don't know, but from the look of it, we are very adept at coitus, Amy!"

"Adept at coitus? Sheldon, we're sex gods! Look at this place. Oh lordy!" Amy stumbled back to her room, sat on the bed and put her hands on her face. Sheldon closed the door to hide the scandalous scene and sat next to her, unsure what to say.

"I just… I don't understand. I mean I remember being at the party. I remember chatting up the donors and you being upset with a few of them."

"They had no business talking to you like that!" Sheldon remembered being furious over the flirtatious attention Amy was getting, it was almost as if he was jealous, but that would be impossible. She wasn't his girlfriend and he had no right to be possessive. He did remember giving her a glass of that tasty punch, and then another.

Amy was still thinking, "We ate a little. The dip was horrid. Nothing like my onion dip, but that punch was delightful. I think I had at least 5 glasses."

"I had 6 or 7. I think.." Amy raised her eyes, but Sheldon balked, "Hey! It was tasty!"

The both looked at each other in horror.

"WE WERE DRUNK!" The realization hit them like a freight train filled with vodka. They were drunk, soused, potted, blotto and most importantly, had had their inhibitions completely stripped from their psyche. They looked at each other, and suddenly, everything made so much more sense.

Amy got a faraway look, "I remember water."

"Yeah… Lots of water. Dancing too."

"Laughing. I remember laughing so hard, my side ached."

Sheldon glared at her, "Amy, by all accounts we had sex like over 15 times. I am not sure I like that you are remembering laughing. Kinda hits a guy in the ego." Sheldon thought about it, "But I do as well." He started to snicker.

"Okay… we both remember dancing. So get up, let's dance." Amy stood up and held out her hand for Sheldon. He took it timidly then, held her waist with a light touch. He held her hand and awkwardly moved in a stumbling circle in one spot. The proximity worked, "I remember you were singing."

"Glow worm…" Sheldon started to hum the tune, then started to sing, " _Glow little glow-worm, fly of fire  
Glow like an incandescent wire," _Sheldon remember, "It was dark out. We were walking home."

As Sheldon become more confident, he spun Amy around and sung a little louder, " _Glow for the female of the species, Turn on the AC and the DC."_

Amy started to laugh and said with glee, "Oh, its working! I remember you stopped singing, and started to talk about AC/DC… And I thought you were talking about the band…"

Sheldon looked down at her while still holding onto her waist, and dancing with her, "And I was speaking about the fight between Tesla and Edison over electricity…" Sheldon stopped dancing and watched Amy's face. She was glowing, like the lyrics said: incandescent, electric and glimmering with a power over him. He was almost blinded by her radiance.

In a moment that seemed more of a memory than anything else, he reached his hands up to her jaw and held onto her soft face as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Amy held her breath while Sheldon kissed her with timorous urgency. He wanted to feel her again and he cursed his drunken memory that had robbed him of probably the most intimate night of his life.

Sheldon pulled back his lips, but pulled her body closer to his. He asked with a low tremulous voice, "Did, um, that feel familiar at all?"

Amy eyes were still closed and she let out a sigh, "No. Do it again." Sheldon didn't wait but a second and his mouth was on hers just as it had been when they were on the couch. Amy moved her hands to the back of his neck and moaned into his kiss. It was familiar, but like the couch kiss the night before so she decided to change it. Amy separated her lips for a moment and lightly ran her tongue over his bottom lip. She could taste the mint of the mouthwash and then felt his tongue meet her again as he mirrored the action. Their novice tongues twisted across each other's in an apprehensive twirl. Sheldon felt an electric shock jolt him with each second he kissed her. He forgot the reason for holding her, or kissing her or anything. All he knew was that he wanted more of her.

Sheldon tilted his head and pulled her further toward him, which made the couple inch back toward the bed. By the time his knees felt the mattress, his mouth was wide open, tasting every bit of Amy he could. Their tongues danced together, just as their bodies had done a moment before, timid yet hungrily.

Sheldon sat on the bed, but still held onto Amy who was standing before him looking down at him with swollen lips. Her hair fell to either side of her face, forming a tunnel between her and Sheldon. Sheldon looked up and asked, "Did that feel…"

Amy shook her head, "No… you?"

"No. We need to keep going."

"Agreed." He continued to kiss her, taste her as his hands felt her body through the thin fabric of her robe, but he wanted, no needed, the tactical sensation of her skin to ignite his memory engrams. While he kissed her, he became daring and reaching for her robe tie, he pulled the strap. With one swift motion, the robe was undone.

Sheldon stopped and looked up at her, "Um… we must have become undressed at some point. Do you agree?"

Amy was trembling, but she nodded her head. Sheldon pulled the robe off his shoulders and then moved his hands to the gap in Amy's robe. He molded his hands around her small waist and then as the robe opened wider, he shifted his hands up the edge of the robe, between her breasts to her shoulders and then stopped and drew in a breath to catch his nerve.

Amy leaned down to kiss him as his hands glided the garment off her shoulders to a puddle on the floor. She pulled back for a moment when she felt the cool air hit her naked body. She looked to Sheldon for any reaction, but he had lost his breath staring and felt his heart drop at the sight of her before him.

"I would have remembered, Amy. I would have.." Sheldon looked up at her in awe and overwhelming admiration. He ran his hand down her arms to her hips and then with a swift motion, pulled her onto his lap, while her legs straddled him. Amy gasped as he drew her close. His lips were already latched to her neck as he kissed each inch he had coveted over the summer. Their fake hickey session was never enough for him, it just gave me a taste of what he wanted. He moved his hands over her bare back and shoulder blades causing Amy to arch her back to his touch and expose her chest to him. Sheldon moved his mouth down her neck to her breast, tasting every surface of her with his curious tongue.

Sheldon mumbled while he devoured her skin, "We aren't supposed be enjoying this."

"We're not. Our endocrine system is NOT in control. We are.. This is.. Ohh this is only for … This is only to trigger our memories, nothing more, correct?" Amy was a melting mass of hot clay under Sheldon's movements.

"You're right. God, you're smart..and soft… and smell good… and…mmmm…." Sheldon dove into Amy's chest again enveloping her breast in his mouth as his tongue teased her nipples. She was losing any semblance of control.

Amy released a low moan and said while she quivered at his touch, "We're not… Not at all.. Just to remember… Oh god…" Amy couldn't keep the pretense up a minute longer as he teased her nipples with teeth and tongue.

Amy ground herself against his voracious touch, matching the intensity of his teasing her hardened nipples with her hips pushing toward his erection. The friction alone was causing her to almost climax, but then Sheldon swiftly pulled her down onto her back and reached down to touch her between her legs. His mind was not his own, his young, long ignored endocrine system was in complete control. He had the exuberance of a teenager, but none of the knowledge due to years of sexual repression. He was just following an instinct he never knew he had.

The novel texture of her wet folds and breathy moans was enough to tell him he was on the right track. Amy did some exploring of her own. She had never felt a man before, but one casual stroke down Sheldon's erection, and the couple froze with mutual apprehension.

Amy spoke first, "Did we really do this?"

"We must have, but god, Amy...I just…can't fathom…" He gave her another soft kiss and then looked deep in her eyes for not only permission but recognition of the gravity of it. He received both, eagerly. "Do you want to… do this again, then?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first." Sheldon needed her permission before he did anything.

"I think we should, don't you? Just to remember." Amy moved herself under him further. She was one minute from crawling on top of him, memory recall be damned. Sheldon was in the same state. The mix of her unique musky scent with that intoxicating aroma of her hair, Sheldon had long decided he wanted it all and not have the memory stolen by some elixir.

Sheldon reached for the lone condom unwrapped on the nightstand, "I really hope this memory thing kicks in soon, Amy. I have no idea what to do, or how to put this on. I hope this works."

Amy smiled at his lack of confidence. It was so rare he wasn't positive he could do something and excel at it, "Sheldon, according to evidence, you are adept at coitus, remember?"

Sheldon looked a little insulted, "Adept? I thought you said sex god?" He continued to try and apply the condom, hoping he did it correctly. He figured, based of the living room floor, he was an expert.

"Right, so let's see if we remember how glorious we were. I mean how hard can it be… It is just like riding a bike… a gorgeous bike… **Oh dear lord** …" While Amy was talking, Sheldon had positioned himself and given how excited Amy was, it was a simple maneuver. However, this feeling was nothing she had ever experienced. Sheldon held on to the side of her face as he waited for her eyes to open again.

"Amy… are you okay? Did I do it wrong?"

"No.. I don't think so… Go slower… much slower." Amy tilted her hips back, wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her. While Sheldon slowly entered her, Amy could feel an odd pain, a burning feeling, then as he moved again, a rush of pleasure.

It was not quite like riding a bike, Sheldon thought or he would have fallen off by now. However, the movement was almost innate, as if his body knew what to do even if his mind did not. Watching Amy's face contort with each thrust confused him at first, but her slight smile, and throaty moans told him he was moving right.

It was glorious, as Amy said; a wondrous feeling building within him that he couldn't contain. It was tight, wet, warm and inviting, however what it wasn't was familiar. Sheldon had never experienced anything like this. He didn't want to admit it, but he had already imagined what it must be like making love to Amy. He could only deny his attraction for so long before even his own subconscious scolded him. However, any fantasy he had had was never as exhilarating as this feeling tightening up within him as slid further toward oblivion.

Suddenly, the tide of novel feelings broke through the damn as her walls tightened around in pulsing waves. He stiffened his entire body as if the action would hold on to the rapturous feeling, but it didn't. He collapsed on her, and breathed out all his once held in oxygen. Amy was in the same state, as she caught her breath and bit her lip. Sheldon raised his head and kissed her cheek before he slumped off her body to lie next to her.

Suddenly, Amy's face grew pale and she froze. Her white knuckled response was unexpected, but she had to confirm something. Instead of nuzzling into Sheldon's chest, which he hoped she would do, Amy almost bounced off the bed, grabbed her robe and rushed to the bath.

Sheldon sat up, concerned over her sudden reaction. "Amy.. Are you alright? Did I do something wrong? Oh man… maybe we should have been in the living room. We did it over 15 times in there! Amy?!"

Amy called back to him from the closed bathroom door, "Everything's fine Sheldon. Please just give me a moment, okay… Call it girl stuff."

"Oh! Sorry. Of course." Sheldon thought this was a good chance to clean up while she was away. He reached down for the condom he had on, but it was missing. He threw off the sheets and looked everywhere but it was gone. He knew an interdimensional portal couldn't have taken the condom, but it was the only conclusion his limited experience could fathom. "Um…Amy.. I think we need to discuss the idea of multiverses in so far as it relates to condoms…." Sheldon sat back on the bed, and waited for Amy to emerge.

Amy called back, "What? Sheldon, you're not making sense." Amy came back of the bathroom, pensively biting her lip. Sheldon still thought she was a vision; her long hair was pulled to one side of her face which still had the glow. She went to the bed, and climbed back in next to him. She wanted to hold him when she told him what she discovered.

"Amy… The condom is missing. I think that…"

Amy rolled her eyes, "I know how your mind works, Dr. Cooper. There is no alternate universe that steals condoms. Sorry. We had.. let's say a mishap, but no problem, I found it. That is not what concerns me…" Amy nuzzled on his chest so she didn't have to look in him the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Well. We _thought_ we had sex 15 or so times? Right?"

Sheldon sat up resting his back on the head board. Being in bed with Amy seemed so natural, he didn't even question their conversation location, "Yes, although given what we just did, and the amount of time it took... We would have had to leave the party at 8:47, come straight here, start in on each other and not stop till 4:16. No rest, nor breaks… I don't know about you, but I am exhausted. I wonder if alcohol makes you ignore your need for rest? Based off my father, it makes you pass out in a huddled mass on the bathroom floor, so what gives?" Sheldon hated that the math didn't add up and he was right.

"Sheldon…I'm sorry to tell you this, but that was our first time. I was a virgin. I know this based off empirical evidence and let's leave it at that, given your aversion to even the smallest amount of blood..." Amy continued to gnaw on her lip hoping Sheldon wouldn't ask about the proof.

"How could you… Oh… oh dear… Was that the pain you felt? Oh no.. I am so sorry! I thought it was just your bony hips!"

Amy glared at him, "You want to talk bony hips, really slim? Let's go there."

"Never mind…. You were saying.." Sheldon gulped and shut up about bony hips, "You think that was the first time?" Sheldon let out a sigh of relief.

"I do, Sheldon. I had no idea when we started, but there is no doubt." Amy took a deep breath and sat next to him with her back against the head board, "If you want to know the truth, I'm elated. I didn't want to lose my virginity in some drunken haze that I would never remember. This way, I know what I did. I will remember all of it and most importantly, I know I wanted it. No alcohol lowering my resistance. Sure… no Neil Diamond and candles, but also no doubts." Amy smiled and pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. That last thing she wanted to do was look in Sheldon's eyes and see any regret.

Sheldon took a deep breath and let out a sigh, "Amy. I have to say, I never imagined ever having sex. Even when I was a teenager, while I was getting a PhD, my brother was getting a STD."

Amy nudged him, "You're so funny, Sheldon."

Sheldon loved that she always got his jokes. He smiled warmly at her and continued, "I never thought about it, never hoped for it, and certain never planned for it."

"Neither did I, Sheldon. It wasn't a priority, and it certainly was never a possibility. I never planned for it."

Sheldon smiled because he knew he had a kinship with Amy, "Exactly. No girl ever turned my head, I was too busy to notice or care. If it wasn't for meeting you, I bet I would be virgin forever, and would never even realize I had hormones, let alone what to do with them."

Amy swallowed, "And now? How do you feel about what we did?"

Sheldon gulped and looked down at her with hope, yet intense trepidation, "No regrets."

Amy slumped down and let out a huge sigh, "Phew! Oh thank goodness! Well, don't worry! We never have to do that again! It was just to get our memories back. We can go back to how things were. Nothing will change. We can stay friends. Right? Please tell me we can be friends still, right?" Amy's voice was cracking now with fear. Having a friend had been her dream, more than sex more than anything. If this act took that away, she couldn't live with herself that she may have ruined her one chance at having a friend.

"Of course, Amy! I would never want to lose you as a friend. I don't think that is possible, no matter how many times we have coitus." Sheldon smiled but held in his lips to hide his desire. It didn't work, Amy saw through his words.

"Are you saying you would want to do this again?"

"Would you?" Sheldon played with the edge of the sheet, twisting it while waiting for her answer.

"I asked you first." Amy said timidly.

"Yes, but my answer is predicated on your response, ergo, I need your answer first." Sheldon grew more adamant.

Amy voice rose, "But my answer is predicated on your response!"

"We seemed to have reached an impasse."

Amy eyes popped out at him and she almost hit him, "Yeah, because you won't say what you want!"

"Right now, I want pancakes!" Sheldon looked dreamily at the door to the kitchen. Just the mention of food and Amy was in the same state.

"Oh! And bacon! And Eggs with cheese! Oh maybe a bacon omelet with cheese, and those…" Amy was already up and at the door. She had more energy than ever before. Sheldon however was dragging, but starving.

She tip toed through the wrappers to the kitchen and there she found a piece of evidence that helped her remember the night before, but she decided to save it till after breakfast.

Sheldon stumbled into the living room wearing Amy's longest robe which only reached his bony knees. He looked ridiculous, but seeing all the wrappers strewn around the room he was too vexed to care how he looked. He grabbed the broom and started to clean, but the memory of the night before still eluded him, and the liquid on the floor, confused him further. They must have taken a shower, or an interdimensional portal from a water world had opened up in the living room. He thought the later seemed the most likely.

The couple was silent as Amy cooked and Sheldon cleaned. Sheldon spent the time trying to recall the events, but the only flashes his mind would allow through were from the morning and seeing Amy under him. he smiled as he swept the floor clean.

Finally, after Sheldon had gobbled down the mammoth breakfast like a truck driver after a long haul, and after all the dishes were put away, Sheldon verbalized his dismay at his missing memories.

"Amy. We still have no idea what all this was about. I hate to think… Hey!" Sheldon entire head was soaked with a splash of water as he was hit in the side of the head with a water balloon. Specifically, a condom balloon.

"I think I figured it out." Amy couldn't contain her laughing anymore, she buckled over cackling as Sheldon's face grew boiling red.

"So that's how it going be? Oh, it is so on!"

Amy raised her brows a few times, and said with a sly grin, "Oh my dear Sheldon. It was never off!"

Sheldon rushed to his room and grabbed pitcher, filled it with the coldest water he could and came back to the kitchen. Amy was still laughing till she saw Sheldon.

"Okay… I'm sorry.. I just.. Sheldon... you'll have to mop!"

"I like to mop." He grew closer to her with an evil leer."

"Yes..but ..SHeldon..no.. I didn't… AHHH!" Sheldon threw the icy water over her head as she screamed and shook her hands while feeling the shivers run through her body. Instead of backing down she grabbed the sink hose and turned it on Sheldon, but he was way ahead of her, grabbing it as she did. The hose soaked both of them as the two fought. However, once Sheldon grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into him the battle was over. They were both dripping, laughing hysterically which slowed once they looked at each other.

Amy ran her hand down the side of his hair, following the drips of water outlining his jaw. He took one look into her jade green eyes, and pulled her into a heated kiss. The action seemed the most familiar to the couple since the morning. This must have been what happened last night….

_After Sheldon punched out the dignitary from Saudi Arabia for getting to close to Amy, the couple left the party at the behest of the Harvard President. They wandered around the grounds, singing loudly, playing drunken Counter factuals, and laughing at the liberal arts majors. Soon they found a fountain and started to dance in the waters._

" _Amy… this water is so unsssantitary.. We are going to get e coli."_

" _No we won't silly! We will get cryptosporidiosis"_

" _Oh that's better. Hey! Your dress is soaked!" Sheldon started giggling, "I can see your boobies."_

_Amy looked down, "Oh dear! Well. I can see your… I can see… I can't see a thing!"_

" _You have water on your glasses, silly… You're pretty." He splashed her again, but lost his balance, and fell back into the fountain. "OH no! I am going to get a cryptanalysis."_

" _No silly, Cryptospori… dos… do se do! Ha!" Amy splashed him again and then she too fell into the fountain. Their reverie was interrupted by the security guard, Felix._

_After much wrangling, he got the couple safely home. Sheldon whispered to Felix, "Aint she pretty?"_

_"She sure is Dr. Cooper." Felix helped Sheldon into the apartment. "Be good now."_

" _Okay! Bye." Sheldon turned to a dripping Amy Farrah Fowler who was messing with something at the kitchen sink._

_Sheldon swayed back and forth as he tried to focus on her every move. He was distracted by her coy smile, blinding him, "Amy! You are so pret …" SPLAT! He was hit right in the face with condom filled with water. He couldn't move for a moment, as he processed what she did. Then he knew what it meant: WAR!_

_Not to be outdone, Sheldon grabbed a handful of condom, and while desperately trying to hold himself up at the bathroom sink, he filled the condoms and proceeded to pummel Amy while she fought back with every condom she could get her hands on. Finally, when they were within an inch of each other, their sides hurting from laughter, Sheldon said through one of his laughs._

" _I love you." He stopped moving, weighing the implications of his statement, but knowing it was just the truth and he couldn't stop it if he wanted to._

_Amy stopped laughing, and smiled while she swayed, "I love you too."_

_He stumbled into her arms, "I don't want to lose you."_

" _You won't. Promise." Amy smiled and stumbled, but Sheldon caught her._

" _You ssshould take off your wet dressss."_

_Amy pulled his tie loose, "Race ya!"_

" _OKAY!" Sheldon rushed to pull off his clothes while Amy struggled with her dress zipper. Sheldon almost ripped off his shirts and pants. Before long, they were both completely naked, in Amy's shower._

" _Hey, we won't get streptococcus this way." Sheldon rubbed soap on Amy's body but he was too busy holding himself up to do much good. Her elbow was very clean, however._

" _Not streptococcus… cryptosporidiosis." Amy tried to clean Sheldon, but she kept washing the wall instead." You silly physs… fissy… non-biologist.."_

" _You're so smart. This shower is small. You're so pretty." Sheldon was trying to find words, but his head wouldn't stop spinning. They were too tired and intoxicated to do much in the shower. Finally, they got out, and collapsed on the bed, almost falling asleep naked while letting Amy's quilt be their towel._

" _I'm cold. Let's get under the covers."_

" _Good idea…" Sheldon tried to concentrate on Amy's body, but the room was spinning, "Amy… Are we going to have coitus?"_

" _Tomorrow." Amy was almost asleep in Sheldon's arms. "Remind me, okay…"_

" _Tomorrow."_

"…" _Amy fell completely asleep, while Sheldon succumbed soon after._

The evening memories came back slowly as they kissed each other in the kitchen. Finally, Sheldon pulled back to take breath. With a large swallow, he said meekly, "Yes."

"Yes what?"

Sheldon saw her dilated pupils and swollen lips and finally voiced his desires, "I um… want to do it again."

"Me too..." She pulled away from him slightly to see his face, "But…"

"Shower?" Sheldon knew exactly what she wanted. He had been dying for shower the whole morning.

"Yes." Amy looked almost shy at the request.

Sheldon's smile helped her feel better as did his next question. "Together?"

"Yes… Please." Amy followed him to the bathroom and slowly took off her robe as she waited for Sheldon to get the perfect temperature. Sheldon turned around to see Amy completely naked, standing before him.

Sheldon stammered his response to Amy standing before him. It was like his fantasy, only better, "I should say again Amy...as I did last night... I think I said it...anyway... You're very pretty."

Amy brushed her hair back behind her ear, and smiled with a renewed shyness, "Thank you, Sheldon."

He took off his robe, held his hand out for Amy to join him the shower. As the warm water rushed over the fused bodies, Sheldon felt a wave a calm rush over him. Every kiss he gave her seemed almost predicted, as if it were destined. Their roaming hands and heated wet kisses couldn't be contained much longer. Though he wanted to, Sheldon was too inexperienced to have sex in the shower, he worried they would fall. He never broke this kiss with her as he turned off the water, guided her out of the bath, tumbled on his bed and continued what he wanted to do in the shower.

As they held onto each other, cuddling and touching each other's faces as if they were jewels, Sheldon drew in a short breath.

He said with a low breathy whisper as he held her face, "I remember last night. Everything I said. I meant it."

"Me too." Amy released a sigh. She remembered their words as well. It wan't spoken again, but it was enough.

**Chapter 9: Ch 9: Mars Pull**

**Chapter 9: Mars Pull**

The next week the couple spent every moment together, even more than they normally would since having two beds in the dorm seemed ridiculous to them now. They hardly left the house, let alone each other's arms for 6 days. Sheldon's libido was in overdrive after being ignored for so long. He was in his sexual prime, a fact Amy realized when she calculated how many times they had sex over the 6 days. They were scientists at heart, and after the original shyness wore off , they tried every position they could think of and some worked better than others. Sheldon perfected shower sex, his favorite, he decided. Their initial assessment that they were sex gods wasn't too far off. Before the end of their last week of summer, they had plied through almost Amy's entire box of condoms..

When Sheldon and Amy weren't making love, Sheldon was on the computer, and in fact, Amy caught him one night on her computer with a wire between them.

"Sheldon… What are you doing? It looks like even our computers are having coitus!" She laughed as she went to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.

"OH.. um… nothing. I just wanted the pictures you have.. You know.." He quickly finished what he was doing, and sat back in his chair while he watched her with a melancholy smile.

Sheldon took a deep sigh and asked, "Amy, are you on scholarship here?"

Amy furled her brow, but it was becoming a habit for days. Sheldon had been asking a number of odd personal questions lately. He had asked her questions such as which high school did she attend, or what was her undergrad GPA or her favorite college or favorite professor. Amy took it all in stride and chalked it up to Sheldon's quirky personality. "Yes, and the money from my trust that I told you about is running out. Good thing I only have year of my masters left, that and the Norway trip."

Sheldon shot up like he was shot in the heart, "What Norway trip?"

Amy was concerned by his reaction she knew she had mentioned that she wanted to study abroad before. However, she had never told him plans were already made, "I am scheduled to study abroad in Norway in the winter. Lousy time to go, but it was cheap. I will finish my masters there while studying under Dr. Gunderson."

Sheldon scampered over to Amy to grab her hands in a pleading motion. He was frantic, "That's the worst idea I ever have heard! The Scandinavians have a lousy sense of humor Amy. All they eat is creamed fish. Fish in cream, Amy! The horror of it! It's cold and dark! Like really dark! Like... can't study kinda dark. You need to cancel! You need to cancel tomorrow!"

"Sheldon! I can't cancel! I know how you are about plans, why would you ask me change mine? What's with you?" Amy pushed him away and shook her head. "You're being silly!"

Sheldon slumped back on his chair and cried out, "Amy… I don't want you go to Norway… Being 2588 miles away is far enough. I can't take another 2735 miles! It's not fair!" Sheldon was blinking rapidly and breathing through his nose as his eyes were darting around trying to reevaluate something.

Amy came up to him and wrapped her arms around him, "Don't worry. I won't fall in love with any blond Thor looking men."

"I should hope not!" Sheldon kissed her cheek, and pulled her onto his lap, "How do you know about Thor?"

"You took me to the comic store and left me in the corner for over an hour while you debated with that weird guy about Batman… I got bored. I know stuff!"

"Yes! You are smart. Smart enough to know Norway is no place for you. You'll get cold, Amy."

"I'll have a coat, silly." Amy leaped off his lap before his beguiling charms caused another burned dinner. More than once this week, their amorous activities have caused charcoal dinners, and orders for late night pizza. Not that Sheldon cared. He rather not eat, if it meant he could spend more time with Amy wrapped around him. This time, Amy didn't want his favorite dinner to be ruined. It was the last she would cook that dinner for him, and she wanted it perfect.

She rushed over to finish the dinner, with Sheldon sauntering behind her, still raging about Norway.

She placed a large plate of spaghetti in front of him, but even food would not stop his rant. Sheldon was undeterred, "They have killer polar bears and otters. They look sweet with their little black noses, but they will bite your face off!"

"Well, it's a long way off. We'll see what happens, okay?" Amy had no idea why Sheldon would care. They would be separated anyway.

Sheldon was still brooding, "The only time either one of us should go to that part of the world is to collect our Nobels, and get the heck outta there." Sheldon grabbed his fork and slumped over as he dove into his dinner. His demeanor changed in an instant. He had time to change her mind.

"Oh, Spaghetti with hot dogs. Yummy." He realized as soon as he started to eat, that dinner meant it was Friday. Only three days left. He savored every bite as he watched Amy pick at her dinner.

Sunday was a rough day not only was it their traditional shopping and zoo day but it was also their last full day together. Amy was wandering around the grocery store with the cart pushed by Sheldon, when she asked innocently, "Do you think you will want the cinnamon toast…" Amy stopped and swallowed the hitch in her throat. She should be shopping for one since Sheldon was leaving the next day. She quickly turned away from him, and wiped the tear off her face before he saw, but it was too late. He knew she was upset.

Sheldon cleared his throat and asked, "Amy… Do you like tacos?"

"What? Sheldon? Why would you ask me that?"

"Just wanted to know, Amy. No reason." Sheldon looked away and wheeled the cart toward the produce aisle. Amy hadn't expected a tearful goodbye, or any more declarations of love, but she also didn't expect the random irrational questions from Sheldon she had been getting during the past week. Anytime things got too intense, and the realization of his departure was too great, he would ask her a random question. Amy thought it was his way of coping with the separation, but it was becoming tedious.

The shopping was done quickly and the couple went to the zoo for the last time together, but Amy grew tired and she wanted to go home before they had finished their traditional tour. She silently put away the groceries, while Sheldon watched her every move. He said nothing, but when she was done, he pulled her into a familiar hug.

There was only one time Sheldon left her side that week. After a morning of making love, Sheldon was wrapped up in Amy's arms dreamily tracing designs on her skin with his fingers. He loved how her skin was like a canvas to him. Amy was dreaming about their future together, as he stroked her arm and side. She innocently asked what his plans were for Thanksgiving since they were going to be apart. Sheldon tensed up, and shot off the bed. He gave her a quick kiss, dressed in a hurry and rushed out the door. He was back in hour, with no explanation of his absence. Amy decided to keep their impeding separation a forbidden topic He came straight over to Amy, and pulled her into a strong, silent hug. She could feel his body shake from holding back his own tears. It was the same hug he gave her that last Sunday, and it almost broke her.

Their last night in bed together was quiet. Instead of making love they just held onto each other, drinking in as much of each other's scent before it was taken away. Amy was nuzzled into Sheldon's chest playing with his ribs. Her insecurities grabbed a hold, and she wondered if he would be lying with another woman before too long. Amy knew how appealing Dr. Sheldon Cooper had become on Harvard campus, and now that he was sexually awoken, it would just be a matter of time before he would be tired of waiting for her.

Sheldon packed the day of the trip. He couldn't face looking at this suitcases before that. He cleaned his room and closed the door for the last night. Silently, Amy and Sheldon walked to her car, and drove to the airport. Amy almost asked if he wanted to drive by the harbor for the last time, but she knew he had California beaches waiting for him. Amy looked over at her, but he just gave her a smile.

At the airport, Sheldon asked if she could walk with him to the gate. He didn't want to miss a moment that he couldn't be with her. They walked quietly to the gate, waited for the boarding call. Amy's long hair hid her redden face, but not the quake in her voice.

"Do you have your hand sanitizer? You'll need that. Oh, and I made you a snack. Here. I know you don't like to eat while flying but you'll need this, it's a long flight and you get cranky if you don't eat."

"I don't get cranky, I think you are projecting." Sheldon answered back sharply.

"Maybe you should eat now." Amy glared at him. She had been testy with him all day, but she knew why. She was angry that he was leaving. She knew it wasn't justified, but every time he tried to smile and make her feel better, it jabbed the knife further in her heart. Her only friend in the world was leaving. She would be alone again.

"Amy… I'll call you as soon as I land. I promise.. I just want to say…" Sheldon was interrupted by the call for boarding. As he gathered his bags, he looked at Amy's pained face and could only think of one thing to say:

"Amy… how do you feel about bears?"

"Bears? Really? You're leaving and you want to know what I think of bears?"

Sheldon's face showed no emotion, "Yes, specially, large ones."

Amy let out a sigh and the realization flooded her that he was just not in the same place as she was, "I love them, Sheldon. With all my heart and soul."

Sheldon smiled, "Good… I'm so glad…" He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

Amy started to shake from tears, "I'm… going to miss you, Sheldon."

Sheldon pulled back and smiled, "Not for long Amy. Not for long." He brushed back her hair, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He lingered a little longer to drink the last of her scent. Reluctantly, he released her and started to walk down the hallway to the plane.

As soon as Sheldon settled into his spot on the plane, he opened his laptop and retrieved the document he had been working on all week.

_Application to UCLA Neurology Department for Amy Farrah Fowler_

He looked at the logo for UCLA, a large bear called a Bruin and smiled. " _Not for long, Amy_."

The first week of Sheldon's absence was hard for Amy. She cried into her pillow every night, especially after the phone calls from him. Just hearing his voice was torture.

The apartment was empty for only one day before Amy had a new roommate: a quiet Chinese exchange student who said nothing to her for the first 3 days due to almost pathological shyness. This situation suited Amy just fine. She didn't want to become friends with another person who would soon leave. Also, the idea of someone else being in Sheldon's old room made her stomach twist in knots.

The classes Amy had scheduled for the fall were brutal. However the worst was the stomach flu Amy contracted. It started off just as a nauseated feeling anytime she smelled onions. Amy figured it was the takeout food she was eating. Just being in the kitchen had caused her to cry remembering the meals she had cooked for Sheldon, and the ones he had destroyed for her. So she had been eating out for most meals. The whole apartment held his presence. More than once, she almost called out to him to ask a question. Even the mundane task of folding towels made her cry. He always did the laundry, and she had almost forgotten how. She swept the floor instead of using the hand vacuum. Everything she touched was rife with memories.

Sheldon wrote her every day, sent a link to his blog and called every night at 8:00 PM eastern standard time. Just before Halloween, he sent her a t-shirt that said, 'This is half of a matching costume." Amy loved the effort he put into keeping them connected, but Amy felt the distance was a strain.

Sheldon tried to keep a strong face for Amy, but his soul was crumbling from missing her. He couldn't eat Italian food because just the whiff of spaghetti sauce made him teary. He tried to distract himself from her haunting memory, so he watched a few movies, unfortunately the soundtrack in one of them used the song, Clair de Lune. He paused the movie, and sat quietly for hours as tears streamed down his face. He wished he was the android in the movie, and was able to shut off his emotions, but he wasn't. Every time he was upset over missing her, he channeled his pain into his plan to get them together again. He had his plan to keep him focused and hopeful during the day, but the nights when he would hear her voice say good bye were agony. He would curl up with a pillow and say good night to her by proxy.

Amy's semester started off poorly and got worse each day. She couldn't concentrate when she tried to study. She was tired all the time, even overslept one morning missing an important class and her stomach bug was getting worse. Amy was convinced Harvard had messed with the water. She even did a test to see if her conclusion was correct, but unfortunately, it was clean.

She was scheduled to go over medical charts in preparation for her Norway trip and while she was there, she hoped they would be able to give her something for the aliment that kept her sick most mornings.

After a few blood tests, Amy was brought into an office where a stoic doctor with ice blue eyes sat across from her at a large desk. Amy was confused over all the falderal about a simple vaccination request, but she sat quietly waiting for the doctor to speak.

"Ms. Fowler. I have the results from your test today, and wanted to know how you wanted to proceed. Before you boost your vaccination, we ran a pregnancy test. And… Well.. The results were positive."

Amy swallowed the last bit of saliva in her mouth. "Excuse me?"

The doctor looked at the chart, and not at Amy, "You were unaware you were pregnant?"

"I can't be pregnant. I can't be. That's impossible. We were VERY careful!"

The doctor didn't look up from his papers, "Did you use a condom? Birth control?"

"Condoms. EVERY TIME. This is impossible!'

"Did you ever have any time it came off, or broke? That happens with um.. new couples... ya know." The doctor looked up enough to see Amy's pale expression and knew the answer. It was that first time, when the condom came off before Sheldon could remove it. Their first time, and she ends up pregnant. What were the odds? If Sheldon was there, he could calculate them. But he wasn't there. It was only Amy looking across at the unsympathetic doctor.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Fowler. When was the date of your last period?"

Amy thought about it, she couldn't remember. She had been so busy with school that she had not realized that she had missed her period. "I can't be pregnant. I have just turned 20! I have to… PhD before 22. I can't be."

"Do you know who the father is?" The doctor ignored her previous statement about being careful and went through his routine questions without looking at Amy.

Amy looked confused, "Of course. I do… But he is .. Oh no…" Amy mind flashed to Sheldon's innocent face. He couldn't handle this news, she thought. He would shut down, or worse tell her some stupid random fact, like the recipe for Chicken Fried Ostrich. He was on track for a Nobel Prize, and more importantly, he lived 2588 miles away. That relationship was holding on by the strings of the World Wide Web and nothing more. She knew it was just a matter of time before they drifted further apart. Amy started to panic, and jolted up off the seat. "I can't be pregnant. I didn't plan for this. I plan for everything. Not this…" She hugged her chest as she felt air leave her lungs.

The doctor finally showed some semblance of empathy, "Ms. Fowler I know this must be a shock, but you have a lot of options. Please seat down, we can discuss them."

Amy paced around the office, rattling off her reasons, more for herself than the audience, "You don't understand. I know what time I get up in the morning, I know when I will get to class if there is a snow storm. I know who my professor will be two years out and what grade I will get. I know when my shoes need to be replaced. I plan everything. EVERYTHING. This is not in the plan. He doesn't even know me enough to love me, let alone a baby. I have to go. I can't…" Amy thought Sheldon loved her, but a baby as well? She was questioning everything. it was too much for her to process, and by extension too much for Sheldon to know. She she knew what to do.

The doctor stopped her at the door and handed her a pamphlet and some prenatal vitamins, "Please Ms. Fowler. Take your time to think about this. You are not that far along, you have some time. It's a big decision."

Amy looked down at the pamphlet and then back at the doctor, "I have no options." She left and rushed to door, wiping her tears. Her plan was to head straight to the clinic, before she could change her mind. She didn't see the woman entering the building, and ran smack into her. Amy fell on the ground with her pamphlet and vitamins scattered over the floor like drops of rain.

"Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. Oh. Ms. Fowler! How are you?" Mildred picked up the papers and held out her hand for Amy to help her stand up. Before Amy snatched the papers away, Mildred saw her pained tear stained face and the pamphlet title, "What to do when you get unexpected news." From Planned Parenthood.

"I'm fine..Its fine… just.. I have to…" Amy slumped her shoulders, huddled into mass and started to cry. Mildred wrapped her arms around Amy like a shawl.

"Come on, honey… Let's go talk." Mildred held onto Amy and took her to the café to get her some tea. Mildred watched the stoical woman that Amy could be, return with each sip of the hot beverage, but Mildred knew she was dying inside.

Mildred reached for her cigarettes, then put back the pack. She took a large breath and asked quietly, "Does he know?"

"No. I just found out. I can't tell him, he is just child himself. We both are. I mean I am only 20. I can't even rent a car! He can't even drive one! He doesn't want this. It would be selfish of me to burden him with this news."

"Honey, it's both your burden."

"Not if he never knows. He wouldn't know what to say. I don't think he even loves me, he said it only once, but we were..." Amy slumped back in her chair and played with the tag of her tea. The tea steeped slowly into the hot water, as did the realization that Amy's life was irrevocably changed.

"Ha! That man loved you within a week of being here. Do you know how many times Dr. Coopa came to my office? 37 times and every time he was talking about you. The last time he came in was a few days after the party, he begged me for the President's address. He came running in, screaming for me like some crazy mad man. I had to calm him down he was almost hysterical. He kept rambling that he couldn't cook turkey, and he couldn't be apart. He wanted to beg the president for a job and apologize for punching out that Saudi guy."

"You knew about that?" Amy looked up from her cup to see Mildred smiling.

"Honey, everyone knows about that." Mildred pulled out a cigarette on instinct again, then looked at Amy, and quickly put it away. "He even asked if I knew anyone at MIT so he could work there. He wrote over 25 letters that last week, all of which were rejected. Caltech knows what he is capable of, and they practically own him. He almost quit there too after he found out they called and told no one to hire him. I think he didn't quit because he said you would think less of him."

"What? He would never quit. Never."

"Sweetie, he would do whatever it took to be with you. If he knew you were with child, his child? Well… that man would stand up and do anything for you. Just think about it. I am not going to tell you what to do, or what I would do. That's for you to choose. But all I can say is, let him know first, no matter what you decide, okay?"

"I guess that is only fair." Amy let one tear run down her face as she spoke, "This wasn't the plan. I was supposed to have my PhD by 22, be getting research grants by 25, head of the department by 30. Running my own lab by 35 and Nobel by 40. No blue eyed Texans, no sex, no endless nights of crying into the pillow that holds his scent and certainly no babies. How can I have a baby and get my PhD?"

"Who is your supervisor, Dr. McCarthy, right?"

"Yes, She's been my academic supervisor for a year."

"She had her first son in the last semester of her first PhD. The twins a couple years later. It happens all the time. People are usually older than you, though. I know that's a factor. If you do have the baby, you are going to need help. Do you have any family here?"

"No, they are all in California. Oh my god… my mother…. She said, 'A hymen and self-respect are better than friends and a good time.' She was always saying something like that, god I can't even think anymore! She will freak out. Oh god…" Amy put her head in hands and tried to hide away from the world.

"Ms. Fowler, just think of one thing at a time. I think you have one person you should tell sooner rather than later." Mildred smiled but she knew the burden she was carrying, both physically and mentally. She also knew how much Dr. Sheldon Cooper was in love with this woman seated next to her. Hopefully that love could be felt from so far away.

Sheldon had plans to visit her for Thanksgiving. He planned it after he came home that day defeated from the President's office. It was the one bright spot of the whole fall. Usually she spent Thanksgiving studying or avoiding the demands from her mother to a visit. This year, she wanted to cancel everything and spend the week huddled in a ball under her grandmother's quilt.

It was not that she did not want children, she did, but now was not the time. Not with the father thousands of miles away, only able to squeeze a short vacation to see her. How could she finish her classes? Who would watch the baby when she was in class? How could she afford it? She couldn't stay in Graduate housing with a baby, so she would have to find an apartment. She had no one in Boston that could help her. She felt she was alone with the decision and the burden.

She made a few phone calls and found a clinic near Harvard. They said the procedure would only take an hour at the most and she would be recovered by the next day. Amy thought this was acceptable since she had midterms that week and she would only be missing one class. Before she headed out, she took Mildred's advice and called Sheldon. Unfortunately, there was no answer and this was not the kind of news to be left as a phone message, but she couldn't delay and risk losing her nerve because of a phone call. She hung up and drove to clinic.

Amy walked up to the clinic door and held on to the cold metal handle with a tight grip before she opened it. She walked up to the counter and whispered her name to the receptionist, hoping no one heard her name. She was smart enough to know she shouldn't be embarrassed, but she didn't want to have to explain to anyone. She was given a clip board and some paperwork to fill out with a concerned smile. It was only 4 pages, but Amy felt it was as thick as a doctoral thesis.

The first page had all the normal questions, name, age etc. The next page asked her health history and sexual partner history. Amy understood the need for disclosure, but she paused at one question in particular: Do you know who the father is? Amy thought of the implication of the question that had been asked of her twice now. She could have had this fate, if Sheldon had not saved her from that Frat house party. What horrors have some women had to cope with holding this same clip board, mulling over that question.

Did she know who the father is? Sure she knew his name, but did she know him at all? Dr. Sheldon Cooper had come into her life like a whirlwind not six months before. She shouldn't know him well, or at all, but she did. She knew almost everything about him, every quirk, interest, dream and hope.

She knew him too well, and she knew he would want to know that she planned on ending the pregnancy.

_This wasn't in the plan_ , Amy kept on repeating to herself. She closed her eyes for a moment to take a break, only to be jarred by a text from Sheldon.

" _Forgive me, Amy. I am unable to respond to your call now. I am giving a mid-term and to talk on the phone would be disingenuous since I promised to fail the first person I saw with a phone. I wanted to inform you that Thanksgiving plans have to be changed. Instead of me visiting you in MA, would you be able to come to California? I have sent a plane ticket to your email. I apologize for this change in plans, but it is necessary. Besides, as long as I see you, any change in plans can be accommodated. 15 days is too long to wait. Love, Sheldon."_

Amy put away her phone and gripped the clip board as her tears fell on the half-filled document. Amy could not do this without telling him first and if she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure she was ready to do it all. She rose off the uncomfortable waiting chair and headed toward the counter.

Amy handed the clipboard back to the woman with an apologetic tone, "I'm sorry.. I just…" Amy held onto the papers for just a moment more as she steeled her nerves.

The kind woman behind the counter cut her off, "Don't you worry none, ya hear. We are here if you need us, and even if you don't. I'll shred these here papers, and if you need to, you can fill em out again, okay hon?"

"Okay…" Amy offered a half smile through her tears and pushed the clip board back to the woman. "Thank you."

Amy walked to her car, numb from the turbulent emotions running through her mind. She was not aware of returning home, grabbing her book bag, walking to class, or even getting the study guide for the test she had prepared a week for. She was not aware of ordering food, or paying for it or even eating it. She was on automatic, like one of the Robots that Sheldon admired so much.

All she could think of was the look on Sheldon's face during one of their visits to the zoo during the summer. It was the day that a little boy had accidentally run into him outside the Koala arena. Sheldon had looked down at the eager toddler with a scowl, which then changed to a beaming smile.

" _You want to see the Koalas too, huh?" He moved out of the way so the little boy could have the best spot to view the Koalas eating the eucalyptus leaves. Every few moments, the boy looked up at Sheldon and pointed to the Koalas. Sheldon told him everything about them, even though the boy was barely able to talk. When his mother came behind the young boy and picked him up for a better view, the boy reached out for Sheldon, and then pointed to the Koalas with a big smile. "Mars pull. Mars Pull!"_

_The mother was confused, "No honey, Koalas!" She smiled at Sheldon apologetically, but Sheldon just beamed at the words._

_Sheldon ignored the mother and said, "That's right… Marsupial."_

**Chapter 10: Ch 10:Best laid plans of mice and Shamy**

**Chapter 10**

**Best Laid Plans of Mice and Shamy**

15 Days later, Amy was collecting her carry-on bag ready to deplane as she landed at Los Angeles Airport. She could feel her heart beat thump louder as each minute drew near to the time she would see Sheldon again. In the last two weeks, Amy had felt that the relationship had been strained, but she knew it was the burden of news she carried. She thought him to be aloof and carefree, which had infuriated her since she was experiencing the worst time of her life. She couldn't fault him however; he knew nothing of the lead weighted decision with which she wrestled.

Sheldon continued to tell her how much he looked forward to seeing her again while asking her odd questions like, what was her favorite brand of feminine hygiene products or brand of girly yogurt. His innocent quizzical nature only solidified her decision as the right one. She just needed to tell him what she decided.

She had a week off for the Thanksgiving break, but after she gave Sheldon the news, she expected she would be staying with her mother. Amy expected the worst and planned for it.

Amy had been avoiding talking to him on the phone and used the excuse of a heavy work load. The truth was she was only going on this trip to tell him in person. He deserved to know what she had planned BEFORE she did anything. He might try and talk her out of it, but Amy could see no other option available: She would have the child and give it up for adoption.

As much as an abortion would be easier, she just couldn't bring herself to go back to the clinic. Each day she felt her body change and she knew that this was the best choice for her. Their combined genetic material could make an astonishing offspring and a loving family who lived together could raise their child in the environment that would foster it's brilliant mind. Of course, Amy had a list of requirements for the prospective parents that made even the best of homes fall short of her impeccable scrutiny.

When she arrived, Amy expected the stoic greeting similar to the goodbye they had exchanged when she had dropped him off at Logan's airport. She laughed to herself as she thought he might even reach out and shake her hand. She hoped he wouldn't notice the change in her body. She was only three months along and hardly showing. Her morning sickness had subsided and she had more energy. The long flight had taken the wind from her sails, but she couldn't deny, seeing Sheldon again was a joy she couldn't miss.

At the airport, Sheldon was waiting impatiently for Amy to arrive. Beside him, was a redheaded companion who seemed as eager for Amy to arrive as Sheldon.

"Dr. Cooper. How long since you've seen your girlfriend?"

SHeldon looked at his watched for the 10th time in a minute, "Well, Henry, our status is ambiguous at the moment, but to answer your question, 81 days 12 hours, 23 minutes."

The man standing next to Sheldon was only older than he by a few years but was no fool about Sheldon's status with Amy Farrah Fowler. Henry knew as much about her as anyone could care to know since Dr. Cooper's only two subjects of conversation were string theory and Amy Farrah Fowler.

"I bet you can't wait to see her. I hope I have enough tissues for the teary reunion." Henry nudged Sheldon playfully, but it was ill received.

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Amy Farrah Fowler does not give into maudlin displays of emotion. There will be none of those emotional reunions that you see in those girly movies you are always telling me to watch."

"HEY! The movie Chocolat' was brilliant, Dr. Cooper."

"I think you just have a craving for sweets." Sheldon poked Henry's rotund stomach, "You need to watch that habit, Henry."

Henry shook his head and chuckled, "Like your habit for clementine's, Dr. Cooper. You're gonna get an ulcer the way you put them away."

"At least they are healthy. I have to watch my figure." Sheldon glared at him a moment as Henry rolled his eyes. Sheldon turned and looked through the crowd, "Now hush, the plane is landing."

When Amy made her way off the ramp, Sheldon was in the large crowd waiting for her. As soon as her eyes met his, her heart almost stopped and she couldn't stop her smile. At the moment Sheldon saw Amy, all reason escaped him. He tore through the crowd almost mowing over a mid-age couple wearing matching tropical shirts just to get to her. He immediately cupped her face while he smiled. He couldn't find any words. He just drew her into a searing kiss, not caring who saw or how much they groused. Emotion over took Amy and tears started down her face as Sheldon picked her up and twirled her around.

"Oh Amy. I'm so happy to see you." He breathed his confession into her neck while filling his nose with her unique clementine aroma.

Amy lost her words, but managed to eke out, "I missed you too, Sheldon."

He looked down at her red swollen eyes and wet face and saw a melancholy grin. "Ah, now. Don't worry. You're with me now, and everything is fine. I have everything arranged. Look, the university have even given me a lackey!" Sheldon walked over to a rotund young man with blinding red hair who rolled his eyes at Sheldon's description.

"I'm not a lackey! I'm your TA!" Henry handed a tissue to Amy and then shot at searing look at Sheldon who shook his head in return.

"Potato, patato. Anyway, help Ms. Fowler with her bags."

Sheldon was very pleased with himself at having the forethought to get a personal driver. He had wondered how he was going to drive Amy around and show her all of the sites he had planned without one. He had asked Caltech if he could have a grad student, and hordes of eager applicants were interviewed, but he had chosen Henry because he possessed the two qualities Sheldon needed as an assistant for one of the most acclaimed physicists in String Theory: A reliable car, and tendency to be quiet. Shy, ginger Henry who drove a Camry fit the bill perfectly. Though lately, he had a tendency to be mouthy, but Sheldon figured he was just cranky from sugar withdrawals.

"And another thing, the university didn't _give_ me to you, I volunteered." The young man grabbed Amy's bags and held out his hand, "Hello, I'm Henry, Dr. Cooper's assistant. I've heard SO much about you, Ms. Fowler. " Amy blushed and pushed back her hair. Henry smiled and asked kindly, "How was your flight?"

Sheldon got between Amy and scowled at Henry, "Now now, I'll ask Ms. Fowler the questions…" Sheldon turned to Amy with a beaming smile, "How was your flight."

"Good, but long and a little bumpy." Amy held her stomach and just kept looking at Sheldon, barely believing he was real. He seemed older for some reason, and less thin and certainly more jovial. He wore her favorite shirt, his Red Flash shirt. She loved him in red. As they walked, she felt his hand grasp hers. He was never one for hand holding, as Amy had found out in Boston, but now that they were finally together after 81 long days, he couldn't let her go. Sheldon sat in the back seat with Amy, and Henry made some comment about Driving Ms. Daisy.

"I told you, her name is Ms. Fowler." Sheldon rolled his eyes and whispered to Amy, "See what they put out of MIT these days?"

As they drove home, Sheldon had to point out all the different ways to get across LA, most of which Amy already knew since she had grown up in Southern California. He also made Henry give Amy a driving tour of UCLA and was quick to point out that the only acceptable food source near the Neuroscience department only served Tacos. Sheldon also pointed out the large Bear Statue that he said gave him the willies, but he knew that Amy would be fine, since she loved bears.

Amy loved the tour but it also saddened her. She had hoped to be at UCLA at some time in the future for her post doc work, but that dream was over two years away. However that had been her original plan, but given her current situation, everything could be in jeopardy.

"See Amy, Henry is taking the 405 to the 101, however, at peak hours, he would take the 10 to the 101 then to Barham, Correct, Henry?"

"Correct Dr. Cooper. One day we drove this route over 20 times to get the optimum route for each time of day. A thrilling Wednesday if ever there was one." Amy noticed Henry's eyes rolling, but Sheldon didn't catch a hint of the sarcasm.

"It was fun, wasn't it?" Sheldon smiled at Amy. He was almost proud that he could put up with Henry for an entire afternoon. It showed that his tolerance for lesser minds had grown substantially.

Amy asked Henry, "Did you finish the driving lessons I started with Dr. Cooper in Boston? He was almost ready to put the car in gear before he left." Amy's smirk did not abate when she saw Sheldon's narrowed eyes to stare her down.

Henry tilted his head back to answer, but he was sure to keep his hands on the wheel, lest he face Dr. Cooper's ire, "No, Ms. Fowler. He insisted on waiting for you."

Amy looked surprised, "I hardly think a week will be sufficient time, Sheldon."

Sheldon just smiled, "We'll see. Now, oh look! It's the LA Zoo! We have to go there Amy! You'll love it!"

Amy had no idea how he planned to fit all his sightseeing, driving lessons, plus Thanksgiving into such a short visit. He was very cagey on her itinerary which puzzled her as Sheldon had an itinerary when they went to the grocery store, let alone a visit to LA.

Henry drove Sheldon and Amy straight to his apartment in Pasadena. He had just leased the space, and was so thrilled to show Amy that he leaped out of the car and pulled her into the foyer before she had a chance to thank Henry who brought in her bags.

Henry called back to the hurried couple, "I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Cooper!" Sheldon was too engrossed with Amy to call back to him, but Henry was not surprised, knowing he would be that way as Dr. Cooper had been unable to talk about anything other than Amy Farrah Fowler for weeks.

As they walked into the apartment foyer, Sheldon had to show her everything: How to get mail, where the laundry was and who to avoid in the elevator. He was very pleased there was a police officer next door, and said Amy could ask his advice on dresses. Amy cocked her head and just listened to everything Sheldon was rattling off about the space. It was as if he was a real estate broker selling her on the property.

Once on the 4th floor, Sheldon opened up the door and announced, "And we're home." He had an bubbling grin as she walked into the spacious apartment. "Our home." Sheldon added under his breath.

It was sparsely decorated, with a few green and white folding lawn chairs and a plastic milk carton for a table, but it was large, with a wonderful view of Pasadena City Hall. Each magnificent thing Sheldon showed her just made her gloomier. She realized that once had she told him she was pregnant, every idea of sharing a life together would be for naught. Amy feared more than anything he would be angry, and reject her. She was prepared that he would blame her, yell, scream and say how she is ruining his perfect life. She caught a hitch in her throat as she tried to hold back tears. Her hormones were raging, firing off negative thoughts faster than super collider. She needed to catch her breath.

Sheldon noticed that she was woozy and offered her a chair, "I'm sorry, Amy. I am just so happy you are here. I have so much to tell you, but you need to rest. Do you want to take a nap before dinner?"

Amy sighed, "Yes, please Sheldon. I am so exhausted from my power study sessions, and the flight. I haven't slept well since I found out…" Amy trailed her voice off and looked at her hands folded in her lap.

Sheldon tipped his head in confusion, "Found out what?" She usually told him everything.

Amy looked up and saw Sheldon's kind face. He looked so innocent wide eyed and eager for any knowledge. This news had to wait, however. Amy needed to have a clear head when she told him. She prayed that Mildred hadn't fired off an email to him informing him of her condition. Though given his demeanor she was fairly sure that he knew nothing.. Amy blurted out the first thing she thought of.

"Oh… that I got a 98% on my midterm… Silly me. I forgot the most likely mechanism for a certain drug would increase in the rate of voltage-dependent changes in K+ permeability, not decrease… I mean, it was ludicrous that I would miss it."

Sheldon looked concerned and then hooded his eyes and he turned from her. He bit his lip and then asked timidly, "It's because I left, isn't it? Couple that with all the changes to the plans for our visit. I'm…sorry but I couldn't help the plan change. " He walked over to her and ran his hand down her cheek with a guilty scowl.

Amy tried to ease away his concerns, but she started to ramble, "No… no…. I know you had to come back, really. I understand that. I mean, you have your work and you're on track for the Nobel. I would never stand in the way of that. It would be selfish of me to think you would stay and I could never live with the guilt. You don't want to live back East with what did you call them, Yankee liberal popsicles?"

"Well, it gets ridiculously cold there, but that's not why I couldn't go Amy!" Sheldon was frantic to tell his side of the story, but Amy cut him off.

"Besides, I have only two years left, and I will be coming here anyway. I would never want anything to…" Amy didn't notice the tear streaming down her face. "This is how it has to be. We have a plan. We need to stick to the plan. Just because something happens that you want more than anything before in your life, you have to keep the blinders on and not let emotional considerations fog your life choices."

"But Amy…"

"No, Sheldon I would not do that to you. I ..lo… I just won't!" Amy swallowed the word love. emotions had to be squashed for her decision. She had to keep her heart away from her head while she carried the baby. It was the only way she could do what she planned.

Amy stiffened up, took on a robotic cadence and continued, "I won't be a burden. I won't. I just… I'll take care of things. I know you can't now.. I will…" Amy almost fainted from her exhaustion, but Sheldon picked her off the chair before both she and the chair folded up. He wondered if she had heat exhaustion again, but as he held her she was shivering from cold he thought.

Sheldon pushed back her hair as he held her face and gave her a soft kiss. The gesture relaxed her, and she fell into his arms again. He was itching to tell her his plan, but he knew he had to wait till she had rested. He walked her back to the bedroom and tucked her into the new sheets and blanket he bought just for her. She noted that the bed was large enough for two, but was too tired to comment on it. She smiled as soon as the scent of talc hit her and was out in 20 seconds. Sheldon sat with her, and watched her sleep. He bent down, and kissed her head, but paused for a moment to soak up her clementine scent. He hadn't realized how much he had missed just that scent in his life.

A few hours later, Amy awoke to the smell of scolded water, burned hot dogs and carbonized tomato sauce. She almost jumped off the bed with horror: Sheldon was cooking.

She rushed to the kitchen to find Sheldon fighting with a spaghetti package. He was wearing an apron with a Fire Marshall shield on it. _How apropos_ , Amy thought.

"Sheldon! Are you cooking?" She rushed to the kitchen to save the tomato sauce from Cooper Fire Department.

"Well, trying… I seemed to have.. Oh fiddle sticks. Those hot dogs are burned too!" Sheldon moved the smoking pan to the sink. Amy came up behind him, and tapped his shoulder.

"Please… Let me…" Amy didn't wait for a reply. She moved around the kitchen as if she had been there for years, as if she were at home, Sheldon thought. Within 20 minutes, Sheldon was being served his first Spaghetti with hot dogs in almost three months.

"Oh how I've missed you, Amy!"

During the silent dinner Sheldon was worried about Amy's demeanor. He didn't expect a maudlin display of emotion but he also didn't expect her to be so despondent. Amy was uncharacteristically quiet she didn't seem to want to meet his eyes and avoided physical contact. He knew it was time to tell her.

"Amy, please sit. I have so much to tell you."

"I have a lot to tell you, as well, Sheldon." Amy grabbed the two sheets of paper in her purse and made her way to the chairs. One sheet was the positive results of her pregnancy from the doctor, and the other was a comprehensive list of requirements for adoptive parents.

Sheldon wondered what her news was, but he couldn't wait a second more to tell her.

He took a deep breath and started. "Amy, I have been working on something for months, and finally a few weeks ago I got confirmation. I have something to show you." He went to his desk and brought over a letter in a thick envelope. It was addressed to Amy Farrah Fowler at Sheldon's address at 2311 Los Robles Ave. and it was from UCLA."

"I don't understand. Why would UCLA be sending me letters to this address?"

"Read it." Sheldon smiled and tapped his knee in anticipation.

Amy opened the letter and read the words, but she could hardly believe it. "What is this? How could UCLA accept me to the Neuroscience department, when I have never applied?"

"I did… For you! The only hard part was your signature, but the pages out of your notebook where you practice Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler made it a cinch."

Amy jaw dropped, "You did what? You forged my name?"

Sheldon sucked in his bottom lip and with a grin, looked at her with largest eyes she'd ever seen. He was so pleased it was almost contagious, "Amy, when I was in Boston with you, I realized I couldn't wait two years for us to be together again. I mean, a week here and there is not enough for a relationship. I tried to get work in Boston, but Caltech made it clear, I work for them or nowhere. Unfortunately, they have enough clout to carry out their threat. So, if you can't reach the mountain, move it! Right Mohammed?" Sheldon winked at her with a smug grin.

"Sheldon? How did you apply, you need my transcripts, they need your latest published work, you need recommendations."

"Our computers did have coitus...I might have caught some of your files as they were connected!" Sheldon winked at her, but she didn't find it funny. He still couldn't hid his smile.

Amy just shook her head, "How did you do this? I would have had to do an essay stating why I wanted to join the program. I have to interview…"

"Your essay was brilliant, if I do say so myself. No grammar mistakes, just so you know, smarty pants! And the interview? Well that is exactly why you had to come here for Thanksgiving. You have an interview with UCLA on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I pulled some strings and…"

Amy threw down the paper along with hers, "Wait, you did what? Sheldon! This is my career! You can't just go around making decisions for me! This is my life!"

"But Amy! You wanted to do your doctoral work at UCLA anyway! This had just moved it up a few years! They have a visiting professor, Dr. Neumann. I heard he is the best in the field at least that is what he said on the phone when I called him about you. Fair warning, he's not an early riser. Anyway... He wants to work with you as your advisor."

"Dr. Neumann? Hans Neumann? Are you serious? Sheldon! He is the top Neuroscientist in the field right now! There is no way he would work with me! I am just in my master program! I'm nobody!" Amy couldn't fathom what Sheldon could have said to get Dr. Neumann to say he would want to work with her. It would be like Stephen Hawking saying he would review Sheldon's paper.

"Well, he knows all about you, and he does want to work with you. He heard about you from Mildred at Harvard. It seems she was working there when he went there as well. Funny story..."

"Mildred? You spoke with her?" Amy almost swallowed her throat.

"I called her for his number when I found he went to Harvard. She was very helpful and more than willing to help me break privacy laws when she heard my plan."

Amy swallowed, "She didn't say anything else?"

"Yes, she said I better hurry my skinny butt up, but I already had a plan, so I told her to go have smoke. She gets cranky with out her cigarettes. Anyway, when I spoke to him, he said you can work on you masters and doctorate congruently with him, and you would have it by 22 or sooner." Sheldon knew her lifelong goal and he thought she'd be pleased, but her grumpy face was a shock.

"Sheldon! My scholarships are at Harvard! I can't afford student loans! The trust from my grandfather only works if I go to Harvard! You know that!"

"Well, you've almost gone through that whole trust, ergo, the next part of my brilliant plan." Sheldon went again to his desk, grabbed another paper and something else that he put in his pocket. Amy was too busy reading over the letter from UCLA to notice. She could start in January; contingent on her interview, it all seemed to be a foregone conclusion. It was everything she hoped for and more, but for Sheldon to decide without her consent seemed so presumptuous.

"Sheldon! Why didn't you tell me about this? Why didn't you ask me?"

Sheldon stopped mid stride on his way to the desk and turned back to her. His face dropped to a frown for a moment, "If it didn't work, I just couldn't see that look on your face again, Amy. That look you gave me every time my going back to California was mentioned. It was like I was stabbing you, wounding you with the situation. Never again will I see that look on your face, Amy. Not if I can help it." Sheldon sucked in his bottom lip and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, as if he remembered something, he rushed back to the desk and retrieved another paper.

"Here's the best part! I can save you thousands in student loans. Look!" Sheldon came back and handed her another letter. It was from Caltech. It allowed Sheldon to teach one class at UCLA as an adjunct professor so long as he kept his research at Caltech.

The letter was even more confusing than Sheldon assuming it was okay to do all this without her consent, "Sheldon why on earth would you want to teach a class at UCLA? I thought you said all they knew how to do was lose at Football and whine that they aren't as good as Berkeley?"

"Well, they aren't as good as Berkeley, for most things. However, for your field, they are acceptable. Physics.. Well… Let's say they desperately need my brilliant mind."

"Sheldon… Its charity! They could never appreciate you!" Amy couldn't comprehend why Sheldon would lower himself to teach at UCLA.

"No appreciates my brilliant mind, Amy. UCLA isn't special in that regard. Besides, there are tuition breaks for families. You would only have to pay half what you normally would. Harvard is three times as expensive as UCLA. Here, I made a spreadsheet outlining the cost savings. Also, you can buy your books with your trust at Harvard before you leave, so you will save money. See it's all planned out." Sheldon handed her a spreadsheet with figures, but she was still too confused by his previous statement.

"Wait, what? What does this have to do with you working there? Families?"

"Yes, but spousal tuition discounts start immediately. See? It says it right here." Sheldon pointed to another page he handed her.

"SPOUSE?"

"Yes. Once we are married, you would get…"

"Married?" Amy felt all the blood in her veins drop to the floor, along with the papers she was holding.

Sheldon scrambled to pick them all up on his hands and knees, and then he realized her confusion. He had made a grave oversight due to his exuberance for his brilliant plan, "Oh right… Hold on…" Sheldon reached in his pocket and pulled out a black box. "Here. It's your ring." He handed her the opened box without looking at her, and continued to pick up the papers.

Amy's lips started to quiver as she looked at the modest ring being handed to her by Sheldon on his knees. She hated to admit it, but she had fantasized that he would propose to her someday, on his knees with a ring in hand. Now she had almost had her wish, except everything was wrong.

"You want to marry me? FOR TUITION BREAKS?" Amy voice rose an octave.

"Yes!" Sheldon smiled, "Um… That's what you should be saying, by the way."

"Sheldon! I can't believe you! You don't get married for tuition breaks! That is a stupid reason to get married!"

"Stupid!? I think not! It's brilliant! So what do you think is a good reason for getting married, Ms. Smarty pants?"

Amy almost screamed at him, "BECAUSE YOU ARE IN LOVE!"

"That a stupid reason. That's as dumb as getting married because you're pregnant or some other nonsense."

Amy pushed him and little black box away and ran off down the hall. She slammed the door on his bedroom and threw herself on the bed to cry.

Sheldon was stunned and did not know what to say to her unexpected reaction. Not only did she not put on the ring, but she didn't even say yes. He had to talk to her, but the papers on the floor were driving him crazy. As he picked up them up to put them in order, he noticed two new sheets. One had her name on the top and said pregnancy test. Sheldon sat back on his knees when he saw the word: Positive

The next paper ripped the air out of his lungs: a list of adoptive family requirements. Amy had a list with everything from acceptable income levels, educational background, dietary concerns to non-gender specific toys and even acceptable colleges for their offspring to attend.

Sheldon started to pull in any breath he could from the suddenly thin air around him, but it wasn't enough. His mind was reeling from the news and he just kept looking over and over the page with word positive.

Finally, he rose off the floor, grabbed the little black box and put it in his pocket. He walked back to the bedroom with shaky legs and heavy heart. He knocked on the door, and entered without a word or waiting for a response.

Amy sat up and brushed the tears off her eyes, hoping he didn't see them, but her reddened eyes gave her away. She looked up to Sheldon and tried to say something, but he cut her off.

"You're pregnant." He dropped on the bed next to her and looked out at nothing while he was still processing everything.

Amy let out a relieved sigh that she had not had to actually to tell him the news, but his reaction was unreadable. She rattled off everything she could in her best martinet fashion.:

"Yes. I think it was our first time when the condom messed up. At least I think so as did the doctor. Also, every time after that we were so careful."

"You're pregnant." Sheldon said the same thing, but just as shocked.

"Yes… I know… I have to tell you, my first thought was to end the pregnancy.I won't be a burden, Sheldon."

Sheldon grabbed her hands, and could only say, "But, you're pregnant?" Sheldon eyes looked pained as she revealed her initial plans. He still couldn't say much more.

"Yes. I still am, almost exactly 3 months. I tried to go at one month, but I couldn't do it, Sheldon. Not without telling you in person. You deserve that. But I have decided that I want to continue with the pregnancy. I am in contact with an adoption agency."

Sheldon cut her off, "You're pregnant!" He said it more like a statement than a question, but it was still all he could say.

"Yes… I know that! Sheldon neither one of us are ready for a baby. Your career is everything to you. I can't stand in the way of that. We live on opposite coasts, it would never work. I don't even think we should see each other after this. It's too much of a distraction for you…" Amy looked down at her hands that she in fists.

Sheldon cut her off again and this time, he changed what he said, "But we won't be living on opposite coasts. You'd live here starting in December. Its only three more weeks… You'd be four months… Pregnant…" He stared off again.

"Sheldon, I appreciate your plan, I do, but that was before you knew I was pregnant. Come on , getting married for tuition?" Amy slumped down as she swallowed her disappointment. "What happens when the tuition is no longer an issue? Do we divorce?"

"I'd rather not."

"Why get married at all?

"For the tuition discount!"

Amy put her hands on her face and nearly screamed through her fingers, "Ugh… I want to get married because it means something. It would mean you want to spend your life with me, not because of tuition."

Sheldon pulled off her hands and held them, "I do want to spend my life with you. Why do you think I am doing this?" Sheldon raised his eye brows hoping she would understand, but she had the look of utter confusion. Pregnancy brain, he figured. "OK, look… the tuition break will make it so you can go to UCLA, UCLA will make is so you are here with me. Being with me forever is the primary goal. Epso facto, marrying you gets you to be with me. Easy peasy."

Amy whispered with a hope she had been suppressing for weeks, "You want me to be with you forever?"

"Of course! That's what you do when you fall in love. Really, Amy, you need to take some prenatal vitamins or something, your mind… lordy…" Sheldon scrunched his face in concern at her addled brain, but Amy beaming smile brighten the room and eased the worry. "As soon as you get here, I gonna have to start watching you better!"

"You said you loved me?" Amy always questioned if he meant what he had said before to her.

Sheldon looked annoyed, "Well, yeah! I thought it was obvious! I told you that night in the fountain? Why else would I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Amy, really this is all very simple. You need to marry me…" Sheldon thought for a moment and then his eyes lit up, "Maybe this weekend!"

"But why did you say getting married for love was stupid?"

"Because it is. You should decide you want to be someone for the rest of your life because you are in love. Being married is just paperwork. Like getting married because you are pregnant. You wouldn't have been pregnant unless we were in love, because we would have never slept together if we weren't. That reminds me." Sheldon looked down at her stomach and smiled, "You're pregnant!"

"Yes.. I am." Amy put her hands on her stomach and furled her brow. "We should discuss my adoption requirements." Amy thought she knew Sheldon's desire on the matter.

Sheldon waved his hand is dismissal, "Oh, I already have a prospective couple. They are brilliant, well-educated and versed in the proper child care techniques to raise our brilliant offspring in the environment which will foster their development."

Amy dropped her shoulders at his calm demeanor at the thought of giving their child away to strangers, but she knew it was the best option. "Who do you have in mind? Another professor at Caltech or something?"

"Not unless you are going to work at Caltech… We are the ideal couple, Amy. We will have the income you require as soon as you get your degree. You can complete your first semester at UCLA and given the gestation period of an average human, our little wunderkind will be here at the end of May, perfect timing. You take the summer off and then we put junior in UCLA day care while we work. It's the best in the whole area."

"How do you know what the best day care facilities are in the area?" Amy was still processing his words. She could barely ask her question.

"Amy, I research everything. I figured it was a matter of time before we would want to have a child and given you would be at UCLA, I found out about it. We just moved up the time schedule." Sheldon grinned, "It all still fits with my 'brilliant plan'. You can call it that, by the way." Sheldon raised his brows and smirked.

"Oh, Sheldon this was never the plan! Are you sure? We are so young, your career is taking off, I am in the middle of school! I'm only 20."

"Age means nothing, Amy. We are smarter than anyone our age and always will be. We can figure this out." Sheldon ran his fingers down her jaw and smiled at her.

He asked with his eyes if he could touch her stomach. Amy nodded with a smile. Sheldon paced his hand on her stomach and just let out a breath. It felt the same, but the implications were mind blowing. "You're pregnant!"

"We really can keep the baby?" Tears streamed down Amy's face. It was everything she hoped. "I thought you… I thought… all our plans, Sheldon! I mean… Are you sure?"

Sheldon brushed her hair off her face with a calming smile he said, "Remember what you said to me: _Sometimes things change, and your best laid plans are for naught! Part of good planning is to have contingencies for such unforeseen occurrences… "_

Amy sniffed and asked through her tears, "When did I say that?"

"July 28th, 1:28 PM. You were a little over heated." Sheldon wanted to change the subject from the one time she was right. "Anyway… Plans change and more importantly… You're pregnant!"

Amy smiled and asked timidly, "Does that mean you are happy about this?" She placed her hand on her belly and looked up to Sheldon who was already smiling.

"Oh, Amy… Why do you continually make me state the obvious? Yes, I am happy about this. Yes, I am in love with you, and if you follow the chain of causality, yes I want to marry because I love you. Now, put on this ring!" He shoved the box in her hands.

Amy sat up straight, and spoke hiding a smirk, "You should have asked me properly, then!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, and went down on one knee while he held out the ring to Amy. He looked down for a moment to gather his thoughts and then looked up at her with wide lapis colored eyes and a slight smile, "Amy… I never planned on falling love, but from the moment I met you, it seemed a foregone conclusion. The mere notion of anything that has even a remote connection to you, and I am filled with a happiness I've never known. I want you in my life forever, and for us to become one so I can have that feeling again every day of my life till my last dying breath."

Amy drew in a short breath and she could feel her face blush. She was ready to say yes before he finished, but Sheldon wasn't done with his proposal.

"In order for this to happen, I need to you to live with me. That can only happened if you go to UCLA, which can only happen if you have a discounted tuition. So Amy Farrah Fowler, will you marry me…" Sheldon smirked and added quickly, "For the tuition break?"

Amy put her hand to mouth and held back her laugh. Then she said sweetly, "Yes, Sheldon, I will marry you… For the tuition break, you romantic fool, you." Sheldon put the ring on her finger and smiled as he saw it fit perfectly. He put both hands on the side of her face and brought her closer. She could feel his shaky hands relax as the kiss lingered. He pulled back and gave her the brightest smile she had ever seen on his face.

Amy let a breath she seemed to have been holding since he left back in September. They had a plan. It wasn't the original, but it was even better. She knew with him by her side, they could do anything. Well, almost anything. She realized that getting any kind of romance from her future husband was going to be difficult.

Amy couldn't help herself, she let out a laugh, "You know, Sheldon… a little romance wouldn't kill ya!" Amy wrapped her arms around him to pull him up and nuzzled into his chest as they lay on the bed together. Sheldon rubbed her stomach and smiled.

"Yes it would kill me, and you know it. However…" Sheldon looked sheepishly at his nightstand. "I… um… got you a candle and a Neil Diamond CD, but given your condition…" Sheldon looked with concern at Amy who was playing with ribs through his shirt.

"You know Sheldon; pregnant women can have sex up till the ninth month with no adverse effects to the child or mother. Additionally, and here I go stating the obvious again, you don't need to wear a condom during intercourse." Amy looked up at his eyes and blinked a few times with a coy grin.

Sheldon cleared his throat, "Um.. Okay… what would that be like?"

"I don't know. Wanna find out?" Amy sat up a little to see his reaction.

"Are you proposing a research project, future Dr. Fowler-Cooper?

"Yes, but we should repeat it as often as we can to get the correct data."

Sheldon started to undo her cardigan as he nuzzled in her neck, "Oh, Amy. You are going to make a marvelous Dr. of Science." He kissed her with all the hope he had been holding in for months, and let it flow to her. He leaned back and added as he rubbed her belly, "And a marvelous momma."


End file.
